


You Give Love A Bad Name

by FrickingKaos



Series: Nick and Amanda [3]
Category: Backstreet Boys, NSYNC
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Childbirth, Comedy, Death, Drama, Engagement, Explicit Language, F/M, Family Drama, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Major Character Injury, Major Original Character(s), Marriage Proposal, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Friendship, Sexual Content, Unplanned Pregnancy, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-16 13:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 55
Words: 50,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10572171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrickingKaos/pseuds/FrickingKaos
Summary: *THIRD in the Nick and Amanda series!* Meet Nick Carter, a rockstar with a big heart. He has always done what his heart has told him...and it has never led him wrong until now. All it took was one night. One night that would change his life forever.





	1. Chapter 1

After everything that had happened that morning, he didn't think he could throw up any more of his breakfast, but his stomach said otherwise. Today was the day...the day he was to be married. 

Off the market, no longer single...case closed. Nick wanted to vomit. 

He had never been so nervous, not even since he had gotten his record deal....or when he'd gone on his first trip to LA alone. None of these things compared to what he was about to do. Nick felt by marrying Tracy he was basically throwing any chances he had with Amanda....any hope that remained for the two of them was now gone. 

Nick adjusted his tie on his white tuxedo, it felt like it was choking him as sweat formed at his brows. Maybe there was still time to call it off. 

It was then that he saw her....Amanda pushing her way through to find an empty seat with Lance at her side. She looked pretty, wearing a powder blue dress and her hair tied at the back with a silver clip. His eyes met hers and he could tell she was trying her hardest not to cry at the sight of him at the altar. 

 

Amanda was devastated. She was watching someone who'd been her best friend half of her life....someone she was in love with get married to another woman. 

It had already been hard convincing Nick to go through with the wedding that morning, although part of her wanted to steal Nick away for herself and tell Lance to fuck himself. 

Especially right now. He'd been a pest all morning, dragging her along to the wedding ceremony because he wanted to watch Nick get hitched. To him, Nick being married meant he wouldn't be after his wife anymore. 

Amanda wiped a tear from her eyes and sighed as Nick's eyes met hers, looking fearful. He clearly didn't want any part in the ceremony. 

"You okay?" Lance asked, but was answered with a punch to the arm when the organ began to play 'Here Comes The Bride'. Nick's forehead was beaded with sweat as Tracy walked down the aisle towards him, wearing a flowing white wedding dress and holding a bouquet of pink roses. Amanda felt the tears come as she walked by with a smug expression on her pretty face.

Tracy had been so cold to her since Amanda found out she was rushing Nick to the altar...but what hurt the most is that their frienship was basically over now. 

 

Amanda would have loved to slap the smile off of Tracy's face. 

 

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to unite this couple in holy matrimony." a priest with graying hair announced. Nick felt himself wanting to run at that moment, run to Amanda and whisk her away like shje had suggested a few days ago. 

 

"Okay, Nick...now's your chance..." he thought to himself. His legs seemed to have forgotten how to move. He looked at Amanda once more, his face almost pleading with her not to let him go through with this wedding.

"If anyone should disagree with this union, speak now or forever hold your peace." the priest continued. Nick looked out at the spectators, his blue eyes darting through the crowd, silently begging for someone to protest....then hated himself for thinking it. He did love Tracy dearly, but at the same time...he wasn't in love with her. He thought of the ring he wanted to give Amanda, the one sitting in his studio. Nick replayed so many times he'd not told her how he felt....was so deep in thought that he didn't hear the priest mention it was time to say his vows. 

"Nick..." Tracy whispered angrily, glaring at him. 

"What? Sorry." Nick said with a sheepish grin. The priest smiled and a few people whispered. 

"Do you, Nick....take Tracy for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" the priest asked. Nick's face was void of color and his hands shook as he could not find his voice.

"I....I....I..." he stammered, and everyone began to whisper. He looked at Amanda again, but Tracy redirected his gaze back to her green eyes, giving him a warning glare. Nick still could not speak.

"They're waiting." she said through gritted teeth. Nick gulped, his hands shaking...sweat formed on his forehead.

"I DO!!" Nick blurted out when Tracy stomped on his foot with her heel. 

"Tracy, do you?" 

"I do." she said confidentally, making sure to smile. 

"By the power vested in me by the city of Oceanview, Flordia - I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now..." the priest began, but Tracy had grabbed Nick's face, kissing him passionately. Nick saw Amanda start to cry and his heart broke as he watched her. Nick made to go after her but Tracy took his hand and stopped him, leaning in close to his ear. 

"Don't worry about her, you belong to me now." Tracy whispered, stroking his hair and kissing him again as the sun finally set behind them. Nick felt like a chapter of his life was over....but little did he know it was just beginning.


	2. Chapter 2.

The wedding reception was held in Nick's backyard. He lived in a beautiful two story beach house with white shutters and a wrap around porch. Amanda and Tracy walked toward the ocean, talking while Nick mingled with guests.

"Congratulations, the ceremony was wonderful." Amanda said, grinning.

"Don't give me that crap. I know you are in love with my husband. Hmm...that does sound nice. MY husband." Tracy whispered threateningly. Amanda wanted nothing better in that moment then to push her to the ground and beat her senseless, but class held her back.

"Excuse me?" Amanda said, raising an eyebrow. Tracy had been acting cold towards her the last month or so...and now she knew why. 

"Let me put it this way. He is mine. You are never going to be with him, and I will make damn sure it stays that way." Tracy said, leaving with a grin. Amanda watched her go inside and fell to her knees by the palm tree, sobbing. Brian appeared by her side a few minutes later, holding a glass of wine.

"Hey, hey....shhhhh....don't cry." he said gently, sitting next to her and rubbing her shoulder in comfort.

"I should be happy for Nick...but I'm not...does that make me a bad friend?" Amanda asked, mascara running down her cheek as she rubbed her red eyes.

"No.....of course not. You wanna know what I think? I think she rushed him into this....he loves you.....you two should be together." Brian said, wiping her cheek. Amanda had alwasy liked him, he was one of her dearest friends as well.....had always looked out for her. 

"No he doesn't, Brian. Why hasn't he told me? He should have before the wedding." 

"Nick told you he wasn't sure if he loved her, didn't he?" Brian asked, avoiding the question. 

"Then why did he marry her?" Amanda wondered, wiping her face. 

"Nick feels that it's too late for him and you. You chose Lance, remember?"

"I just wish he would tell me he loved me, I love him." Amanda sniffed.

"Everything happens for a reason sweetie." Brian replied.

"Well its over for me and Nick. He asked her to marry him, and he chose where he wanted to be." Amanda said. They saw Nick did not look happy...he seemed distant. Tracy had to take him by the hand to meet people.

"Nick didn't ask her. She asked him." Brian explained. 

"But why-" Amanda began but someone coughed behind her. A few moments later, a tall shadow appeared in front of them. Nick stood there, his blonde hair shining in the moonlight. They sat there in awkward silence for a few minutes.

"Um....I'm gonna go check out the dessert table." Brian said before running off. Nick grinned at him as he left, then sat down in the sand next to her.

"Hey." he said after a few minutes.

"Hey."

"You all right?" Nick asked, noticing her bloodshot eyes. Amanda hurriedly wiped them again, the mascara smudging.

"I'll be fine, you know me." she answered.

"Thanks for the talk earlier, I can always count on you." Nick said with a smile.

"That's what friends are for." 

"You look beautiful tonight." he whispered. Amanda wanted to kiss him then, and then stopped herself.

"Oh, Nick...thank you." she replied. He couldn't stop staring at her in that dress. 

"We're leaving for our cruise tomorrow, did you find someone to take my gig at the club?" he asked, trying to hide the fact he was checking her out. Amanda noticed and smiled, but didn't call attention to his wandering eyes. 

"I found a DJ, but it won't be the same without you singing every night...."

"Are you really okay? Be honest with me." Nick interrupted her. Amanda opened her mouth to speak but he suddenly was pulled away by Tracy.

 

"To tell you the truth-" 

"Come on, honey. There are other people here you know." she said, cutting her off before giving a dirty look. Amanda watched them leave, Nick's face pleading with her. Amanda buried her head in her knees, the tears finally falling once again as she came to the realization she would never be with Nick and she had only been fooling herself. Her and Nick would never be anything more than friends.....and she was going to have to accept it.


	3. Chapter 3

Nick stood on the deck of the cruise ship, his blonde hair blowing gently in the balmy night breeze. Looking at the moon's reflection shining on the water, he kept thinking of Amanda and how upset she seemed. He was still in love with her...he thought of their history together. 

"She doesn't love you." Lance's voice sneered, and Nick shook it away. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice Tracy walk up behind him, but he could feel her presence there. She smelled of strawberries, wearing a black silky nightgown with lace at the top. Her dark blonde hair was tied up and she looked stunning.

"You all right, baby?" she asked, placing her hand around his waist and her head on his shoulder, her fingers running across his stomach. Nick smiled at the sight of his wife and put his arm around her, rubbing her shoulder gently and kissing her cheek.

"Just thinking." he replied. She began to kiss him, her lips soft and moist, painted red. Nick returned it, sucking on her bottom lip....the heat inside him building stronger as she slid her tongue inside of his mouth. Still kissing her passionately, Nick picked her up and headed for their room, still kissing her, his soft lips moving across her body. He kissed her face, her neck....and she ran her fingers through his hair. He brought her into the room and kept kissing as he tried to shut it. 

"Fuck it." Nick said as he struggled with the door to their suite. Kicking it closed, he threw her onto the bed and pounced on top of her hungrily. His tongue worked its magic as she ripped off his shirt, exposing his bare chest. Tracy nibbled on his ear and kissed him more...the passion building steadily by the minute. Nick hurriedly undid his pants and kicked them aside, his hands grazing her thighs, his touch causing her to tremble with excitement. 

"Take me..." she whispered huskily. Nick grinned and climbed on top, happy to oblige. 

 

He massaged her breast as he grinded slowly into her, sucking on her neck. When she felt him inside her she shuddered at first....but he was gentle, not moving too quickly. He thrusted again and she cried out, her hand running through his hair. She was glad she had waited....happy that Nick was the one to take her precious gift and explode all over her body like he was doing now. When she felt his face between her thighs she cried out again, this time in pleasure. Nick never tired or showed signs of exhaustion....with Tracy's encouragement the two of them went. again and even a third time. 

 

After a long and beautiful night, Nick awoke to Tracy sleeping on his shoulder, and realized he did love her....that he needed to move on. He and Amanda would never happen.....and his place was with his Tracy. The ship was in Aruba when Nick and Tracy walked along the deck, his arm around her waist. Suddenly they heard screams behind them, followed by gunshots aimed at Nick. 

"What the fuck is going on here?" Nick shouted, pulling his wife behind him. A group of men speaking  
Spanish had appeared ahead, pointing at Nick and talking excitedly.

"That's not good!" Tracy said, listening to them.

"I don't think they are fans....run!" Nick shouted. He and Tracy tried going the other way, but pretty soon they were surrounded. The men started whispering in Spanish. 

"What are they saying? Can you understand them?" Nick asked when he saw the expression on Tracy's face.

"They want you....they said I can go." she whispered. One of the men came over and grabbed Nick, pulling him away from her....another held her back as she screamed.

"Get the fuck off of me asshole!" Nick shouted.

"Let him go!" she yelled, but the men threw Nick down onto the deck of the ship. He got up and was going to run again, but the sound of guns cocking stopped him in his tracks. Tracy screamed again as five guns were pointed at her husband. Nick heard them fire....but at the last minute he was pushed to the ground.....and his wife fell in front of him, bleeding.

"NO!!!!!" he said as she hit the deck....then picked her up and held her in his arms. Warm tears streamed down his face as he looked into Tracy's pale face. Her blood spilled onto his arms...soaking his clothes. 

"Nick...." she whispered, her hand on his cheek as he cried.

"Please.....don't...." he sobbed, stroking her hair. She struggled to get breath, the blood pouring from the wound in her stomach. Nick's hands were covered in it and the copprey smell made him sick. 

"Nick..." Tracy gasped, then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she went limp. Nick was hysterical when paramedics arrived soon after, covering her with his body and sobbing. He watched them take her....declaring her dead. Nick felt as if part of him died that moment....his heart broken into a thousand pieces.


	4. Chapter 4

Gone....

She's gone...

Nick looked at her sprawled out on the deck of the cruise ship, blood covering her clothes and his. His hands were soaked in it, white shirt spotted with it. 

Everything happened in slow motion, people ran over....tried to pull him away but he lay over her body, sobbing. The tears flowed and flowed without sign of stopping. His chest felt tight, as if he'd been stabbed as well. Luckily the ship was docked still and not at sea. The whole time he was being interviewed he felt numb. He barely could get out a reply without it the realization setting in again. 

His wife was dead. Taken by a bullet meant for him. 

Nick didn't know how he was going to go home alone, he debated staying the rest of his vacation but he couldn't. His heart hurt too much. Nick wished he'd told Tracy he loved her, wished he had been honest. He felt sick as he picked up the phone to call Amanda even though it was very late. 

 

Amanda was sound asleep when the phone began to ring, it was late at night and she'd just fallen asleep about two hours ago. 

 

"Nick? Do you know what time it is?" she said sleepily, not even sitting up in the bed. When she heard him sobbing she woke up fully and walked out of the room so Lance didn't hear the conversation. 

"Slow down. What happened?" she asked. Amanda's mouth fell open, Tracy was dead....and Nick was devastated. 

"I'm so sorry....are you all right? Are you coming home?" 

Lance noticed she had left the bed and heard her on the phone so he decided to listen in. 

"You want me to come down and get you?" she asked, not noticing that her husband had appeared in the doorway, watching her. He clenched his fists, glaring at her. Why did Nick have to ruin everything? He was married now....why was he calling here?

 

"I'm sure Lance will understand, Nick." Amanda said softly, before hanging up the phone. 

"Lance will understand what, honey?" Lance whispered from the doorway, causing her to jump in surprise. His green eyes glowed in the shadows as he walked over to her.

"Nick is a wreck.....Tracy was just murdered a few hours ago." Amanda explained. Lance did not respond to this at all, his expression did not change.

"What does that mean to you? He's a big boy now....I am sure he can handle it himself." he said coldly.

"Lance, Tracy is dead. Nick asked me to go down to Aruba and bring him home...he said he can't make the trip back alone."

"Absolutely not, I forbid you." Lance boomed.

"Don't start this shit, Lance. I am not your slave, I can come and go as I please." Amanda screamed after him as her husband left the room. She followed him to the kitchen, her slippers sliding across the tiled floor.

"Amanda, I don't want you to go...what if something happens to you too?" Lance said, putting a look of concern on his face. Amanda knew this was a lie. The two of them were in the middle of a shouting match when suddenly they heard a soft knocking on the front door.

"What the FUCK do you want???" Lance screamed, and a timid looking Brian stood on the porch.

"Um...hi. Could you guys keep it down? I could hear you all the way at my house." Brian said, noticing the look on Lance's face. Amanda shoved her husband in the house before he could say anything and closed the door behind him. She and Brian sat on the porch step, talking about what had happened.

"Yeah, he called me right after he talked to you. I've never heard him so upset before...not since you moved when we were kids." Brian said, looking up at the star filled sky.

"Lance won't let me go...he's always been so jealous of Nick..." Amanda started.

"You have been through so much with Nick...been there through everything with him. He needs you now more than ever. Go to him." Brian told her. Later on that night, Lance lay sleeping in the bedroom as Amanda gathered a few belongings to go to Aruba.

"Sorry, honey." she whispered, kissing him on the cheek before heading to the front door. Lance heard her leave the house and start up the car, feeling so betrayed as he looked at their wedding picture on his night stand. Amanda almost turned back and went inside, but she knew Nick was counting on her and couldn't let him down.


	5. Chapter 5

Amanda arrived at the hotel where Nick was staying in Aruba about two hours later. He had left the cruise and booked a hotel room on the island while the police interrorgated him about his wife's murder. The suite was large and well decorated with a king sized bed, full kitchen, and a large sitting area with plush couches. Amanda waited there for him after being given a card key, checking everything the room had to offer. She sat down on the bed with its satin sheets and heard the door open. A worn looking Nick strolled into the room, wiping his bloodshot eyes and looking miserable. He smiled slightly at the sight of her and they embraced.

"I am so glad you are here." he beamed tearfully. Amanda kissed him on the cheek and smiled at him.

"You okay?"

"They've been asking me questions all night..." he began, then fell silent. He kept pacing the room, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Why don't you take a shower and relax." Amanda suggested. Nick disappeared into the bathroom and she heard the shower running for about twenty minutes before he reemerged, wearing his boxers and nothing else, his skin still moist. Amanda couldn't help but stare at his physique...she never noticed it before because he didn't show off. His damp hair fell in strings near his clean shaven face as he sat on the bed next to her. His cologne overtook her and her face flushed. 

"Amanda, are you okay? You look sweaty." he asked, noticing her expression. She blinked and shook it off, then cleared her throat.

"Thanks for coming, Amanda. How did you convince Lance to let you?" he asked after a moment of awkward silence. She didn't answer right away, she was busily being reminded why she had been drawn to Nick....there was a connection between them she could never explain.

"I didn't tell him, Nick." she finally answered, looking down at her own feet in embarrassment.

"Why?"

"Nick, I care too much about you to worry what my husband says."

"Amanda, that means so much to me you did that. I would do the same for you....I would do anything for you." he replied softly, his face an inch from hers. She stared into his ocean blue eyes and saw herself in them. They sat like this for a few moments, and before she could stop herself, Amanda kissed him. She pulled away, blushing and cursing herself for it. To her great suprise, Nick returned the kiss, his lips soft and his hand resting behind her head, his fingers running through her hair. Amanda was suddenly brought back to the night of their high school prom. A spotlight shone on them and the music played gently as they danced together, their friends watching. Nick had been the one to kiss her first, and they kept going, not noticing anyone else was in the room that night.

"Nick," Amanda whispered, but Nick leaned in once more. Before they knew what was happening, they were undressed and making love. She could not believe how different her husband and Nick were from each other. Nick was more passionate and Lance played rough. The two friends went straight until morning, Nick finally falling asleep around five. Amanda lay next to him, grinning after a wonderful night. Nick's eyelids fluttered open and he stared at Amanda, smilng at first...but then the smile turned into a look of horror.

"Oh my god..." he said, getting up and backing away from the bed. Amanda looked at him in confusion, wondering why he was freaking out.

"What have I done?" he asked out loud. He felt as if in one night, his whole world had come crashing down.


	6. Chapter 6

"Nick, what's wrong?" Amanda asked as Nick paced the room. 

"We didn't use protection! Lance is going to murder me when he finds out I slept with you. None of this was supposed to happen!" Nick stated. He was confused by his emotions at that moment. His love for Amanda and his sorrow at losing his wife were mixing together. He had loved Amanda since the day she rescued him. Although he had never professed his feelings towards his best friend, Nick felt that sex was the ultimate way to say I love you. 

"It will be okay."

"No it won't, Amanda! Do you have any idea what I am going through right now? My wife has died....and I just slept with a married woman. If the media finds out my life is over! What if you get pregnant?" Nick shouted. He really wanted to kick himself. But the way he figured, it was the best sex of his life. He loved her more now that they had been intimate together, and Amanda felt the same way. 

"Lance isn't going to know. Nothing will leave this room....we will go back home today and act like nothing happened." Amanda said kindly, kissing him on the cheek. Nick smiled slightly, but it did not placate his feelings at all. That morning they went back to Florida. Nick was hounded by press asking about Tracy's murder. Nick simply covered his face and kept walking. When Amanda got home, Lance was waiting for her. His green eyes watching her every move as she unpacked. The two of them did not speak at all until the next day at breakfast. Lance set down his orange juice and began throwing her dirty glares. 

"Why did you go?" he demanded. Amanda knew this was coming. She knew he would start asking her why she went to Nick. 

"Nick needed me."

"I asked you not to leave me and you walked out when I was sleeping. How could you betray me like this?"

"Lance, he needed me to help him through this. Nick is my best friend."

"I don't give a damn who he is. That asshole is filling your head with lies to steal you from me. But guess what, I am the one you married. I don't want you to see him anymore." Lance shouted. 

"You can't tell me to do that." Amanda said through gritted teeth. 

"I have put up with him long enough. He is a musician.....you know how those people are." 

"Don't give me that crap, you have known him since we we're all kids. Nick is still the same person he always was." 

"I love you, Amanda. You are my wife. I can't stand the thought of losing you. It would kill me." Lance said, holding her hand and kissing it. Amanda didn't buy his act for a minute. 

"Why are you so jealous of him?" she asked, her brown eyes staring into his green ones. 

"That rockstar keeps coming between us. I love you....can't you see that?" Lance replied. Not satisfied with his answer, she got up and left the table. That night they lay in bed in silence for a while before Lance finally spoke. 

"I am sorry. I got scared and didn't want to lose you." he whispered, kissing her neck gently. Amanda have in soon after and they had sex. She loved Lance when he was gentle and not a big bully. 

"I love you, baby. I am sorry." she whispered as her thoughts again went to Nick, wondering wher he was and what he was doing with nobody to hold.


	7. Chapter 7

*one week later* 

"You okay?" Nick heard his roomate say from the doorway. AJ McLean was two years older than Nick,tattoos covering his arms and neck, piercings in his eyebrow and nose. He was a total opposite of Nick, with his hair dyed blue and shaved in the back. He walked further into the kitchen, chains rattling as he walked.

"Yeah," Nick said flatly, not looking up. He was making blueberry pancakes, and the kitchen was a mess. AJ raised an eyebrow at the table full of pancakes. Nick stood by the stove, busily cooking and acting as if AJ wasn't there. 

"Do you know its not Saturday?" AJ joked, but Nick ignored him and kept going. It was a tradition for Nick to make blueberry pancakes on Saturday morning. The weird part was that it was Wednesday afternoon. 

"Nick?" AJ called, but he ignored him again. Their roomate, Joey walked into the room and saw all the food laid out across the table. He simply rubbed his eyes and smiled. 

"Is it Saturday?" Joey asked sleepily. 

"No dumbass. Its Wednesday and Nick has lost his goddamn mind. Nick snap out of it already! Ya made enough breakfast to feed the Florida Coast Guard!" AJ exclaimed.

"Dude, can I eat then?" Joey asked, looking hungry. 

 

"Sure....sure," Nick muttered. He was a sight to behold, chunks of blueberry in his hair and batter smeared on his face. AJ was confused as he watched Nick cook and Joey wolfing down a plate of pancakes. AJ was starting to get worried for Nick, who all of a sudden dropped to the floor. 

"Nick? What's wrong?" AJ asked as Nick cried, his head in his hands and tears streaming down his face. AJ ran to the phone and called Brian, the first person he could think of. 

"I came over as soon as I could. Where is he?" Brian asked about ten minutes later when he appeared at the door in his police uniform. Brian was a police officer stationed in Miami....he was a good friend of Nick and AJ's. He was handsome, curly light brown hair.....deep blue eyes and a warm smile. 

"He is a wreck. I think he has officially lost it." AJ pointed out as they walked into the kitchen. Brian knelt down and hugged Nick, who cried into his shoulder. 

"Hey...I know you're hurting right now. Tracy is gone. But you need to stay strong, she would want you to be happy," he said softly, putting an arm around him. 

"No, I won't........I will never be happy again." Nick sobbed. 

"Why are you acting like this?" 

"I love Amanda.......we belong together and she keeps choosing that asshole." Nick replied suddenly. 

"Nick I hate to break this to you, but you got to let go of her. She is married, you and her will never be together." Brian pointed out. As much as he had supported Nick and Amanda being together, it was time that Nick moved on and everybody knew it. Nick had been longing for her for years....ever since they were young. He had never given up hope until now. Nick wiped his eyes, knowing this to be true. He would cut himself off from her slowly, until the love went away and he wasn't heartbroken anymore. 

"He is right, Nicky. If she is with Lance, Amanda will never love you back. Let her go." AJ agreed. 

"As much as I don't want to believe it, I think I may have to." Nick sniffed, drying the tears from his bloodshot eyes and brushing away his thoughts of Amanda and their friendship, hopefully for good.


	8. Chapter 8

Nick and Amanda had barely spoken in about three months. One night in late August, Nick did his performance at the nightclub Amanda owned. She had Nick perform there every night, and business was booming. Amanda had success and a husband, and for some reason she was not satisfied. She was hurt that he had not spoken to her, he had cut off all contact between them. They had been so close for such a long time.....but now it was up in the air about their frendship. Amanda knew she needed to tell Nick about the pregnancy....she had to let him know. 

"Hey," she called after him one night as he left the club after his set. Nick did not look at her, he kept heading to his car. Amanda ran after him and grabbed his arm. 

"Nick....."

"What do you want?" he asked, his eyes cold and annoyed. The two of them stood there for a while, only speaking with their eyes. 

"Let go of me." Nick demanded, tugging his arm back and reaching for his car door. He wanted to leave, his heart was aching for her again.

"Nick, why are you doing this to me?" 

"What are you going on about? I haven't done anything."   
Nick said coldly, turning away from her again. Amanda ran to him once more. 

"So this is it, huh? You are just going to end our friendship like that?" she shouted. 

"No,"

"Then why have you been ignoring me? Why have you been avoiding me ever since Tracy passed away?" Amanda asked, her eyes shining with tears. 

"I haven't-" Nick started in frustration, but she interrupted him. 

"Yes, you have Nick. We have been friends since we were ten. Something isn't right here....this is the first time you have stopped talking to me for this long."

"Look, you are married. There is no you and me. I have no place in your life anymore." Nick said, hating himself for even saying it when he looked at her expression.

"We always have each other. What about Aruba..."

"That was a mistake, Amanda. It wasn't supposed to happen." Nick commented, looking down at his feet in disgust with himself. Amanda was beginning to become agitated with Nick...she wondered why he was behaving like this with her.

"Nick be honest. Did you love Tracy?"

"I........."

"Did you love her?"

"Yes!" Nick practically shouted, angry she had brought her up. 

"What if it was me? Do you really want me out of your life, because I can't live without you." Amanda cried. Nick knew she was right, he was making another mistake pushing her away. She had walked out on lance to help him, that had meant a lot. 

"Amanda, this is something I need to do. I don't want to ruin your marriage." he replied. Amanda threw her hands up and scoffed. 

"Nick, are you an idiot? I don't care what he wants, this is what I want." she shouted.

"But-"

"Nick, I'm pregnant." Amanda blurted out, and Nick's face paled. 

"WHAT? You're......when did this happen?" Nick stammered in disbelief. 

"I am three months along already." she pointed out, and he noticed the growing belly. 

"Is....is it mine?" he asked. 

"I don't know yet." Amanda replied sheepishly. 

"Wait, how could the baby not be mine?" Nick wondered, thinking back a few months. Secretly he was excited about possibly becoming a father, but at the same time...it scared him. If Lance found out he had gotten Amanda pregnant...well, Nick couldnt imagine what would happen to him then. 

"Because when I got home from Aruba, I slept with Lance too." Amanda said, disappointed with herself. 

"So there is a chance that I am not the father."

"Yes, but what if the baby is yours? What are we going to do?"

"We will think of that when the time comes." Nick said, hugging her and smiling, kissing her on the forehead. He never wanted to let her go.


	9. Chapter 9

"Come come, I have a suprise for you!" Lance whispered. He told Amanda to close her eyes as he took her by the hand. 

"What is it?" Amanda giggled as Lance lead her down the hallway, sounding giddy. 

"Okay, you can look now." he told her.

"Oh, Lance....it's wonderful!" Amanda squealed. His suprise was a room for the baby. He had painted the walls a light yellow, and a crib stood along the wall. There was a changing table, and it was cozy. 

"I did this all myself......glad you like it." Lance said as she kissed him. Amanda was 6 months pregnant now, her belly growing bigger. Lance made her lunch as the doorbell rang. 

"Hello, Nick!" Lance said brightly, and Nick raised an eyebrow. Lance let him in and patted him on the back. Nick was not used to such a warm welcome, it made him feel very uncomfortable and awkward. 

"Hi," he muttered, walking over to Amanda and raising an eyebrow.

 

"Hi, Nick." she said while Lance brought her a sandwich on a plate with a glass of milk to wash it down. He kissed her on the cheek and walked back to the kitchen, whistling cheerfully. Nick watched it all in disbelief...he was hoping Lance would continue to treat Amanda poorly so she would leave him. Nick knew he was horrible for thinking this, but he was not brave enough to steal Amanda away...no matter how much he loved her. 

"Is he okay? Or did Lance get switched by a pod person?" Nick whispered. Amanda laughed. 

"He is fine, been spoiling me rotten." she explained happily as she ate. 

"Really? Since when is he like this? He is never this nice or friendly with anyone."

"You hungry, Nick? I can make you one too if ya like." Lance offred from the kitchen. 

"No, I'm good." Nick said, a sour feeling in his stomach. Lance's kindness was leaving a bad taste in his mouth and Nick shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Nick, Lance is fine. He is so excited about the baby, he built a nursery!" Amanda gushed. Nick couldn't believe this was happening, Lance was a total different person, cleaning the house, cooking, and waiting on Amanda. This was not what Nick wanted at all, he had hoped they would divorce, but it had all gone wrong. 

"That's great," Nick said, putting on a fake smile for her. 

"Can you imagine anything more wonderful? I am going to be a father!" Lance beamed as Nick smiled awkwardly.

"Its awesome. I am so happy for you."

"Don't worry, Nick. You will have a chance one day. I am sure you would be a great dad." Lance pointed out. Nick looked down at his feet, embarrassed. 

"So, have you decided on a name?" he asked, ignoring him. Nick wanted nothing more than to crawl under the sofa or just run away....he was not happy. 

"I have some picked out. I figure I will decide when the baby comes." Amanda said, noticing the change in Nick's attitude. 

"Cool....." Nick said, not sure what else to talk about.  
He really did not want to spoil their happiness by being there so he left. 

"Lance, I am so glad you are taking this so well. You are so good to me." Amanda said sweetly, kissing him. 

"I always wanted to be a dad, now its finally happening. I love you." Lance replied, kissing her. Amanda frowned, and there was a sickening feeling in her stomach at that moment. Normally she could have chalked that up to mourning sickness but this was different. It felt like heartache.


	10. Chapter 10

Amanda was getting near to her due date and Lance organized her a baby shower at their house. All of their friends came with gifts for Amanda and the baby. But with all the gifts there was also a suprise. Amanda had invited her friend Katie to visit all the way from New Jersey, her home state. Nick showed up late to the shower because he had a meeting.

"Sorry I am late.....wow!" Nick said as Katie walked by them. Amanda was suprised to feel a twang of jealousy when she saw Nick staring at her. Katie was the typical blonde bombshell. Long blonde hair, brown eyes and a perfect figure. Amanda had to fight the urge to choke her when Nick asked to be introduced. Amanda was never the jealous type before, but she knew that when Katie realized who Nick was, she was going to be all over him.

"Katie, this is Nick. Nick, this is my friend Katie from New Jersey." 

"Hello there." Katie said, batting her eyelashes seductively and grinning as she checked him out, her eyes moving up and down his body. Nick admitted to himself this girl was pretty, but he was still in love with Amanda. The two of them began talking and he became more attracted to her as the night went on.

"They seem to be hitting it off," Brian pointed out as he and Amanda observed them. Amanda didn't seem happy as she watched with narrowed eyes. 

"Yeah, great." she responded blankly. Part of her wanted to walk over and say Nick was hers, but the other part reminded her she was married to Lance. Amanda was filled with so many emotions at once, that she couldn't handle them and started crying. 

"Come, let's go to the kitchen." Brian said, leading her away.

"So what do you do in New Jersey?" Nick asked, eager to learn more about Katie. 

"I am a real estate agent. Selling houses, apartments....that sort of thing." Katie answered. Even though she recognized Nick right away, being he was a singer, she still had to ask.

"Oh, I sing." Nick said, flashing his trademark smile at her and making her giggle. 

"Really? That's fascinating. I love musicians." Katie cooed, batting her eyelashes. Nick smiled at her and she laughed again. Amanda returned after having a talk with Brian, and not long after everyone was going home. Nick stayed after to help clean up. 

"Thanks for introducing me to Katie, she is great." Nick said. 

"I am happy for you," Amanda replied. 

"Are you all right?" Nick asked tentatively. Amanda smiled but she wanted to slap the grin off his face for oogling another woman. She chalked it up to pregnancy hormones, but at that moment....she wanted to jump his bones.

"Yes, Nick. Just thinking." she lied. 

"I don't want you to think that she is going to stop me caring about you." Nick replied, putting a hand on her shoulder. 

"Nick, I don't think that."

"Because I will be here for you no matter what, I promise." Nick said, hugging her. 

"That sounds good now, but what about when the baby is born?" Amanda asked.

"Look, if I am the father I will help you any way I possibly can...and hopefully so will Lance."

"I am so scared what he will do if he isn't the father, Nick. What will I do?" 

"If Lance really loves you, he won't care." Nick said. As much as his words sounded comforting, Amanda couldn't help but think that Lance would be far from accomadating to a baby that was not his.


	11. Chapter 11

It had been a long morning for Nick, too long, he mused as he shuffled in the door that afternoon. He had been in meetings with his manager all morning and just did a rehearsal for that nights show at the nightclub he played at downtown. When he got home he put down his guitar case and told AJ he was going to take a nap. When he looked at his king sized bed, his eye caught sight of the large bathroom and an idea formed in his head. Running the water, Nick thought it would be nice to take a long bath and clear his head. Nick undressed and lay in the hot water, sighing as the steam rose. He lay there under the bubbles for a long time, deep in thought. Nick's mind drifted to Amanda and the baby, which was due any day. He hoped he would be a better father than his own father had. Nick thought sourly about his own father who left when he was five years old. He didn't remember anything about him, had nothing to go by except for a beat up photograph that stood on his nightstand. Nick knew he could raise this child   
better than he had been raised. Becoming a father scared him to death in a way also, he was worried what would happen if this baby was indeed his. He never regretted the night in Aruba, but hung on to the memory to remind himself it really did happen. He heard his cell phone ringing in the other room and knew it was Brian but didn't get up. The bath water was still warm and the smell was relaxing. Nick closed his eyes and heard the phone ringing again but still did not move from his spot, even when he heard the doorbell. Nick wondered why everyone was bothering him when he was in the bathtub and sighed again.

"Nick!" a voice came from the doorway. Nick opened his eyes and saw Brian standing in his bathroom, his eyebrow raised. 

"Yeah?" Nick asked casually. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Brian demanded, gaping at Nick's naked body in the bathtub.

"Taking a bath....and why are you in my bathroom?" Nick answered, sitting up in the tub. 

"Why?" Brian asked, still confused. He had never felt more awkward in his life, standing in his best friend's bathroom as his friend took a bath.

"You never seen a guy take a bath before? They relax me." Nick replied as he laughed. 

"Never mind that, Amanda is in labor!" Brian shouted, waving his arms.

"Shit! Shit!" Nick cursed as he leapt out of the tub and got dressed. He raced down the stairs and out to the car, Brian hopping into the passenger seat. Nick pulled out of the driveway and sped down the highway towards the hospital. 

"Dude, slow down. I don't feel like writing you a ticket." Brian cautioned him. Nick looked a little crazed as he punched down on the gas and cut off the driver in front of him.   
"Nick...."

"I have to be there for this, Bri. I can't miss it,"

"You could slow down a little, its not like the baby is yours," Brian stated with a big laugh. When Brian noticed Nick wasn't laughing he stopped. 

"The baby isn't yours, right, Nick?" he asked.

"Nick?"

"Well, it could be." Nick said finally, slowing down a bit to turn into the parking lot of the hospital. 

"How in the hell..." Brian stammered, looking at him in suprise. 

"It happened in Aruba. It wasn't supposed to happen, but I am glad it did."

"Are you out of your mind?!" Brian yelled, but Nick was already out of the car and into the hospital.


	12. Chapter 12

Nick raced down the long corridor after finding our where Amanda was taken to, the maternity ward. He ran right into a sick looking Lance in the hall.

"She didn't have the baby, did she?" Nick asked.

"No.....but she needs someone in there with her. I can't watch, I have a weak stomach. Can you go in there and help her?" Lance replied. Nick tried to hide the fact he was so excited to be the one in the delivery room with Amanda. 

"Sure, no problem dude." he said. After getting fitted in scrubs, Nick went into the room and saw Amanda screaming in pain, her forehead beaded with sweat. 

"Nick! Where the hell were you?" Amanda snapped, glaring at him angrily. Another contraction gripped her belly and she screamed again. Nick watched all of this in amazement. 

"I-was um, busy." he blurted out finally, feeling bad that he had been in a bathtub while something was ripping apart her insides. 

"Son of a bitch!" Amanda yelled, pushing again. The nurse was trying to help Amanda while they waited for the doctor to arrive, who was running late.

"So, how is your day going?" Nick said with a smile. Amanda glared at him again and he fell silent. 

"Not funny, Nick. You try squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of you and see how you feel." Amanda said, and Nick grimaced at the thought. A tall man walked into the room and clapped his hands together. 

"All right, kids. Let's have a baby." he remarked. Nick assumed he must be the doctor but still didn't understand anything that was going on. Amanda held Nick's hand as she pushed and more contractions came and went. Nick tried his best to help coach her through it all. When it came time for the baby, Amanda cursed at Nick louder than ever, but he ignored it. He couldn't help but love her more for enduring all of this. After a while they heard a baby crying and it was all over. 

"It's a girl! Congratulations!" the doctor said, smiling as Amanda began to cry. 

"She is beautiful!" one of the nurses commented as they brought the baby over. Amanda looked at her daughter and knew right away Nick was the father. She had his face. Nick was smiling as they cried together. 

"They are right, she is beautiful. Like her mom." Nick said, and Amanda smiled at him. 

"She looks like you." Amanda stated. Nick knew this was his daughter but told Amanda he still wanted a paternity test done. 

"What should we name her?"

"Celine." Amanda said. Celine Dion was her favorite singer, and Amanda had chosen the name a while before. Nick told her he loved the name.

"And the middle name?" he asked. 

"Nicole, for her father." Amanda replied, smiling. Even though a DNA test had not been done yet, Amanda knew by looking at the baby girl that she was Nick's...she had his features. 

"Mommy needs some rest after all of that. You can go to the waiting room." the nurse told Nick. He kissed Amanda on the cheek and left the room to find Lance sitting in the waiting room looking nervous. 

"Well?" Lance asked, his green eyes watching Nick. 

"A girl." Nick beamed. Lance cheered and hugged Nick, lifting him off of the ground. 

"That's wonderful! Oh, I am a father! This is the best day of my life......thank you so much, Nick. I am glad you were there for her." Lance stayed, but Nick didn't say anything. All he could do was look at his feet and feel horrible. He didn't have the heart to tell him the baby was not his. 

"Let's go and see my daughter, she must be in the nursery now." Lance said, and the two of them walked to the nursery, Nick feeling worse as the minutes went by. Nick and Lance found her near the window of the nursery. 

"Ohhh, she is so beautiful. Like her mother." Lance said. Nick felt a pang of jealousy when Lance talked about Amanda.

"Hey, Nick." Brian said from behind them. Nick looked at Brian and knew he was about to start trouble, wanted to run far away and not look back.


	13. Chapter 13

Brian looked at the baby and started grinning mischievously. 

"Celine Nicole, huh? Nicole....interesting name...it reminds me of-OW!!!" Brian started, but before he could finish Nick had stomped on his foot hard, and Brian cried out in pain. 

"Yeah...Amanda picked the name. I wanted to name her Michelle." Lance said, raising an eyebrow at them and grinning as Brian did a little hop. 

"She is a beautiful baby. You know she looks just like...OW!!"

"Nick, why did you step on him?" Lance asked, as Brian hopped again, cursing under his breath and holding one foot. Nick put on a scared expression and looked at the floor, pointing. 

"Didn't you see there was a huge cockroach!" he exclaimed, and Lance looked more confused than ever. Brian was about to speak again but Nick covered his mouth and rushed him away. 

"Where are you going? Is he okay?" Lance called after them. 

"I am gonna get Brian checked out and complain about these bugs." Nick replied as Brian bit his hand. Nick pulled him outside where Brian looked furious.

"What the fuck are you doing? Trying to get me killed?" Nick shouted, shaking his hand. 

"You shouldn't lie to Lance, Nick. He needs to know that Celine isn't his." Brian spat at him. 

"I know what I am doing. I want the best for Celine..."

"So the best for your daughter is lying to her? She is going to grow up not knowing her father."

"Brian, if I tell Lance the truth he is going to divorce Amanda and then she won't have a family. I want her to have what I never did...a real family with a mom and a dad." Nick said, thinking of his childhood. 

"Nick, please. You are making a mistake here. You really want to do this and give up your rights to your daughter? Because in my opinion you are doing what your father did to you." Brian stated. He knew he couldn't talk Nick out of anything. Nick was a very stubborn person and once he had his mind set there was no changing it. Brian had grow up with Nick, knew how much he wanted a father. 

"My father walked out when I was five. Celine will never know I am her dad. Lance is so happy to be a father, do you really want to ruin that for him?" Nick answered, his hands in his pockets. 

"I still say you are wrong."

"Bri, Lance will be a better dad than me. Amanda loves him....I can't ruin their marriage." Nick said. This lie sounded so good he even believed it himself. Nick knew he could be a great dad, take care of the baby and raise her better than his own mother had raised himself.

"You are going to regret this." Brian said as he walked away, leaving Nick to his thoughts. A while later Nick had to go to Amanda's room to sign the papers for Celine.

"Put Lance as the father." he said, his eyes not meeting hers. 

"Nick....are you sure? You are her father." Amanda replied softly. 

"It will be better for all of us this way."  
"Nick..."

"Amanda, please."

"Nick, you are giving up your rights to her, you realize this?"

"Its okay." Nick said, not letting her see the years forming in his eyes. Amanda wrote Lance on the paper and everything was done. Nick left the room and went to see his daughter, then rested his head on the window, looking down at her. 

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry." he whispered as he wiped his eyes. Brian appeared behind him, the two of them hugged and walked through the hospital doors and into the night.


	14. Chapter 14

Nick really loved to perform, it was one of the few things he knew he could do well. He knew how to work the crowd and keep their attention during his nightly sets at Amanda's nightclub. He was often asked why he didn't tour. He had a few hit albums, and was well known...but Nick didn't want to be away from Amanda and his friends. He had toured in the beginning of his career, but now was content on playing at the same venue every night. Nick's routine usually consisted of him waking up at 7 in the morning, taking a hot shower....getting dressed, making breakfast for himself and AJ, then cleaning the house most of the morning. When 2 in the afternoon rolled around, Nick was already on his way to the club for band practice. Amanda was always there to make sure it went perfect. Nick liked this about her the most, she was a perfectionist like him. She would often tell him where he should stand or what to do during the song. He always valued her input and used a lot of her ideas. Amanda was not happy when Katie  
started to show up at his practices. She acted like one of his fans, drooling over him from across the room. After Nick was done singing, she would be all over him in front of everyone, pawing at him.

 

"Katie, not here." Nick said as she grabbed his ass one day during practice. 

"Of course not here, silly boy. We can continue back at your place." she stated, batting her long eyelashes. Nick rolled his eyes at her and told her to be quiet while he rehearsed. He didn't like her doing this, showing off in front of Amanda simply to make her angry. Nick knew that was her gameplan. He saw Katie act affectionate only when people were watching and had grown weary of her. Then again, a lot about Katie was starting to catch his eye and raise questions. After practice, Nick was about to talk to Amanda but Katie wheeled him towards the door. 

"I'll see you later!" Nick called out. Amanda shook her head at them and went to pick up Celine from Brian's house. Lance was working and Brian took her for the afternoon. 

"Thanks so much, Bri." Amanda said. Brian noticed she looked down and asked her what was wrong. 

"Katie showed up again?" he asked. Amanda scoffed as Celine rested her head on her shoulder. 

"Yeah. The third time this week. She is a pain in the ass." she said bitterly.

"Doesn't Nick do anything? He knows she bothers you."

"She is too busy making out with him between songs."

"I don't think she is right for him." Brian said thoughtfully. Amanda agreed with him. She had known Katie since high school. Katie liked musicians and when she found out Amanda was friends with Nick Carter she practically insisted on meeting him.

"Katie is up to something....Nick just doesn't see it. It's not my problem anyway, let him make his own mistake."

"You are jealous!" Brian smirked. 

"the hell I am." Amanda snapped a little too quickly. 

"I knew it!" 

"Get a life, Brian. I am taking my daughter home." Amanda said before leaving and walking across the street. She knew Brian was right. Amanda didn't want Katie with Nick, but there was no chance for her to be with him if she was in the picture. She often wondered what kind of boyfriend Nick would be. That night Nick showed up at his set looking tired and stressed. Amanda saw AJ and asked him what was going on. 

"They had a fight right before he came here. Nick told her she couldn't come to practice anymore and to cool it when they were in public, and she wasn't happy." AJ explained. 

"That bitch." Amanda said as Katie walked in wearing the shortest dress she had ever seen and thigh high boots.

"I think she forgot the rest of the dress at home," AJ commented, and Amanda laughed. 

"Come on, you know you like that." she teased. 

"That is what is called looky no touchy. I will look but never will I touch that." AJ replied with a grin. Just then Nick walked over, clearly avoiding Katie.

"Can you kick her out or something?" he asked, running a hand through his hair. He looked around to make sure his girlfriend was nowhere in sight. 

"Awww little Nicky can't handle a girl?" AJ teased, hitting him playfully. 

"No, I just don't want her here." 

"There's my little rockstar! I been looking all over for you!" Katie squealed, running over with her blonde hair bouncing behind her. Nick out on the fakest smile his friends had ever seen and kissed her on the cheek. 

"I gotta go set up." he muttered before taking off. Katie watched him leave then stood glaring at Amanda. 

"You better stay away from him if you know what's good for you." she snapped coldly. Amanda laughed at her.

"Not a chance."

"Well, I will make sure that you do." Katie threatened before storming away, her heels clicking as she left. Amanda watched her and couldn't help but wonder what she had meant by that.


	15. Chapter 15

It had been three months since Celine was born. Amanda was now juggling the baby and running her nightclub, the Blue Banana. She loved the nightclub and had owned it for a few years. The place was one of the most popular clubs in Miami. Amanda knew it was because of Nick. He brought in a lot of business the nights he performed there. It was amazing how Nick's career had taken off. She remembered the day she found out he could sing and he eventually had gotten a record deal. He could perform anywhere he wanted, but he always came to her club. She was fine with that, she could see him every night. Amanda and Lance were getting along great, he was so happy to be a father and had taken to the role almost immediately. He was very attentive to the baby and helped out whenever he could. 

"Amanda, are you ever going to tell him?" Brian asked one day as he finished babysitting for her. Amanda rolled her eyes at him. Brian didn't agree with how they were keeping the results of the paternity test from Lance. He had tried a few times to tell him, and Amanda warned him to back off.

"Enough. We are done discussing that. Lance is better off not knowing." she reasoned. 

"Nick is making a mistake, you both are." Brian said again, his eyes watchful. 

"Please don't tell him. No need to make my life anymore complicated than it is." Amanda replied, taking the baby from him. Brian was an excellant babysitter and Celine took to him almost at once, she was well behaved and didn't cry too much, which Brian liked.

"Don't worry, I won't." Brian promised. As the days went by, Amanda was happy that she didn't have to deal with Katie too much. She often saw her on the tabloids in the supermarket, along with Nick on the cover. Katie loved the attention she got from dating him and enjoyed every minute of it. AJ had told her that she had moved into the house. 

"Is he crazy?" Amanda asked when she found out the news.

"She already started taking over. This morning she took away his video games." AJ commented with a chuckle.

"I bet he isn't too happy about that." 

"Nope, he is furious. She said he is too old for them and it is juvenile for games to be laying around his bedroom,"

"What a bitch." Amanda said. She could hear yelling in the background. 

"Something going on over there?"

"Dear God, she is trying to kick out Joey." AJ responded after a moment. They heard Joey begging to stay and Katie telling him to get out. Nick came in and said it was all right and to go back to his room. 

"What happened?"

"Its all right now, Nick just told her off,"

"Katie has issues.....I don't know how Nick puts up with her." Amanda said. AJ told her that the two were fighting more that Katie had moved in and taken over the house. The next day, Nick came to rehearsals looking stressed again. 

"Nick, you all right?" Amanda asked, as he sat down on the stage and sighed. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. 

"Yeah, I'm fine.....just got a lot on my mind." he replied. Amanda sat next to him and offered him a drink. 

"Katie giving you a hard time, is she?"

"Things aren't working out like I want them to, ya know? She is a completely different person than when I first met her," he said in frustration.

"Sorry to hear that,"

"Its not your fault. I've been dumb....maybe I should just give up on finding love. I'm not meant to be happy."

"Of course you are, Nick. There is someone for you....it just takes a while to find them." Amanda told him. She wanted to tell him she loved him right then but it wouldn't change anything. She was married and Nick was in a relationship, it wouldn't work out. 

"I'm sorry, I just wish things would work with Katie. I like her, its just she doesn't act like she likes me. Katie only wants me for my money." Nick replied thoughtfully. 

"Things always have a way of working themselves out. Now let's start this rehearsal so Brian doesn't kill me for being late picking up Celine." Amanda said, getting up and waving Nick to the stage. He did amazing as usual, but there was something different, like a spark in Nick was missing. 

"Nick, don't forget we are closed on Thanksgiving, you don't have a gig that night." Amanda reminded him after practice. 

"That's good. I have to cook anyway. Looks like it will just be me, Katie and AJ. Joey is visiting his parents." Nick said. 

"Sounds like a quiet night for you." 

"Its about time. I could use a stress free night for once." Nick laughed. As he drove home, he couldn't help but think this holiday wasn't going to be peaceful at all.


	16. Chapter 16

"Don't touch that, AJ. Its for after dinner," Nick said as he caught AJ eyeing the apple pie he had taken out of the oven before. Nick had been cooking since eight that morning. 

"Come on, Nick...it smells so good..." AJ whined as he watched the turkey come out of the oven. Nick loved Thanksgiving and enjoyed cooking, but he wished that Katie had helped out instead of emptying a half bottle of wine. Nick knew she was testing him so he ignored her and AJ helped him out. Between the two of them, they managed to have dinner finished by two that afternoon. The three of them sat down at the table. 

"Dinner looks great," Katie commented as they dug in. Nick carved the turkey and they began to eat. Everything was delicious, Nick had gone all out. 

"Damn, Nick..did you get a big enough bird this year? We will be eating this thing for weeks."

"Not to worry, Joey will have no problem helping to eat the leftovers," Nick laughed. Dinner was going smoothly, and the three of them were talking about past holidays, laughing and joking around. Nick loved Katie when she was like this, liked her sense of humor when she had one. 

"Can you get the door, Jay? I have to get the potatoes." Nick said as the doorbell rang. AJ went to the door and a small boy stood there. He was skinny with a mop of blonde hair and brown eyes, bruises on his arm. 

"Nick, there is a kid at the door," AJ said. Nick came to the door, then stopped in his tracks as he laid eyes on the boy. 

"Are you Nick?" the boy said. Nick thought he was looking at himself as a child. 

"Yes, do I know you?" Nick stammered. He closed the door and walked out on the porch.

"I'm Aaron, your brother." the boy replied with a smile. Nick didn't know how to react. He had never known about having a brother in his life, he hadn't talked to his mother since he was 18. Aaron looked like he was about eleven, with bruises on his arms and face.   
"My....my brother?" Nick stammered, looking at him. 

"You're on this paper." Aaron replied, holding up a letter. Nick read it, it was from when he had placed a restraining order on his mom. 

"Mom never told me about you. How did you get here..." 

"I ran away." Aaron said tearfully, and Nick put his arms around him.

"Are you hungry? You lool like you could use something to eat." he said. Aaron nodded and wiped his eyes as Nick led him inside. 

"Who the fuck is that?" Katie demanded as Nick walked into the dining room with Aaron trailing behind.

"This is my brother, Aaron. He is joining us for dinner." Nick explained, pulling out an extra chair. Katie looked at the boy with deep disgust. 

"Why? His mother didn't want him?" Katie said and Aaron's eyes filled with tears. 

"Don't listen to her, Aaron. You can sit here, I will get you a plate." Nick told him. Katie sat across from Aaron, shooting him a dirty look. 

"I didn't know you had a brother, Nick." AJ said as he ate more stuffing.

"How do you know he is related to you?" Katie yelled, her eyes threatening. 

"Stop it Katie. Its Thanksgiving." Nick stated as he gave Aaron a plate of food and smiled at him as he began eating.

"Thank you!" Aaron said, his mouth of turkey. 

"Can't you call someone to pick him up?"

"No, he is staying, whether you like it or not. If you don't like it you can leave." Nick said coldly. Katie stood up and started cursing at him. 

"Katie, don't do this in front of him."

"Until ten minutes ago you didn't know you had a brother! How do you know he isn't lying?" she screamed.

"Like I said, if you don't like it you can leave." Nick repeated, and he continued eating. Katie growled and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her. 

"Lock the door, AJ." Nick said, sighing. AJ laughed. 

"With pleasure!" he grinned as he went to the door. A street over, Amanda and Lance were enjoying a quiet dinner when there was a knock at the door. They both looked at each other and didn't move at first. 

"I have a bad feeling, don't answer that," Lance said as his wife went to the door. She found Katie standing there crying, tears running down her face. 

"What do you want?"

"Nick threw me out!" she wailed. Amanda couldn't help feel sorry for her so she let her in, after all it was Thanksgiving.


	17. Chapter 17

"What do you mean Nick threw you out?" Amanda asked as they sat back down to dinner. Katie wiped her eyes, smearing her eyeliner and mascara. She sniffled as more tears surfaced. 

"He told me to get out." she replied in a defeated tone. 

"Why?"

"How the hell should I know? Nick is being an asshole. He didn't even give me a chance to say anything, he told me to do him a favor and leave!" she wailed. Amanda and Lance exchanged glances before they started eating again. Katie was so grateful that she helped them clean up the table and dishes. After dessert she went on about how awful Nick was to her, which Amanda knew was a lie, but still felt bad for her. She walked over pt Nick's house and saw his door was indeed locked as Katie had said, which made Amanda feel angrier. After she rang the bell a few times, Nick emerged wearing an apron. 

"Happy Thanksgiving!" he said, but as soon as he saw the look on her face, the grin slid away quickly. He came out onto the porch and Amanda stared him down. 

"What is wrong with you, throwing her out on Thanksgiving?!" she snapped at him. 

"She was cursing me out..."  
"I don't want your excuses. That girlfriend of yours is sitting at my house crying and ruining my dinner." 

"Look, I didn't throw her out....she left on her own." Nick explained. Amanda yelled at him again, not listening to a word he said. 

"Amanda....chill. Katie got pissy because we had an extra guest for dinner and she didn't like it." Nick told her, looking her in the eye. 

"She told me you threw her out," Amanda began, but he cut her off.   
"That's not what happened. She was having a tantrum so I told her if you don't like it, you can leave. She stormed out and left," Nick replied. Amanda looked at him and could tell he was sincere so she apologized for yelling.

"Okay, well can you come over and get your girlfriend out of my house?" Amanda laughed. Nick opened the door and called to AJ, who was sitting on the couch watching football. 

"Jay, I am going over to Amanda's to check on Katie. Start the dishes for me," he said. 

"Come on..can't it wait, there is a game on." AJ whined. 

"If you don't wash them right away they get all crusty and then its impossible to clean them. Just start soaking them for me and keep an eye on things." Nick said. 

"What about the kid?"

"He is taking a nap, just keep an eye on him while I am gone," Nick said before walking down the street with Amanda. 

"She didn't give you much trouble did she?"

"No, she actually helped clean up. Nick, why do you put yourself in these situations? Katie is rude and obnoxious, you deserve better." Amanda told him. Nick looked down at his feet and mumbled to himself. 

"Impressive. She didn't lift a finger to help me with dinner at all. AJ and I cooked." Nick explained, raising an eyebrow. 

"That sucks."

"Its ok, I am used to it. Cooking, cleaning." Nick told her. Once they got to the house they saw Katie sitting with Lance, crying once more. When she saw Nick in the doorway she squealed and ran to him, throwing her arms over his shoulders. She kissed him on the cheek and touched his hair. Amanda saw Nick roll his eyes then put on a fake smile for her. 

"Let's go home, honey." he said sweetly. 

"Oh, baby, I am so sorry. Let's never fight again!" Katie said when she released her boyfriend. Nick and her left and Amanda closed the door, sighing. 

"What a drama queen!" Lance commented and all Amanda could do was laugh. 

"She is something else isn't she?" he added, walking back into the kitchen. 

"That she is."

"I feel sorry for Nick, he has to go home with her. While you were gone she kept saying Nick was an asshole and how she didn't need him,"

"Katie is up to something, I just wish Nick could see it." Amanda said. She reminded herself that Nick was not someone she needed to worry about, and she had her family...he had his.


	18. Chapter  18

Nick had only known his brother for two weeks but was loving him like family already. Aaron was just like him but had bundles of energy, Nick was amazed how he could just go and go without stopping. Aaron was a normal eleven year old boy, but Nick discovered he was malnourished after a visit to the doctor. This proved his theories that Aaron was abused before. On Aarons first night with him, he had discovered his brother had welts all over his back and legs. Dark bruises dotted his arms, neck and face. Having been a victim of child abuse himself, he knew what his brother went through. Aaron tearfully told him he found him through looking at an address book laying around their house, then running away from home. Nick took his brother in and soon he lived there in the house with him, AJ and Joey. Aaron seemed happiest with AJ, the two of them took to one another at once. 

"Aaron, when is your birthday?" Nick asked, one morning in the beginning of December. Aaron thought real hard and looked confused. 

"The day you were born?"

"Oh...December 7th." 

"We should celebrate it!" AJ said, ruffing his hair. Aaron swatted at him playfully.

"Why?" he asked suddenly. Nick sat down at the table next to him and gave him his lunch. 

"You've never had a birthday party before?" he asked. 

"Nope. Mom didn't really let me have ANY fun." Aaron said, his mouth full of peanut butter. Nick knew how his brother felt, when he was a kid special days like that were unheard of in the Carter house. If Nick mentioned it was his birthday, he was answered with a slap to the face. Nick decided to make sure that Aaron had the best birthday a kid could want. 

"Its settled. On Monday you are in charge, we will do anything you want, go anywhere you want and eat anything you want." Nick promised. Aaron looked like the happiest kid in the world as he thought of what he wanted to do.

"Can we go to the zoo? I've never been to one!" he begged, swallowing the rest of his sandwich.

"Yes, Nick...can we?" AJ chimed in.   
"You want to go to the zoo, Jay?" Nick laughed. 

"Its the kid's birthday, you said he could pick." 

"True. Okay, the zoo it is!" Nick told them. Aaron's birthday came and Nick woke him up early for their trip. He and AJ took Aaron to Orlando. It was an hour drive almost, but Nick kept them all occupied with the DVD player installed in his convertible. They watched Free Willy on the way to the zoo and Sea World. Nick bought them tickets to see Shamu because Aaron begged him and AJ encouraged him by talking about Free Willy. 

"Let's sit here," AJ said as they looked for some good seats.

"The front? Are you sure that's a good idea?" Nick asked skeptically. 

"Trust me, its awesome!" AJ called, and they all took seats near the front of the tank. Nick was having almost as much fun as his brother until they got splashed by the whale at the end of the show. 

"Did you know that was going to happen, Jay?" Nick said exasperatedly, wringing out his wet football jersey. AJ cackled and Aaron giggled. 

"Maybe," AJ said sheepishly.

"I hate you." Nick pouted. 

"I like the sound my shoes make!" Aaron said as he made squeaking sounds walking across the sidewalk. 

"Well, at least we will get dry walking in the zoo." Nick thought as they went to the zoo downtown.

"Can I have pizza?" Aaron said, after AJ had won him a stuffed frog.

"With extra cheese even."

"You are the coolest big brother in the world." Aaron said, and Nick hugged him before going to get their food. After lunch they went to the reptile house where they saw a 12 foot boa constrictor.

"Nick, I want one of these!" AJ commented. Nick didn't like snakes or anything scaly for that matter. 

"You bring one of those things home and I will kill you!" he shuddered as Aaron laughed. 

"Nicky doesn't like snakes?" 

"Heck no. ooh, they give me the creeps." Nick told them. They spent the afternoon out and came home tired with their feet aching. Nick had made a cake with candles and brought it for Aaron, who had a smile from ear to ear.

"Make a wish," Nick said. Aaron looked at the two men and realized there was nothing more he wanted than to live here forever, so that was his wish...to be able to stay with his brother forever. 

"What did you wish for?" AJ asked with a grin after the candles were blown out.

"I think I got my wish already." Aaron said, still grinning as Nick cut the birthday cake. It had been a perfect day after all.


	19. Chapter 19

Amanda was at the nightclub waiting for Nick to show up for rehearsal. He was going on about fifteen minutes late so she wasn't too mad. While she waited for him, she talked to his band. He had a drummer named Skye, a pretty girl with blonde hair and bright magenta streaks. His keyboardist was Mike. He looked tough but was a really nice guy. The bass guitarist was Tommy, who looked a bit like AJ but had more tattoos. Nick had chosen his band himself, had held an audition for them. Amanda got along well with Skye and was joking around with her while waiting. 

"I see Mister Carter is late again. We are taking bets on when he will show up, ya want in?" she laughed. 

"Nick will be here soon, I am sure." Amanda said as the door opened and Nick walked in. He was walking slowly for some reason, as if he were dizzy and had large sunglases over his eyes. Skye and Tommy were laughing as Nick ambled towards the stage, putting down his guitar case.

"What is with the eyewear, Carter?" Skye asked with a grin. 

"Nick, I know you think you are a rockstar but take the glasses off. You look ridiculous." Amanda said. 

"They aren't bothering anyone, I am leaving them on." Nick remarked in a choppy voice. He sounded like he was or had been upset. Nick was acting strangely as he took his guitar out and began to tune it. 

"Come on, take em off." Amanda insisted, reaching towards his face. As her hand neared it, Nick's hand shot up towards his eye and held onto the sunglasses. She noticed his face was a little swollen around his right eye. 

"Take the glases off, Nick. What are you hiding?" she asked. Finally defeated, Nick sighed. 

"Promise you won't laugh?" he whispered sheepishly.

"Did AJ shave off your eyebrows or something?" Amanda joked, but when Nick took off the glases she could only cringe. 

"Holy shit!!" Mike whistled. Nick's eye was so bruised he could barely open it. He had a black eye that looked extremely painful. Nick went to put the glasses back on but Amanda took them from him. 

"That looks awful." she said. 

"AJ told me it wasn't that bad," Nick said, pouting.

"I can't go out like this...if someone sees me and the press finds out, they will have a field day." Nick sobbed, his head in his hands a few moments later. Amanda smiled, an idea forming in her head. 

"Start rehearsing, I will be back in a few." she told him. Amanda came back a while later with some makeup. 

"What is that stuff?" Nick asked. Amanda sat him down and went near his face with her hand. 

"Don't touch it!" he squealed, his hand covering his face. 

"I have to touch it, Nick. This is coverup for your eye, it will make the bruise go away." 

"Ow!"

"I didn't do anything yet! Stop being a baby, and don't move." Amanda instructed. She dabbed the applicator into the makeup and gently applied it to Nick's face. It took her a few minutes but she was finally done and held up a mirror so he could look. 

"Wow, its like it was never there! You girls are onto something!" Nick exclaimed, a grin spread across his face. 

"That is the power of makeup." Amanda said. 

"So what do YOU look like under there?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow as Amanda hit him playfully. She tried to ask him what happened but he wouldn't tell her, so she called AJ. 

"AJ, was there a fight over there this morning?"

"Did Nick come in with a bruise? Cause I told him it didn't look too bad. It got worse didn't it?"

"Yeah, where the hell did that come from?"

"Katie is trying to get rid of Aaron. She says Nick doesn't know if he really is his brother and insists that Nick send him to an orphanage. Naturally, Nick told her to fuck off. Katie punched him so hard he was knocked out cold and I had to wake him up so he could go to rehearsal. That's why he was late," AJ told her. 

"I can't believe her."

"Well, Nick told Katie that he had the DNA test done and Aaron really is his brother. You know his birthday was yesterday?" 

"Really? That's great!"

"Yeah, we took him to the zoo and Sea World. Aaron was so happy. I really love that kid." AJ said. 

"Nick is a good brother for sticking up for him like that." Amanda said, smiling. She felt really proud of Nick for standing up to Katie because he had a long history of letting women walk all over him. Ever since he was a child, Nick tended to be afraid of women.

"Nick just got home so I gotta run." AJ said after they had been talking awhile. 

"Okay, no problem." Amanda said before hanging up. She sat in her office at the nightclub thinking, wishing she could help Nick or at least beat Katie senseless.


	20. Chapter  20

AJ came home from work and kicked off his boots before going over to the glass tank on his nightstand. There should have been a boa constrictor in the tank but it was empty. He cursed under his breath and threw the cover of the tank on the floor before running upstairs. 

"Aaron, did you see a snake anywhere in the house?" he asked casually. The boy shrugged his shoulders as he was engrossed in a game of Guitar Hero. 

"Crap."

"AJ, does Nick know about the snake?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the television. 

"Not exactly. Now help me find the damn thing before he gets home." AJ shouted as he walked into the kitchen, tearing everything apart. He knew Nick would not be happy about the mess but he was more worried what would happen if Nick discovered the snake. When they had taken Aaron to the zoo, Nick had said he was afraid of snakes, and even though AJ knew this, he still bought the reptile and hid it in his room downstairs. It had worked out well so far, but somehow the snake had gotten loose. AJ and Aaron spent a good amount of time looking for it, turning the house upside down. AJ panicked when he noticed it was 2pm, when Nick was finishing rehearsal at the nightclub. Thinking quickly he took out his phone and called Amanda. 

"There is a situation at home and I need you to stall Nick so he doesn't come home," he begged. Amanda was watching Nick perform at the time and had no idea what was going on. 

"How am I going to-" Amanda started but AJ cut her off by hanging up. Amanda saw Nick getting off the stage and quickly thought of an excuse. 

"Nick, how about we do a few more songs, maybe change the lineup tonight?" she said, and Nick gave her a funny look. 

"The lineup is fine the way it is, and I got to get home to start dinner." Nick protested as he put away his guitar. He turned towards the door but Amanda stood in his way. 

"Wow, its almost like you don't want me to leave or something," he observed with a chuckle.

"I wish I could spend more time with you, that's all." Amanda said, turning on her charm. Nick seemed interested enough because he set down his guitar case and hung out for an extra hour, him and Amanda talking. 

"Okay, I really need to go though." Nick said suddenly, noticing the time. Amanda knew AJ told her to stall as long as possible. 

"Nick, AJ said he was taking care of it." she told him without thinking. Nick burst out laughing and wiped a tear from his eye. 

"That's a good one! Now I really need to run home before AJ lights my house on fire!" he exclaimed. Amanda threw up her hands in defeat while Nick walked to his convertible parked outside. Once he got home Nick's mouth dropped open at the state the house was in. It looked as if an earthquake had hit, and he saw Aaron looking under the living room couch. 

"AARON!!!!" Nick shouted, causing his brother to jump in suprise. Aaron's brown eyes went wide as they fell upon an angry looking Nick standing in the trashed living room. 

"Hey..." he said, smiling weakly. 

"Aaron, why is the house a mess?" Nick demanded, the anger in him rising quickly.

"Um...I was helping AJ?" 

"JAY! Get in here!" Nick shouted. AJ slowly walked into the room, disappointed that Nick was home. He had searched the house and not found the snake at all, now that Nick was home he knew it would be trouble. 

"Nick, I will help clean up the mess, we both will do it while you cook." AJ replied. Nick seemed satisfied as he walked into the kitchen to get dinner started. AJ and Aaron cleaned up the living room then Aaron helped set the table.

"I don't even want to know why the house was a mess, Jay. The important thing is that it is clean now, and we can move on." Nick began as he was headed for the cabinet. When he opened the door, AJ's eyes went wide as a snake's head poked out an inch from Nick's hair. AJ waved frantically to Aaron, but the boy was not paying attention. 

"So do you guys want steak tonight?" Nick asked but his last words were overtaken by a high pitched scream. Nick was panicking at the sight of the large snake in his spice cabinet. 

"I found it!" Aaron said happily as his brother screamed bloody murder again. 

"WHAT IS THAT DOING IN MY HOUSE?!?!" Nick hollered, rounding on AJ. 

"I'm sorry! She isn't hurting anybody!" AJ said. 

"Get it out of here!"

"But....."

"NOW!!" 

"All right....." AJ said. He was sad to see his new pet go but was more than happy to keep his room instead. Nick ended up liking the snake after all, because one day the snake was loose again and it happened to go into Katie's shower.

"You know, I think this is the start of a beautiful relationship." Nick smiled as he took the reptile back to AJ's room, smiling as he went.


	21. Chapter 21

Amanda had a trying day at the club that morning. Nick had come in with a bad attitude.....he was crabby and irritable, snapping at the band. Amanda was shocked.....but he had been like this since Thanksgiving. Frustrated, Amanda went home with a headache the size of Texas and wanting nothing more than to take a nap. However, when she got home she saw a note on the front door to follow the roses. Amanda smiled and looked down, a trail of rose petals led down the hallway to the bathroom. When she opened the door to the bathroom, Lance stood there with two glasses of champagne and a warm bath for her. The room was filled with candlelight. After getting undressed, Amanda got into the warm water and sighed as her husband gave her a glass of champagne. The two of them talked for a while and then he gave her a massage. As he gently rubbed her shoulders, his fingers moving in a circular motion against her wet skin, he kissed her neck gently. 

"You are so tense, Amanda." he commented softly as the steam rose from the water around them. 

"Well, rehearsal didn't go well today..." she explained. This was just what she needed after the day she had. Amanda loved Lance for his massages, he knew just where she needed it most, and was gentle. He moved to her back as she continued about her day. The way it sounded was that Nick has been wearing down on her and she was becoming more frustrated with him. Lance secretly was happy to hear this news. He did not like Nick, it was no surprise he had a strong dislike towards the singer. The two had been rivals ever since high school.   
"That's not good at all, honey. You shouldn't have to deal with all that." Lance told her as his lips moved to her cheek, his hands on her lower back.

"Ever since he started dating Katie he has been so moody...one day he is fine and the next..." Amanda said, sighing as she drank the last of her second glass. She was beginning to feel like Nick was drifting away and she was losing him...there was nothing she could do to stop it. 

"Haven't you considered finding someone else to play at your club? From what you are telling me, you don't need the aggravation." Lance suggested when they were on their fourth glass of champagne. Amanda started to think about what her husband had said.....the possibility of firing Nick had never crossed her mind. She knew he could easily find somewhere to perform, he was so talented. She was surprised that Lance was being so sweet because he usually didn't do things like this for her. Lance moved on to her feet next, his hands caressing them slowly. 

"Who are you and what have you done with my husband?" Amanda giggled, his fingertips grazing her toes. 

"I just thought you could use a stress free night....you been so agitated lately." he whispered. 

"Nick is becoming a problem with his attitude." 

"I feel bad for him in a way," Lance said suddenly, causing Amanda to raise an eyebrow. It was a rare occasion for Lance to feel compassion for anyone but him or her. 

"Why is that?" she asked, drinking from her glass again. 

"Because he is famous....he gets people that take advantage of him for being a nice guy. I honestly think Katie is only with him for his money." Lance stated. 

"Katie is a gold digger. I didn't know she was going to treat him like this....." 

"It's not your fault baby."   
Lance whispered. The two of them began kissing passionately, his arms wrapped around her. Amanda moaned with pleasure and they made love right in the bathtub. The two of them moved to the bedroom after that and cuddled before finally falling asleep next to each other. Amanda finally woke up around midnight and realised that she had forgotten to go to the club.

"I am so lucky to have you and Celine." lance whispered with a smile. 

"Where is she anyway?" 

"Brian has her...I wanted you to relax tonight."

"Oh shit.....its midnight!" Amanda exclaimed as she looked at the time again. She grabbed her phone and saw there were 10 missed calls on it, and five text messages from Nick. Two of the voice mails were from the club, two were from Nick and one was from AJ, all asking if she was all right. Amanda called to let them know she was all right, had some more champagne and fell asleep on Lance's shoulder. But before she did, she thought of Nick and how she would have a talk with him in the morning. She didn't know how she would tell him....but Nick needed to improve or she was going to replace him.


	22. Chapter 22

As Nick walked up the steps of Amanda's house he was hoping she would talk to him. He had just gotten done with yet another day of court. He was in the middle of a big case and it had been wearing down on him since Thanksgiving. Nick knew he had been a jerk at rehearsal the day before and wanted to make amends, so he decided after court to visit Amanda and explain everything. Sighing deeply as he rang her doorbell, Nick waited patiently for her to answer. When Amanda came to the door she was suprised to find Nick standing there wearing a suit and tie. 

"Amanda, can I talk to you?" he asked tentatively. Amanda was a bit unsure but let him into the house. Lance was not home, he was at work so they would not be bothered. The two of them sat down on the couch and Nick sighed before speaking. 

"Nice suit, Nick..." Amanda commented. He was very well dressed and his hair was slicked back with hair gel. Nick loosened his tie and continued. 

"Look, I am sorry for the way I acted yesterday." he said. Amanda looked down for a moment, and knew where this conversation was going. She had been wanting to talk to Nick about his attitude lately and now was her chance. 

"Nick...there is no excuse for your attitude. If you keep this up there are going to be some changes around here." she said sternly. Nick's face paled and his breathing grew faster. 

"Wha-what do you mean?" he stuttered. 

"If your demeanor doesn't change I will have to look for another performer." 

"No...please!" Nick begged, his eyes shining. 

"I'm sorry, but you have been coming in grumpy every day and I can't let this continue. If you and Katie are having problems-" Amanda started but Nick interrupted her. 

"This has nothing to do with Katie!!" he shouted in frustration. Nick really wanted to pull his own hair out....he didn't need to get fired on top of everything else that was happening to him already.

"What is your problem then, Nick?" Amanda asked, her brown eyes annoyed. 

"Amanda....please. I am going through a lot right now. I am sorry if I have been moody or irritable, but its because I may lose my brother." Nick explained finally. Amanda's expresssion softened and she looked at him with concern. 

"Really? Why?" she asked. Nick wiped his eyes. 

"I am in the middle of a custody battle for Aaron." he replied, sighing deeply. 

"Wow, Nick. I am sorry. I had no idea." 

"I can't lose him....he is all the family I have. I promised him he wouldn't go back to her..."

"Why would you lose Aaron?" Amanda asked. 

"Because of my mother. She is trying to say because of my career I am not going to provide a stable environment for my brother." 

"Why don't you take AJ to court with you? He can help prove you are able to take care of your brother." 

Amanda suggested. Nick was scared to death about this court trial, as of the moment it was not looking good at all. 

"My lawyer is saying right now my chances are not good and I may lose the case. So I am sorry if I been cranky lately." 

"Nick, I think maybe you need to take a break and stop performing for a while until this is all over. You need to focus on your family." 

"Oh, thank you!" Nick said, hugging her. His thoughts drifted to the club and his gig. 

"Don't worry, you will still have your job. But I wish you had told me sooner about this." Amanda promised. She never understood why Nick liked to keep things like that private.....he hadn't even told Brian about the court trials.

"I will find someone to take over okay?" Nick promised. He watched Celine for Amanda and then called in a favor to JC Chasez. JC was an old friend of Nick's from when he started his career and toured with him in Germany. Amanda was thrilled to have him perform for her club and was a big fan of his. After he got everything worked out with Amanda, she went to pick up her daughter at Nick's house. He looked very tired and had a towel over his shoulder, and the baby in his arms. 

"You okay?" Amanda giggled. It was the first time Nick had watched his daughter on his own.

"Yeah.....I have learned that babies do not have an off button." he grinned as Amanda laughed. 

"Isn't as easy as it looks," Amanda chuckled. Nick handed Celine over but didn't want her to go. He really did love his daughter...he didn't see her much and when he had to say goodbye his heart broke. Nick kissed his daughter on the forehead and stroked her hair. 

"So I take it she didn't give you too much trouble?" 

"Not really.....thanks again for being so understanding about the trial. It should be done by Christmas." Nick said. Amanda hoped everything would work out. She had seen Nick grow attatched to his little brother and knew it would kill him if he lost him to his mother. 

Amanda had been there for Nick when he was abused as a child. Nick would come to school with welts on his arms and bruises on his neck. She knew Nick would never let Aaron go through that again, and hoped everything would work out....her own life included.


	23. Chapter 23

Lance walked out of the office building in Midtown Manhattan and was met with biting cold and snow. It was flurrying and windy outside as he walked away from the building on 5th Avenue. He didn't really like New York or the fact he was away from his family for Christmas, but he had to be at this conference for his company and there was no way around it. It was two days before Christmas and the stores nearby were packed with shoppers buying last minute gifts. Lance walked towards his hotel and heard a voice calling his name. Folding his coat closed, he looked up to see Katie running towards him, her heeled shoes clicking upon the sidewalk and the many shopping bags rustled in her hands. She looked pretty, her hair tied in the back and wearing a long fur coat. 

"Fancy meeting you here.* she smiled sweetly, batting her eye lashes. Lance didn't have any desire to speak to her but continued the conversation. 

"Yes, I am here on a business trip." he answered, shivering. Lance wasn't used to the cold of New York City....he would much rather be in sunny Florida and have no snow.

"Oh, you look cold....care for a drink and some lunch?" Katie asked brightly. A taxi ride later, they sat in a restaurant talking over drinks. 

"So why are you in New York, Katie? Running away from Nick?" Lance laughed. 

"I happen to have family here in New Jersey. So I am visiting them for Christmas. I took the train in to do some shopping." she explained, sipping her cocktail. 

"That's nice." Lance said, letting the words trail off. He kept thinking of Amanda being in Florida...without him. He wished he could hop on a plane and go home, but it wasn't that easy. 

"How is your daughter?" Katie asked suddenly, her brown eyes not meeting his. 

"Oh, she is about 6 months now....Celine is a beautiful girl." Lance commented, grinning. He loved to brag about his daughter and told everyone how proud he was to be a father. 

"She doesn't look like you....don't you find that odd?" 

"What are you getting at, Katie?" Lance asked, his face uncertain. He knew deep down something was a little off about his daughter, but had dismissed it. 

"She has blonde hair..." Katie stated, a grin playing at her lips. 

"Okay, I have blonde hair too."

"Blue eyes?" Katie interrupted. Lance felt his temper rising as she spoke, but knew she was right.   
How could his daughter have blue eyes? His were green and Amanda's were brown. 

"Katie, how could Celine not be mine? Because I know that is what you are getting at." Lance said angrily. 

"Think about it, she is nearly 6 months old....what happened 15 months ago?" Katie asked sweetly. She took great pleasure in blabbing this secret. She knew Lance would get angry. 

"Amanda....went to.....Aruba." Lance muttered softly as it clicked in his mind. He placed a hand over his mouth as he finally realized. 

"Oh. My. God."

"Your daughter's middle name is Nicole, isn't it?" Katie continued as she ate her chicken. Lance was filled with disgust and rage at Amanda. He couldn't believe she had been lying to him about their daughter. Well, her daughter. Lance decided it wasn't his child....Nick was the father,,,there was no mistaking the resemblance. Celine looked like her father, had his eyes and lips. 

"That bastard." Lance whispered as he pounded the table with his fist. Katie giggled slightly and sipped at her drink. 

"Well, it seems we have a predicament on our hands." she whispered softly. 

"Okay, well I need to get rid of Nick. Could you help me do that?" Lance asked. Katie grinned and leaned closer to him. 

"The only way Nick will stay away from your wife is if I marry him." 

"How will you get him to marry you?" Lance asked skeptically. 

"There is an event in Las Vegas on New Year's that Nick got invited to. If I can get him to Vegas it will be easier for me to marry him." Katie replied. Nick had told her a few days ago about being invited to perform in Las Vegas for a TV special but didn't want to go because it was the first New Years Eve with Aaron there. Katie had a deep hatred for Aaron because Nick seemed to plan everything around him and did not include her. 

"Okay, but I don't think marrying him will be so easy." Lance pointed out. He knew for a fact that Nick had been planning on dumping Katie for a while but had not gotten an opportunity to do so. 

"That's what drugs and alcohol are for. I get him trashed enough, he will do whatever I want him to." 

"But won't Nick still see her at work?" Lance said. 

"Well maybe I can get him fired. If he parties too much it will affect his performance. If his performance is poor she will fire him." Katie said. She didn't want Nick around Amanda any more than Lance did and was glad she could twist Lance into helping her get Nick to herself. 

"Well, getting Nick fired shouldn't be too hard, I already planted that idea in Amanda's head." Lance smiled, drinking his beer. He couldn't wait for the plan to be put into action, but at the same time he knew it would cause a lot of problems in the end. His thoughts drifted to Amanda once more and remembered she was home alone for Christmas. He knew she would be with Nick....knew they would be together and it killed him.


	24. Chapter  24

Amanda walked up the porch steps of Nick's house and smiled at the Christmas decorations. Lights covered the roof, were around the wrap around deck, and each of the windows. It reminded her of the Griswalds house from the movie Christmas Vacation. Nick had gone all out decorating his house, had done it all for Aaron. It was Aaron's first real Christmas, with a tree and everything. Moving the baby closer to her, Amanda rang the doorbell and waited. She was at Nick's house because AJ had asked her to check on Nick. Amanda was alone for Christmas Eve too, as Lance was on his business trip in New York City. After waiting a while, the front door of Nick's house opened and Aaron stood there grinning. He wore an elf hat with a bell on the end and a red shirt. 

"Where is your brother?" she asked with a smile. She always did like Nick's little brother and he liked her just as much if not more. Aaron invited her in and she was met with an enormous Christmas tree in the living room by the staircase. Nick had it all decked out inside as well, garland on the staircase and the tree was full of ornaments and lights. 

"He is upstairs, hasn't come down for a while." Aaron said as he sat down on the couch in the living room. 

"Watch the baby for me while I go look for Nick , okay?" Amanda begged him, setting Celine down on the couch.

"Me? Watch her?" Aaron asked skeptically, his brown eyes wide. 

"Don't worry, she is sleeping. I will be right upstairs, so if she fusses come and get me." Amanda said before going upstairs to Nick's room. He had a large house and it took her a while to find his bedroom. She called for him and poked her head inside his bedroom. It was a large bedroom with a king sized bed and a large television.

"Nick?"

"Yeah...." his muffled voice came from behind a closed door. 

"Are you all right?" Amanda asked through the door.

"Yeah, come on in...door's open." Nick answered. Amanda was a little confused but went into the bathroom anyway. It was a big bathroom with a large tub.

"Nick, what in the-" Amanda said as she laid eyes on him. He was in the bathtub completely naked and the tub was full of bubbles. 

"You never saw someone take a bath before?" Nick said calmly as Amanda blushed profusely. Even though she had seen him without clothes previously, he still looked as gorgeous as ever. He flexed his arms and smiled, Amanda felt weak in the knees as he grinned. 

"I just wasn't expecting..." she stuttered with a giggle. Nick laughed too and they sat there talking for a while before Nick sat up. 

"Isn't this awkward, I mean..I am in the bathtub." Nick pointed out. Just then a thought occurred to him. 

"Where is Celine?" he asked. 

"Downstairs with Aaron." she explained. Nick jumped out of the tub and dried before putting on his pants. 

"You left her with my brother?" he asked exasperatedly as he rushed downstairs. 

"Nick! She is sleeping. I am sure he can handle her." Amanda whispered as they heard Celine cry from the living room. Nick was in daddy panic mode as he rushed to the living room, but when they got there Aaron was holding the baby and singing to her. He had a beautiful voice, and the baby seemed to like it, she was content. Nick stood there in shock, he had not known his brother could sing too. 

"Oh, Aaron. That was beautiful. You could be just like your brother someday." Amanda told him, and the boy blushed. 

"I wasn't that good....I was only trying to sing her to sleep." Aaron said as he rocked the baby girl in his arms.

"You could do it if you wanted too, Aaron." Nick smiled at him. 

"I don't wanna be famous....mom will find me." Aaron replied. 

"Aaron, you don't have to worry about that, you aren't going anywhere. Mom can't hurt you anymore." Nick promised him. Aaron smiled and after giving the baby to Amanda they hugged. After a while Nick made Aaron go to bed and then put on a Santa suit before going downstairs to put the gifts under the tree. Amanda laughed as she saw him...he had the red suit and everything but was missing something. 

"What's so funny?" he asked when he saw her, adjusting the hat on his head. 

"You look ridiculous..."

"This is for my brother if he should wake up." Nick explained while putting on the fake beard. He wasn't too crazy about the suit, it itched and was sweaty.

"Nick, Santa is supposed to be fat." Amanda commented. The red material hung loose on his thin frame, he had to keep holding up his pants. 

"Its only for a little bit....I doubt he will even see me." Nick said as he laughed and grabbed for his pants again. After he put the gifts under the tree he went back to his room and removed the clothes. 

"You do make a sexy Santa." Amanda said softly, looking him over. Nick laughed and the two of them looked into each other's eyes.....then began kissing. It didn't stop there, before they knew it they were making love on Nick's waterbed without a care in the world. Amanda ended up spending the night, with no regrets because nobody should be alone on Christmas Eve.


	25. Chapter 25

"NICK WAKE UP, ITS CHRISTMAS!!!!" Nick opened one eye and saw his brother jumping on his bed, still wearing his pajamas. Nick rubbed his eyes and sat up in bed, looking at Amanda laying nearby. She stirred, looking at the boy jumping on the bed and smiling. 

"Go down and wait for me, okay?" the older Carter said with a yawn. Aaron ran out of the room and Nick stretched. 

"He sure is excited." Amanda said, getting up as well. 

"Every kid is excited on Christmas Day. My brother is just naturally excited about anything good...." Nick said as he walked out of the room and went downstairs. Amanda brought the baby down and saw quite a few presents under the tree. The tree was lit up and it reminded Amanda of Christmas back in Jersey, where she grew up. Being 24, it seemed so long ago. 

"Merry Christmas, Amanda." Nick said, handing her a small wrapped box. 

"Awww, Nick. You didn't have to buy me anything." she said. The box held a pair of diamond earrings....real diamonds. Amanda felt spoiled and couldn't believe that Nick spent that kind of money on her.

"I owe you.....I owe you my life, Amanda. So much has happened to me since we met and you helped me through everything. You helped me be who I am today. Its the least I could do." Nick told her. 

"Thanks, you are too sweet." Amanda said as they embraced. Aaron continued opening presents of action figures, video games, various toys. Amanda had bought him a skateboard, with elbow and kneepads and a helmet. Nick raised an eyebrow at this gift. 

"Don't worry, Nick. He will be fine if he wears the safety gear." 

"Thanks, Amanda! You're awesome!" Aaron shouted when he held up the skateboard. Nick had bought the baby some clothes and there were presents from AJ and Joey too. AJ got Aaron a kid sized drum set and Joey bought him the new Guitar Hero. 

"Wow, drums!" Aaron exclaimed as he held up the box.

"I will put them together for you later." Nick said before he went over to the closet. Amanda smiled at how happy the two brothers were, their first Christmas together. 

"Aaron, looks like Santa forgot to put this under the tree." Nick said. Aaron squealed as Nick brought out a bike. It was black with flame decals, and a matching helmet. 

"You are the best brother ever....." Aaron said, the grin on his face spread from ear to ear. He got on the bike and felt the handlebars. 

"No riding it in the house." Nick cautioned. Aaron got off the bike and gave Nick a big hug. Amanda brought out a large box for Nick and handed it to him. 

"What's this?" Nick asked curiously. 

"Just something I saw you needed." Amanda said. An electric guitar laid in the box. The guitar was blue with glitter in the paint and had a black handle. Nick took it out and looked the gift over, amazed. 

"How did you know?" he asked in surprise, holding it so it caught the light. 

"I saw this in the store and remembered you saying you needed one." she said. 

"Thanks, its beautiful." Nick said. After presents, they all cleaned up and Nick began cooking in the kitchen. Amanda watched him in amazement, she had not known Nick could cook. Aaron helped him peel potatoes and mash them. The two boys kept busy all morning as Amanda played with Celine. 

"I don't think I am going to stay for dinner," Amanda said when Nick offered her. 

"Okay...you don't have to stay if you don't want." he replied. Just then, the door opened and AJ walked in, kicking off his shoes and looking defeated. 

"AJ!!!" Aaron shouted, running to hug him. AJ produced a half smile and hugged him back. 

"Need a drink, Jay?"

"Make it a double," AJ said with a sigh. 

"What happened?" Amanda asked curiously as Nick brought AJ a drink. He drank most of it in one swallow. 

"My family is always fighting. They are all so caught up in their own problems, so I left. They probably don't even notice I am gone." AJ told them. 

"Sorry to hear that."

"Ah, don't worry, they are always like that."

"Thanks for helping Aaron with my gift, it was really nice." Nick said. 

"No problem, bro." 

Amanda headed for the door after talking to AJ and Nick followed. The two stood by the door saying goodbye when Amanda looked up and saw mistletoe hanging above them. 

"Nick...."

"Well, well...look at that." Nick said with a devilish grin. Amanda gave him a look and he giggled. 

"Its tradition."

"Nick, this is silly."

"Just a quick one." Nick said, and the two of them kissed briefly. Nick missed the touch of her lips on his own. 

"Merry Christmas, Amanda."

"Merry Christmas." Amanda replied, smiling as she walked towards her street. Neither of them noticed that a pair of green eyes had seen everything.


	26. Chapter 26

"She's not yours...." the words echoed in Lance's head again as he looked down upon the sleeping baby in her crib. 

"Not yours." Lance whispered sadly, his eyes watering. He had always wanted to be a father. When he had found out that Amanda was pregnant he had been ecstatic, had turned over a new leaf....had changed his ways. This baby meant the world to him, and now he knew....she wasn't his. Celine lay sleeping before him. Lance had never really looked at her before, really looked....but she did look like Nick. It made his blood boil to know that Nick had stolen yet another thing from him. Lance could hear the TV in the other room, Amanda watching the New Year's celebration. Lance was more hurt by the fact he had not been told the baby was not his. Wiping the tears from his green eyes he walked into the other room. Nick was on the television performing. Amanda watched intently, singing along to his music. Lance admitted he liked the music, but his total disgust for Nick outweighed it all. Lance decided he couldn't take anymore. 

"Aww he is using the guitar I bought him for Christmas!" Amanda pointed out. Lance practically growled when she mentioned Christmas. He took a deep breath and strode over to Amanda, shaking with anger. The clock on the wall said 10 minutes to midnight. Ten more minutes and everything would be right again. 

"When were you going to tell me, Amanda?" Lance whispered suddenly, his voice piercing the silence. Amanda looked up at him, her pretty face marked with confusion. 

"Answer me! When were you gonna tell me?" he shouted. 

"What do you mean, honey?"

"Celine isn't mine." Lance stated, not meeting her gaze. Amanda's eyes went wide as she realised what her husband was saying. But how? How could he have figured it out? She supposed he would find out eventually, but not this soon. 

"Lance, I-" she began, but fell silent and looked away. There was no excuse for this, no excuse for keeping a secret like this. Lance shook his head at her in disappointment, his eyes watering again. 

"You knew how much being a father meant to me, Amanda! YOU FUCKING KNEW!!" he shouted angrily. Amanda couldn't answer....she didn't know what to say. 

"You must think I am an idiot, don't you?"

"No, I don't. Lance, I am so sorry...." Amanda said, pleading with him. Lance clenched his fists.   
"SORRY? YOU'RE SORRY? Well, I am sorry too. Sorry I asked you to marry me, because it is quite obvious you don't love me." his voice boomed. 

"But, Lance...." 

"NO. I don't want to hear your excuses anymore. You betrayed me for the last time. I hope you and Nick had a cozy holiday.....from what I saw you weren't sorry then either." Lance snapped coldly. Amanda gasped, Lance had seen her and Nick under the mistletoe. 

"It was an innocent kiss." she protested, tears running down her cheeks. Lance turned away from her and walked towards their bedroom. Amanda followed and saw him packing things into a duffel bag. 

"Where are you going?" Amanda asked in shock. Lance whirled around, his eyes shining and full of hurt. 

"I'm done." he whispered softly, not looking at her. 

"Baby...."

"I'm finished, Amanda. This can't possibly work." he said moodily as he crammed more clothes into the bag. 

"Lance, please don't leave....I love you!" Amanda sobbed, holding his hand. Lance knocked it away and zipped the bag closed. Celine was crying in the other room and it was two minutes to midnight. 

"You never loved me, Amanda. If you loved me you wouldn't have slept with Nick." he shouted at her, heading for the door. Amanda grabbed his arm to pull him back and they struggled there for a few moments.

"What about the baby?" Amanda cried, tugging on his sleeve, the baby's cries growing louder in the other room. 

"She isn't mine, remember? I don't owe her shit. I'm through with both of you." Lance growled, pushing her away. Amanda tripped and fell on the floor, sobbing as Lance walked out the door, the door slamming behind him. The clock struck midnight as Amanda sat on the floor sobbing, the baby crying in the other room. Lance had left her, and now she was on her own. The clock struck again in reply, the house silent except for Amanda's sobbing. She sat there for a long time, her head in her knees as the tears rolled down her face, Lance's final words still lingering in the air.


	27. Chapter 27

The Ghost Bar in the Palms Hotel of Las Vegas was full, packed of people celebrating New Year's Eve. They were all happy to be there, dancing the night away. Nick sat in the middle of this, looking at his half empty glass of champagne and sighing. He looked at his cell phone in his hand, the clock reading 11pm. He stared at the number on the screen and was about to hit send when he heard the sound of heels clicking behind him. Nick's gaze shifted to the blonde woman before him. She was dressed tastefully for once, wearing a glittery black dress and tasteful makeup. Her hair hung down over her shoulders and she smiled at him as she sipped at her cosmopolitan. Nick was impressed that Katie had left the trashy clothes at their hotel room, but was kicking himself for how he was feeling. 

"I brought you a drink, baby." Katie said as she handed him a Coke. Nick looked at her skeptically because he had already been sitting at the bar, but took the drink anyway. He took a large gulp and coughed. It definitely had alcohol in it, most likely rum by the taste of it. Nick licked his lips and continued drinking. A few drinks later, Nick was completely wasted and falling over himself. Nick was not usually one to go overboard drinking but Katie had laced his drinks with drugs. So they stumbled back to the hotel room where Nick was giggling hysterically.

"Sweetheart, do you love me?" she asked, stroking his hair. Nick hiccuped before he spoke, his breath strong with alcohol. 

"I loove you." he replied with a grin plastered on his face. 

"How much?" she asked, as they kissed. She was suprised that he was more affectionate with her when he was drunk. His hands were wandering, pawing at her and trying to undress her. 

"Ohhh I got an idea! Let's get married." he said suddenly. Katie's smile went wider as Nick played right into her plan, a plan she had formed at Christmas. 

"Are you sure, baby?" Katie said, although she knew he would keep going. Nick kissed her again. 

"Yeah, it's New Year's! What could be better?" Nick explained, his voice slurred.

"Let's go now!" she said, and the two of them went to a chapel nearby. It was the classic Vegas wedding, with an Elvis impersonator presiding over it. After that Nick and Katie partied til nearly 5 in the morning before falling asleep in their hotel room. A few hours later, Nick awoke to the worst pain he had ever felt. His whole body was sore, his stomach queasy and head throbbing. 

"What the fucking hell?" he groaned, blinking because the lights made him dizzy.

"Morning, baby." Katie said, her head laying on his chest. Nick moaned softly, feeling sick to his stomach. 

"Why do I feel like total shit?" 

"Maybe you drank too much last night," Katie whispered thoughtfully. 

"How can that be? I only had one glass of champagne!" Nick told her, raising his hand to rub his forehead. A gold ring was on his finger, glinting in the morning light. He looked at it curiously....he couldn't remember wearing it before. Sitting up in the bed, he stared at his hand in disbelief. 

"Where did this come from?" 

"You don't remember?" Katie asked, still pretending she didn't know anything. 

"What am I supposed to be remembering?" 

"Silly boy. You asked me to marry you last night." Katie responded, and Nick felt more nauseous than before. He had been planning on breaking up with Katie the night before. How did this happen, and why couldn't he remember? It had all gone horribly wrong. 

"No no no. We can't be married."

"Nick, I'm your wife now. You love me, don't you?" she asked, her brown eyes narrowed as Nick panicked. 

"This is a dream. I must be dreaming this." he muttered as he paced the room. He got dizzy and ran to the bathroom to vomit. He was sick almost all morning, and couldn't emember what had happened the night before. His head throbbed at the thought of Katie being his wife, wished he could go back and fix it. 

"No....no...I can't be married to her." Nick whispered, sitting on the floor of the bathroom, wondering what Amanda was doing at that moment, wondering if she would be okay with him being married again. Esprically after he swore he wouldn't marry Katie....now he was stuck with her.


	28. Chapter 28

Amanda sat on the floor sobbing for a few minutes after the door slammed shut, her head in her knees. Lance was gone and there was nothing she could do. She heard the car pull out of the driveway and saw the headlights leave. He was gone. Gone. Amanda shifted in her position on the floor, the tears streaming down her face. She could hear Celine crying in the other room but did not have the atength to get up. She cried for what seemed hours. Suddenly the door opened again and Amanda heard footsteps. 

"Are you all right?!" Brian's voice said from the doorway. He was wearing his pajamas and a tank top that hugged his muscles. He scooped her up and brought her to the couch, checking her over. 

"Brian....." she sobbed, clinging to him and burying her head in his shoulder. Brian held her, stroked her hair and shushed her, calming her down. 

"What happened?" he asked even though he had a feeling. Amanda wiped her eyes and sniffed. Brian noticed the baby crying and excused himself before taking care of her and getting her to sleep. He came out and made Amanda some tea then sat down in the living room again. 

"He left me, Brian. He left me..." she said, her eyes watering. Brian hugged her and wiped her tears. 

"Lance is an idiot for leaving someone like you. He is a fool. You are an amazing woman." he said kindly with a smile. 

"Thanks, Bri." 

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" 

"Physically, no." Amanda replied. She felt awful for lying to Lance about the baby....knew he was going to find out eventually. Lance was intelligent. She was actually suprised he had waited to say anything up until now. 

"Brian? Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," he said with a smile. 

"Am I a horrible person? I cheated on Lance.....twice." she said, looking down in shame.

"No, sweetheart....you aren't a bad person, you just make bad choices. I know you love Nick....Lance knew. But look at it this way, you and Nick can be together and be a family." Brian pointed out. Amanda smiled at this thought. Nick was Celine's real father and it would be amazing if they could all be together. 

"I feel like I am being punished." 

"Look, things have a way of working themselves out. Nick told me he was dumping Katie last night so you and him are as good as together once he finds out Lance is gone." Brian explained. He looked at Amanda and they embraced again. Brian ended up staying the night and taking care of her and the baby to make sure they were okay. In the morning he made coffee and they watched television. 

"Happy New Year, Amanda. This is a new start for you." Brian said as he brought her a cup. Amanda was feeling better, maybe things were looking up and going in her favor. Her thoughts were interupted by the television nearby. 

"....partying in Vegas last night...." the announcer said. Brian ran to the TV and blocked it so AmAnda could not watch. 

"Out of the way, Bri!" she shouted, pushing him. Nick was on the television....TMZ had captured photos of him and Katie leaving a chapel the night before. There was footage of Nick completely wasted. 

"He wouldn't." Amanda said through gritted teeth. 

"He couldn't." Brian chimed in as they watched in disbelief. 

"He did. He married that bitch...." he added angrily. Brian was mad because Nick had told him the night before that he was dumping Katie. Amanda fell silent and started crying....now she really was alone in the world.


	29. Chapter 29

"Carter is late...." Skye said, twirling the drumsticks in her hand as the band waited for Nick to arrive. He was an hour late....something he rarely did. Amanda was not pleased at all, especially since Nick had promised her before CHristmas that he would not be late to rehearsals. She was already in the middle of the divorce from Lance so she had not been in a good mood already, and now Nick had added to it. 

"I will be in my office when the rock star decides to show up." Amanda said coldly. She went to her office to do paperwork. It was not like Nick to pull something like this, but she was mad none the less. Amanda was so infuriated that she did not look up when Nick appeared in the doorway an hour later. 

"Hey." he said, knocking on the door jam softly. 

"What do you want, Nick?" Amanda said coldly. He was wearing the big sunglasses again and looked dishevelled, as if he had just rolled out of bed. He smelled slightly of cologne and alcohol.

"Just wanted to let you know I was here...sorry, I'm-" 

"Nick, you are two hours late. I do not want to hear your excuses."

"But Amanda..." 

"I don't want to hear it. If you're such a rock star that you think you can pick your own time to start rehearsals, then I suggest you find somewhere else to play." Amanda snapped. Nick frowned at the way she was speaking to him, it wasn't like her at all. He moved closer to her and tried to talk to her again, Amanda saw the gold glinting on his hand. 

"Amanda, I'm sorry...I promise it won't happen again." he said as he took off the glasses. His eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles under them, his face tired and worn. 

"Have a good time in Vegas?" Amanda asked without looking at him. Nick shifted uncomfortably...this was not going the way he had planned. 

"Not really....I..."

"Leave your personal life at home. Go start rehearsal....you are already late." she said. Nick hung his head as he walked out of the office and as soon as the door closed Amanda cried, her head on the desk. It broke her heart to know that Nick was married to someone like Katie, and that she couldn't be with him. Lance had left her with a six month old daughter...sure, Brian had stepped up and given all his free time to help with Celine, but she had hoped Nick would take some responsibility. Instead, Nick was out partying and didn't seem to care. Amanda ended up leaving the club early right in the middle of a song Nick was playing. She Looked at him with tears in her brown eyes as she walked out. Nick got upset and stopped singing, sitting down on the stage and knowing he screwed up big time. Amanda went to pick up Celine from Brian's and he noticed she was upset. 

"You okay?" Brian asked. 

"Nick was two hours late to rehearsal."

"Are you serious? That's not like him." Brian said as he handed her the baby. 

"I know it isn't, and it scares me. He is turning into something he isn't....he smelled like alcohol too." Amanda said. 

"Well, maybe one of us should talk to him."

"It won't be me, Bri. I have enough on my plate without dealing with his mistakes too. Nick chose to get married, he can get himself out of it." Amanda stated as she walked home. That night, Amanda was still mad at Nick so she didn't go to his performance. She called to check on things and could hear the crowd booing. It was the first time Nick had ever been booed in his life. Amanda didn't care...Nick had screwed up himself...she had no pity or remorse left for him. After that she and Nick were barely speaking. He was on time and did exactly what she needed him to do, but they did not talk. A few days went by and Nick had the night off. When this happened, Amanda usually had a DJ or recorded music so she didn't have to worry about entertainment. It was this night she was surprised to see Brian walk in the door. He was not in uniform....wore a dress shirt and black pants. Amanda admitted to herself he looked gorgeous as he walked over and smiled. He smelled amazing and his voice was smooth. 

"Wow, Brian....what brings you here?" she asked playfully. 

"I had a free night and I decided to go out." Brian said. Amanda had never really noticed how attractive Brian was. She and him had always had a brother-sister type relationship. 

"Actually, I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay..." 

"I was wondering if you would like to join me for dinner sometime." he said, grinning. Amanda could not believe Brian was asking her out. She had not known he was attracted to her at all...he never flirted or showed that he liked her in that way. 

"Like a date?" Amanda asked just to be sure." Brian nodded and they agreed to go out that Thursday night. After Brian left, Amanda felt excited about the date but something deep down told her it would lead to trouble. Brian was a wonderful man....he always helped her and was good looking...he was sensitive and charming, a gentleman. Amanda thought for a long time about the prospect of dating Brian and decided that she was done waiting for Nick....that she was done helping him and did not need to stress over him anymore.


	30. Chapter 30

Amanda ended up being genuinely surprised by how the date with Brian went the night before. Life was going pretty good but she decided to make amends with Nick that afternoon at rehearsal. He was waiting for her this time...had shown up a half hour early.

"Happy New Year," Nick said, his voice choppy. He looked tired and worn but wore a cheerful expression. Amanda walked over slowly, running over what she would say to him in the back of her mind. 

"Nick, I am sorry for snapping at you the other day. I've been going through a lot lately." she began, but Nick held up his hand. 

"It's okay. I would have yelled at me too. I'm the one who should be apologising to you for my actions. I was two hours late and showed up with a hangover." Nick stated. 

"Look, maybe it was the fact that you had promised it wouldn't happen anymore." Amanda replied. She looked him over and noticed the ring was missing on his hand today, the wedding ring had vanished. 

"Well if it helps matters, I won't be partying anymore."

"So where is your wedding ring?" Amanda asked suddenly after a while. Nick looked at his feet and blushed a little. 

"I took it off." he muttered sheepishly. 

"Why?" Amanda asked, although she had an inkling what the reasoning was. 

"Because I feel awkward wearing it when I don't love her. To me, wearing the ring is a symbol of your love, and I didn't want to marry her." Nick told her. Deep down, Amanda felt relieved that Nick did not love Katie. She did feel that he had put himself in this situation however and did not pity him. 

"So how did you end up married, anyway? I thought you were going to dump her." 

"I don't remember anything. I know I had half a glass of champagne. When I woke up it, it was morning and I found a ring on my finger." Nick said. Thinking back to that night everything seemed out of whack to him. He did not understand how he could forget getting married. As he was thinking this, he noticed Amanda was not wearing her rings either. 

"Nick, you realize that taking the rings off doesn't mean the marriage disappears." Amanda said with a small laugh. 

"So where are your rings?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow. She was hoping he wouldn't notice...she was trying to avoid discussing Lance at all costs. Their divorce was being negotiated at that moment and she had no desire to speak about it to Nick. However, she knew he would find out eventually. 

"Lance left me, Nick." she said softly, feeling the pain coming back. 

"Wow...I'm sorry. When did this happen?" Nick asked in surprise.

"On New Year's Eve. He found out Celine is your daughter." Amanda responded, not looking at him. Lance's angry voice echoed in her mind as she thought of him and the divorce. 

"If there is anything I can do, let me know. I'm here for you, remember that." Nick said. He was kicking himself practically because Amanda was now available and he was married. He had been waiting for this opportunity for a long time and now that it happened he was taken. Amanda knew Nick was happy she was no longer married but at the same time, she was now dating Brian, his best friend. She debated telling him but was interrupted by her bouncer, who walked over holding a big bouquet of red roses. 

"This just arrived for you..." Charlie told her as he handed her the flowers. It was two dozen red roses, and they smelled wonderful. 

"Nice flowers..who sent them?" Nick asked curiously. Amanda looked at the card and saw that they were from Brian. She decided not to tell Nick who they were from and went to her office to call Brian.

"Officer Littrell. How may I help you?" Brian answered after she had gotten transferred. 

"Sorry to bother you at work, thank you for the flowers." Amanda said, finding herself giggling at how he answered the phone. 

"Thank you for a wonderful date." Brian replied. 

"That was an amazing dinner. I would like to see you again." she found herself telling him. Amanda decided that Nick was taken, there was no reason to wait for him anymore. Brian was a sweet guy and a gentleman, something she had not seen in anyone for a long time. After getting off the phone with Brian she walked out to the stage where Nick was singing and watched him as he performed, feeling bad about not telling him she was dating Brian. She did love Nick dearly but how many chances could she give him?


	31. Chapter 31

Brian had brought Amanda lunch that afternoon and they sat at the bar in her nightclub having a talk as they ate. Amanda was really liking Brian as her boyfriend. He was thoughtful and always took time to see her when he could. Since he was a police officer his time was limited, but they made it work. 

"So I was running plates the other day and you would never guess who I saw." Brian said as they ate.   
"Were you doing this outside my club again? Please don't scare my customers!" Amanda teased, laughing. 

"I found Nick's father." Brian told her, and they both grew silent. Amanda looked at him skeptically. She knew Nick had not seen his father in nearly twenty years, not since he walked out on him at the age of five.

"His actual father? How do you know its him? Nick said he couldn't find him." she replied. 

"Nick looks like him. You have seen him in here before." Brian pointed out. When he had discovered that Nick's father was around he had followed him for a little while and discovered he was a frequent visitor to Amanda's club. 

"I think I would have noticed someone who looks like Nick in here." 

"Look for him tonight....he will be here." 

"How do you know he will be here?" 

"Because....he only comes when Nick is performing." Brian explained. After Brian had left, Nick came to start rehearsals and he was in a fairly good mood. 

"I brought you coffee!" he said brightly as he drank from his own cup. Amanda took a sip and it was perfect, just the way she liked it. 

"How do you know how I like it?" she asked as she drank it. 

"I remembered from Christmas." he replied with a grin. Later on that night, Amanda stood by the bar and watched Nick's first set She scanned the crowd for Nick's father and found him standing nearby. He was a bit taller than Nick but indeed looked like him as Brian had said. Nick's father got up and walked over to where Amanda stood, and Amanda couldn't get over how much Nick did look like him.

"Hello," she said as he ordered a drink from the bartender. 

"You are the owner, aren't you?"

"Why, yes I am. Do you need something?" she asked. Even the voice sounded alike, but a little deeper. 

"I like your musical group. Where did you find them?" 

"Well, I am friends with the lead singer....Nick Carter." 

"Carter? Is there a way I could speak with him?" 

"Sure, I could arrange it....just wait after his second set." Amanda said. Nick's father went on to tell her who he was and that he had been looking for Nick for a long time. He had been coming to see him perform because he meant to talk to Nick, but was afraid of what would happen. Amanda couldn't blame him for feeling that way. Nick was five years old when his father left....it had been 20 years ago since Nick had seen him. After his second set, Nick was in his dressing room preparing to go home when Amanda walked in. 

"Great show tonight," she said as he smiled and put his guitar away.   
"Yeah, I was in the zone. What's up?" Nick said as he noticed her nervous expression. A sense of dread washed over Nick and the smile slid away from his face as he heard footsteps in the hallway. 

"I have a big fan who would like to meet you." Amanda told him. The door opened and a man walked in.   
"What's going on?" Nick asked, eyeing this man and feeling angry, but wondering why.   
"I'm your father." the man told him softly. Nick backed away in shock....there was no way this man could be his father. No way that a man he had not seen in 20 years just suddenly appear in his life again.

"No.....this is a joke, it has to be a joke." he muttered. 

"Nick, I am your father. I am so happy to see you...." his fathet said with a warm smile, walking towards Nick....who backed away. 

"Where the hell have you been all this time?!" Nick yelled suddenly, causing Amanda to jump. Nick had hurt in his eyes as he spoke. He had endured 13 years of abuse from his mother because of his father leaving. 13 years of hell....13 years of pain. 

"Nick, I-" his father stammered as Nick yelled. Amanda stood there and watched in silence, thinking that Brian was crazy for putting this idea together.


	32. Chapter 32

As he looked at his father, Nick remembered the day he left. He was five years old and watching through the railing of the staircase as his parents fought over him. Nick never got to say goodbye, but his mother had told him that it was his fault his father had left.

"Nick, I-"

"Where were you??" Nick demanded, cutting off what his father was going to say. 

"I couldn't find you, I've been looking for a long time....your mother kept you from me." 

"Don't give me that shit. I have lived in the same goddamn house for 15 years." Nick snapped. His father looked away, ashamed of himself. Nick had tears in his eyes as he continued. 

"How could you just leave me like that? I was FIVE!!!" 

"Nick, I am sorry....but I didn't want to leave, your mother threw me out. She threw me out and we divorced. Then she moved so I couldn't find you."

"That is bullshit.....you didn't want me!" Nick said, tears streaming down his face. His mother's voice echoed in his head telling him over and over the words she had spoken to him as he grew up. Nick clutched his head and cried, trying to block out her voice. A little blonde boy, his five year old self cowered in the corner as his mother hit him forcefully and blamed him for everything, the stench of alcohol fresh on her breath. 

"Nick just listen to him. I am sure he is sincere." Amanda pointed out solemnly.

"Where were you those nights when I slept in the basement and wasn't let out for days? When Mom heard me singing and beat me until I was unconscious? Where were you when I went a week without food for asking where you went?" Nick asked desperately.

"I-" his father stammered. Amanda was crying at this point because she had no idea Nick had gone through that as a child. She knew he was abused but not to that extent. As Nick continued it got more graphic and he stopped   
to wipe his eyes. 

"Look, I am sorry I wasn't there for you but I am here for you now. We can be a family again, Nick...you just have to let me in." Nick heard his father say. The little boy was screaming and crying for his father and Nick's heart broke again as his mother struck once more. Amanda left the room to collect herself and saw Brian standing there with Celine looking stressed. The baby in his arms was crying and Brian tried desperately to calm her. 

"I hate you, Brian. Why did I let you talk me into that?" Amanda said as Nick's voice carried into the next room. 

"Wow, what's going on in there?" Brian asked, craning his neck to look. 

"I told you so....Nick is not happy...he is having a nervous breakdown. I think he will need serious therapy after this. Give me my baby." Amanda said, taking her daughter and hugging   
her, bouncing her gently. 

"What's wrong with Celine?" she asked after a few moments. 

"I don't know, she wouldn't stop crying. i guess she wanted mommy." Brian said with a smile. Amanda went back into the other room and was surprised to see Nick and his father hugging, Nick crying into his shoulder. 

"It's okay, son. I'm here." Nick's father said as they embraced. 

"I'm sorry...." Nick sobbed. After he had calmed down, Amanda gave him Celine. Nick smiled and talked to his daughter, feeling much better. The little boy was at peace and the voices were silent as he talked to his daughter. 

"She is a beautiful baby....whose is she?" Nick's father asked.   
"This gorgeous girl is my daughter....well, our daughter." Nick stated as the baby flashed a grin. 

"You're a father?" 

"Yep. I am 24 but I couldn't be more proud of this little angel." Nick said. 

"She is no angel, Nick. She is stubborn like you." Amanda said with a laugh. 

"I will take her tonight if that's okay." Nick offered to her surprise.

"Really? That would be great." Amanda said. Nick went home that night but couldn't get to sleep. Memories of his childhood surfaced and all he could hear was screams and feel the hand of his mother striking again and again. In the morning Amanda picked Celine up and saw Nick looked tired. His eyes were bloodshot with dark circles under them and he was a mess. 

"Are you all right?" Amanda asked as she looked him over. 

"I couldn't sleep." he replied. 

"Oh, I am so sorry. Did she give you any trouble?" Amanda asked. 

"No...none at all."

"Then why couldn't you sleep?"   
Amanda asked. 

"Nightmares mostly." Nick said shakily. 

"Nick, I am so sorry for doing that, I should have talked to you first." Amanda apologised. Nick simply smiled at her, now the healing could begin.


	33. Chapter 33

Katie stood in her walk in closet, trying to choose a pair of shoes to wear with her dress she had put on for the day. Her closet was massive, almost as big as Nick's bedroom. She had a fetish for high heeled shoes and designer clothes. Anything with a brand name, mostly expensive names like Versache or Dolce and Gabbana. Her favorite shoes were Manolos. She had just bought about seven pairs of them. Katie took the first pair she saw, put them on and strolled down the stairs for breakfast. Nick was in the kitchen when he heard a loud crash followed by a series of bangs.

"NICKY!!!!!" Katie wailed from the staircase. Nick went running to find her at the bottom of the staircase, crying hysterically. Her hair was a mess. 

"What happened?" AJ asked as he poked his head into the living room. Katie held up one of her shoes and cried louder. 

"My shoes!" she cried as Nick helped her to the couch and elevated her leg. Nick ended up waiting on her all afternoon until he went to rehearsals around two looking tired. The next morning at breakfast, Nick was talking with AJ when Aaron walked in and sat down with a smile on his face. He looked pleased for some reason as he started eating his cereal. 

"What's with him?" Nick wondered.

"He probably got a high score or something. Right, Airhead?" AJ asked, using a nickname he had given Aaron the other day. 

"You could say that," Aaron replied as he ate his Lucky Charms. Katie walked into the room at that moment and Nick's eyes almost bugged out of his head when he saw her. 

"How is your ankle?" Nick asked as he stared at her. He nudged AJ with his elbow, who looked at Katie and promptly choked on his orange juice. 

"Its fine, baby. Why are are you staring at me like that?" Katie asked.

"You look like Smurfette!" AJ laughed. Nick punched him in the arm but had to stop himself from laughing. Katie's hair was dyed blue. Of course, Smurfette had blonde hair and a blue face but AJ had the right idea. Nick took her into the bathroom nearby and stood her in front of the mirror. Katie blinked in disbelief then let out a high pitched scream. Nick clamped his hands over her ears until the screams turned into cries of despair. Nick was not a happy camper as he ended up escorting her directly to a hair salon. AJ took Aaron to school and was in fits of laughter. AJ noticed that Aaron wasn't laughing, he sat there grinning until he went to school. He did not ask him anything but went to open his tattoo shop in town. Nick had no idea why Katie was being so accident prone all of a sudden, because her shoes broke two more times after that. 

"What's wrong, Nick?" Amanda asked at rehearsal that afternoon, when he had come in looking a bit stressed. Nick had an awards show to go to and he was nervous about it because it was a televised event. 

"Katie has been having accidents. She has become very clumsy." Nick told her. 

"What do you mean?" she asked, although AJ had been telling her about them. 

"Well, her shoes keep breaking and someone dyed her hair blue." 

"She broke her shoes? What ones were they?" 

"That's why I am mad. They were Manolos. Do you know how expensive those shoes are? She has broken three pairs already!" 

"Those are $3,000 a pair!" Amanda said before Nick could. 

"Exactly. Well about four grand....give or take." he added. 

"I am not sure what scares me more, that you know what Manolos are or how much they cost." Amanda joked.

"Uh, I get the credit card statement." Nick said matter-of-factly. The next night was the People's Choice Awards and Nick was nominated for two of them so he was in attendance and brought Katie along. She wore a peach colored Vera Wang dress and a pair of heels. AJ had invited Amanda over to watch the red carpet stuff at the house. 

"Where is Aaron? I thought he was gonna watch," Amanda asked as she put Celine in the playpen. 

"He was in his room." AJ told her as they saw Nick posing for pictures. Katie turned around and showed off the back of her dres. 

"Oh my god." Amanda gasped. Nick seemed to notice the same time she did because he turned her back towards the wall. Katie tried desoareately to cover herself. The back of her peach dress had been cut out, exposing the pink thong underwear she was wearing to the world. Nick rushed her off camera and AJ was laughing. 

"Holy crap.....that was classic." AJ remarked as he wiped his eyes. 

"How did that happen?" Amanda wondered. To top it all off, as they were running, Katie had broken yet another shoe. Nick's was beet red as he helped her up and they left the red carpet. After that incident, Nick and Katie were the topic of a lot of discussions that night. As they watched the show, Aaron happened to come into the room, wearing yet another grin.

"Aaron, you just missed the best thing ever on TV!" AJ laughed. Aaron was twirling a pair of scissors in his hand as he laughed. 

"I think she forgot this!" Aaron said as he held up a piece of Katie's dress. Amanda's mouth dropped open in shock. 

"Wait a damn minute, YOU did that?" AJ exclaimed as the boy laughed. 

"Yeah, I did!" Aaron replied, sitting down on the couch. 

"Wait, there is no way you did this on your own." Amanda protested. 

"Nobody helped me. I was tired of the way Katie treats me and my brother." Aaron stated calmly. 

"You played all those pranks? Even her hair?" AJ asked in disbelief. He had never seen Aaron act so maniacal before, or even play pranks like these. He was normally very good natured. 

"I did the shoes too," 

"Not the shoes!! Nick is gonna kill you for that, kiddo." AJ said. 

"How do you know how much those cost, AJ?" Amanda asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Nick told me when he was checking his credit card bill." 

"Aaron, you are pure evil. I honestly thought your brother did all that stuff." Amanda said, smiling at him. Aaron giggled as he held up the missing piece of Katie's peach dress. 

"My brother would never do something like this. He is not happy with her....I want him to be with you. I like you....so does my brother. Can't you tell him to make her leave?" Aaron asked, looking at Amanda. She hugged the boy and smiled. Sometimes children understood things better than adults. Amanda really wished she could tell Nick to leave Katie, but there was no way to convince him while she was in a relationship herself. She decided to wait and see how it worked out with Brian first before deciding anything, and hoped the decision would come easy.


	34. Chapter 34

Amanda had been dating Brian for almost two weeks now. She enjoyed his company, but there was something about him that scared her....he was completely perfect. Amanda had tried desperately to find a flaw in him, to find something wrong with him...but there was nothing. He was emotionally stable, had a good and steady job...took care of himself, cleaned, cooked and was a wonderful boyfriend. He was always on time for everything right down to the last second, was well organised and always did the right thing. Most women would love to have such a perfect man, but it was making Amanda sick to her stomach. She cared for Brian a great deal, but just did not feel the same way as she did towards Nick, who was full of flaws. Nick was always late, very spontaneous. He never thought before doing things, which led him to making bad choices. Nick always seemed to get into trouble and she would bail him out. However, he did have good points too. Nick was very thoughtful and tried to make up for his mistakes with kindness. He had a troubled past but became a better person from it, whereas Brian had the perfect family of a mom and dad who taught him right from wrong and taught him manners. They were two extremely different men, but Amanda was having a hard time choosing who she wanted to be with. After contemplating it for a long time, she decided it was time to talk to Brian. One night, Brian had taken her out for dinner and had walked her up to the porch. 

"Can we talk for a bit? I want to say something." Brian said suddenly. Amanda nodded and the two of them sat on the porch swing next to one another. 

"I actually want to say something too," Amanda said. He smiled at her, his blue eyes twinkling. 

"Amanda, I know we haven't been together very long, but-" he began. Amanda did not really hear much of what he said, all she could think of was what she wanted to tell him. 

"I love you, Amanda." Brian's voice jarred her out of her thoughts and she stared at him, blinking in disbelief. He had just told her he was in love with her. This was not what she wanted at all and it actually scared her that he was saying it so soon....they had not been together for a month yet and he had fallen already. After he spoke the words, Brian's eyes watched her carefully for some sort of a reaction, an inkling she felt the same way, a sign that she loved him too. The smile started to fade when he saw there was nothing there in her expression to suggest any feeling at all. 

"Brian...." she said finally after a few moments of awkward silence. The tension was slowly building and Brian's heart was pounding inside his chest. 

"Don't you love me?" he asked tentatively, his eyes boring into hers. 

"Brian....I care for you a lot, and you have done so much for me." Amanda said, searching for the words. Brian's smile faded more and his heart began to sink. 

"But..." he mouthed as she said the word. He knew it was coming, but did not expect it tonight. 

"I look at you as a brother....I don't love you the way you need me to love you back....I'm sorry." Amanda told him. Brian's chest grew tight and he fought off the urge to shed tears. He collected himself quickly and forced a smile for her. 

"I understand..." he said although he wanted to scream. More fake smiles followed the first one and his hands were shaking, which he hid by stuffing them deep in his pants pocket. 

"Brian, I really like being with you, but I just don't feel that connection." Amanda said, her words cutting him. Brian stood up and nodded, still smiling at her. 

"I respect your decision." he said flatly and without emotion. Amanda looked at him skeptically, there was no way he could not be upset after something like this. A normal person would be crying or reacting in some way. 

"Brian...." she began, but he was already walking away from her and towards his house. Amanda watched him close the door. She felt the tears come and her own heart was breaking. She did not understand why she felt so bad....she had not felt the same way Brian did about her. She looked up and was a little upset that nobody was there to comfort her this time. Burying her head in her knees again, she sobbed for a bit until a noise startled her.

"Hey," Nick's voice called. Amanda quickly dried her eyes and put on a smile for him as he sat down on the swing next to her. He smelled of beer but was not drunk. 

"Hey." 

"You all right?" Nick asked, his head turned to the side like a dog's. Amanda laughed a little when he did this, it was a habit he had. 

"Not really, but I will be okay. What's up?" Amanda asked with a grin. Nick's presence was soothing to her, she felt calm around him. 

"I had a nice chat with my lawyer and they are looking into how I can get out of this marriage with her. Turns out some friends of mine were at that party that night and saw her drug me." Nick explained with a sigh. 

"I'm sorry to hear that, Nick. You are lucky she did not do any damage to your body." 

"Yes, I am very lucky. And to top I it all off, the sleazy place we got married in may not have a license. So hopefully I will be rid of her!" Nick said happily. Amanda smiled and nodded, was this what she had been hoping for? She had really enjoyed Brian as her boyfriend, but couldn't handle the perfection. She had even asked him if he could sing and he had a beautiful voice..there was no flaws at all. Amanda liked Nick because he WASN'T perfect, she loved his imperfection and it made him human. 

"So I suppose you won't tell me why you were crying, huh?" Nick said, his arm around her and rubbing her shoulder gently. She smiled and shook her head. 

"I think you should go and check on Brian." Amanda said softly, trying not to think of what state Brian was in. She figured his father had told him that real men don't cry. Brian's parents were very traditional and liked Brian to be a well mannered child. Nick, however would cry. He would cry no matter who was looking or where he was, those tears would fall. Amanda watched Nick go into Brian's house and then she went into her own, making a mental note to never dump anyone again.


	35. Chapter 35

Brian sat in his living room with the lights off feeling the worst he had felt in a long time. Wiping his eyes, he couldn't help but wonder why Amanda had broken up with him. He had been a good boyfriend, why didn't she love him back? Fresh tears welled in his eyes as a knock came on his door. Wiping his eyes once more, Brian found Nick standing on his doorstep. Nick. That was it.....she was in love with Nick. How could he have been so selfish to think Amanda could be his when Nick loved her? Brian smiled weakly at his friend and let him into the house. 

"You all right?" Nick asked softly after a few moments. 

"Not really..." Brian replied, sniffling. Nick searched for something to say, but did not want to pry. 

"I know what you need." Nick grinned. He took Brian over to his house where they opened a few beers and hung out like they used to do. Brian was Nick's best friend but they hadn't been hanging out as much since Nick got married. Katie did not like him to have friends over or any company for that matter. 

"Thanks for the beer." Brian said as he downed his second bottle. 

"What happened? You wanna talk about it?" Nick said as he drank his third. AJ was sitting with them but he was not drinking, he was there to supervise mostly. Plus, there was a 12 year old in the house that could not be unsupervised. 

"Not really."

"Hey, want to watch a movie?" Nick suggested, holding up a DVD. 

"Star Wars? Really?" AJ teased, laughing. Brian grinned and finished his beer as Nick put the movie in and they started to watch.

"Where ya going, AJ?" Nick asked as AJ left the room. AJ did not answer, he went downstairs to call Amanda. She answered after a few rings sounding down. 

"Hey, are you okay?" he wondered when he noticed she sounded upset. 

"I broke up with Brian tonight." she explained tearfully. 

"No wonder he has been drinking.....he looked pretty depressed when Nick brought him over." AJ said. He was happy in a way that they had broken up, because Nick did not know they were dating and considering how things were going with Katie, he was planning on dumping her real quick. 

"Brian's drinking?" 

"Yeah, he's over here with Nick watching Star Wars....Nick's on his fourth beer already." AJ said with a chuckle. Amanda paused for a while, thinking. 

"How did Brian look when he came over?" she asked. 

"He was crying...his eyes were all red." AJ said. Amanda knew it, Brian couldn't cry in front of a woman....his one flaw. She knew there was one....no man could be totally perfect. 

"Dear lord....they are having a lightsaber fight. Why am I always the sober one?" AJ asked as Nick and Brian were standing on the couch playing with plastic swords and making lightsaber noises. Brian pretended to stab Nick and he fell over dramatically, clutching his side and moaning in pain. 

"You've killed me!!!" Nick shouted drunkenly.

"Hold on, I will save you!" Brian said, but tripped and fell on top of Nick, the two of them giggling.

"Can I come to your house?" AJ begged Amanda, who was laughing. After a while AJ hung up the phone and the movie ended, Nick and Brian were laying on the couches eating popcorn.

"Dude! Throw it into....my mouth and I will do....I will catch it!" Nick said. Brian laughed and tossed the popcorn but it missed and bounced off of Nick's forehead.

"You totally missed!" he giggled, the alcohol flowing through him. 

"I know!" Nick laughed, punching him playfully in the arm and drinking another beer. 

"I think you two have had enough." AJ said, shaking his head at them. 

"Frack..." Brian said suddenly, looking Nick in the eye. 

"Yeah?" 

"I love you." 

"I know." Nick said. The two of   
them laughed hysterically and continued their party, Brian was laughing and smiling as he drank....trying to erase the pain filling the hole where his heart once was. Nick did not know why Brian had been upset, but was glad to cheer him up for a while.


	36. Chapter 36

"Happy Birthday to me," Nick said after he had gotten off the phone with his manager. Nothing was going right for him at all today. Nick looked around his empty house and sighed again, this time in frustration. Nobody was around to celebrate his 25th birthday....the whole house was empty and his "wife" was not anywhere to be found. Wife. The thought of Katie being his wife angered him and upset him. Nick had found out that Katie had fooled him.....tricked him into marriage. On top of this, she had been gone for almost three days now. Nick rubbed his forehead, trying to brush away the oncoming headache he was about to get. Nick took out his phone and called Amanda, the one person he knew could make him feel better. 

"Nick, you all right?" she asked when she heard his voice. 

"Mind if I stop by for a while?" he asked. Amanda was a bit confused because Nick usually did not call before he showed up at her house. Amanda opened the door and Nick stood there, looking defeated. His eyes were a little red and he looked depressed. 

"Happy birthday, Nick. You want to come in?" Amanda said, and he smiled a little, running a hand through his hair. 

"What's wrong?" she asked as she closed the door and offered him to sit down. Nick was always a happy person....when he was down like this it was almost always something serious. 

"This whole day is fucked up. I just got yelled at by my manager over the phone for an hour. Conference call.....they are nagging me about touring." Nick said, raising his voice a little.

"Touring?" Amanda said, raising an eyebrow. 

"I told them I can't.....I have too many responsibilities here and I can't leave them. I just won custody of Aaron, how would it look if I suddenly take off for six months?" Nick said. 

"What did they say?" 

"Well, basically they said it is not their problem and I could take him on tour with me. I don't want to pull him out of school. I want him to go to school and get a proper education like I did."

"That's true....so what are you going to do?" Amanda asked as she sat down next to him. 

"I'm not going to tour....I told them I can't do it. They said that if I don't tour, they will drop me from the label." 

"Oh, Nick....I'm sorry. You really need to get rid of that manager of yours, he sounds like he doesn't care about the artists he is representing." Amanda replied. 

"I can't be away from you and Celine. I would rather give up music than not be able to see my daughter." Nick told her tearfully. Amanda smiled at him saying this about his daughter. He was really proving to her he was ready to have his rights back....the fact he was willing to give up his career for her was astounding. 

"Nick, you are amazing....have I told you that? Can't you talk to JC about maybe helping you find another manager? Anyone would be lucky to have you!" Amanda said. 

"On top of all this, Katie has not been home in three days....hasn't called and her phone is off." Nick said angrily, looking at his feet. As much as he hated Katie for what she did to him, he would never forgive himself if something had happened to her. Not again....not like his first marriage. He had received a call from the police in Aruba that they were closing the case on Tracy's murder and the killers were not found. So many things were running through his mind at once, and the tears finally fell. 

"Are you worried about her?" Amanda asked, as he wiped his eyes. Nick was always open with his emotions and did not hide when he was upset. He looked for comfort instead of retreating, a quality that she liked about him. 

"Yeah....she is my....well we are married." Nick said, unable to speak the word "wife." Amanda chuckled at the face he made when talking about Katie. 

"Nick, can I be honest with you?" she said suddenly. Nick nodded, still feeling bad but not crying anymore. 

"Katie was never right for you. You deserve so much better...." 

"Someone like you." Nick said, unable to stop himself. He blushed and looked away from her...he did not see her smile. 

"Wait here." Amanda told him before getting up and leaving the room. Nick's eyes followed her for a while and she came back holding papers in her hand...she also held his daughter. Nick looked down at his feet at the sight of her. He felt his eyes water at the thought his daughter was not his legally and he had no rights to her at all. 

"Remember this?" she asked, holding the first paper up so he could look at it. Of course he remembered it...it was the paper he had refused to sign when his daughter was born...the paper giving up his rights as her true father. Nick bit his lip as his eyes fell upon Lance's signature where his should have been. 

"Say goodbye to it..." Amanda replied as she tore the paper. 

"What are you doing?" Nick asked, looking at her in shock. She finished tearing up the paper and threw it in the air like confetti. 

"You have proved to me you are a good father for Celine.....you are willing to give up your music career just to be with your daughter." Amanda said, a smile on her face and her eyes watering with happiness. 

"Oh my God..." Nick whispered with a smile as he saw the other paper she held, which was a paper naming him as the father of Celine. Nick started to cry again but this time he was so happy he had no words. He took his daughter and held her, kissing her face and hugging her as he cried. 

"Happy Birthday, Nick." Amanda said as she watched him, feeling the best she had felt in a long time.


	37. Chapter 37

Nick held his daughter in his arms and had never felt happier in his whole life. He kissed her cheek and stroked her hair, a grin spread across his face. Celine was really his now, legally. He couldn't believe it still as he put the baby in the crib. 

"I was so foolish to give you up, Celine...do you forgive daddy for being an idiot?" Nick asked. Celine responded with a small giggle, her eyes following him as he leaned against the crib and looked down at her. 

"Celine....you are one of the best things in my life, I swear I will be a good dad. I won't let anything happen to you." he whispered. Celine smiled at him and he grinned back at her. Amanda was watching from the doorway as he talked to the baby. Nick had no idea she was there until he heard her leave, but kept talking anyway. 

"I love your mom....you think I got a shot with her?" Nick asked with a chuckle. Celine responded with some grunting noises as if she were trying to talk. 

"I agree on that one." Nick said, as if he understood what she was trying to say. After a while Nick started to sing her to sleep, his voice gentle and soft. 

 

I'd go anywhere for you  
Anywhere you ask me to   
I'd do anything for you   
Anything you want me to 

Your love as far as I can see   
Is all I'm ever gonna need   
There's one thing for sure I know its true  
Baby I'd go anywhere for you 

I used to think that dreams were just for sentimental fools   
And I'd never find someone that would give their love so true   
But I knew the very minute   
Couldn't live my life without you in it   
And I want the whole wide world to know.... 

 

Amanda heard the song and had tears in her eyes as Nick kissed their daughter and walked over to Amanda's bedroom. 

"She's asleep." he said, not meeting her gaze. Amanda looked beautiful and he couldn't stop himself from looking at her for long. 

"I'll go sleep on the couch." Nick replied sheepishly. 

"The bed is big enough for the two of us." Amanda said. Nick raised an eyebrow at this and his thoughts drifted to Katie. He decided he no longer cared about her and got into the bed with Amanda. A few hours later, he opened his eyes and looked around....it was three in the morning and he was wide awake. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply.

"You all right?" Amanda said suddenly into his ear. 

"Can't sleep." Nick responded flatly, feeling another headache coming on. Katie was interrupting his thoughts....what she would say about where he was and who he was with.

"I will help you relax." Amanda said as she told him to lay down. She swung her knee over him and knelt with him between her legs. She began massaging his shoulders in a gentle circular motion. She could not believe how tense his muscles were and did not envy him at all. Being a musician, Nick had more stress than most people had all morning. She moved to his lower back and he loosened up a little, sighing with pleasure. 

"That feels so good..." he muttered, now in a state of relaxation. Rolling over, he leaned up and kissed her. Adjusting his position, he kept going....and Amanda was reminded of her feelings for him....not that she had forgotten, but his lips were soft against hers. Kissing slowly, he moved to her neck....her shoulder. Nick did not care about Katie any more....he only wanted Amanda....she wanted him. Nothing would stop them that night.....they made magic. It felt wonderful for the two of them, like they were the only two people on earth and nothing would get in the way of them being together. The next morning, Nick left the house and a sinking feeling had appeared in his chest....he was going to regret going home.


	38. Chapter 38

Nick walked into his kitchen the next morning and smelled smoke. He panicked for a moment then began to laugh. 

"What happened?" he asked as he watched Aaron hold up a black object, an extremely burnt piece of bread. 

"AJ tried to make me breakfast..." Aaron giggled as he tapped the bread on the counter and it made   
a clunking noise. 

"Toast isn't supposed to clunk, Aje." Nick chuckled. 

"I know that....where have you been all night?" AJ said with a knowing smile. 

"That's none of your business." Nick grinned, the two of them just speaking with their eyes. 

"Happy Birthday," AJ said, handing him a card. 

"Thanks....what's that?" Nick asked, noticing a large envelope on the counter. 

"I don't know. It was on our porch this morning." 

"Smurfette is home, by the way." AJ added. 

"Is she really? Jay, can you bring my brother to school? I need to have a nice chat with miss Katie." Nick said with an evil grin. AJ agreed and Aaron followed him out the door. Nick heard her shoes clicking on the hardwood floor coming towards him. Her face was an inch from his, and she did not look pleased at all.

"Where the hell have you been?" she demanded, hands on her hips. When Nick did not answer, she pushed him into the counter. 

"Answer me." 

"I don't owe you shit, Katie." Nick said, his eyes narrowed. 

"What did you say?" she said, her face tense. Nick stared her down....resisting the urge to throttle her for what she had done to him. 

"I should be the one asking YOU where you went. Three days you were gone, Katie!!!" Nick screamed. 

"You didn't bother to check on me,"

"That is bullshit. I have been calling you and texting you, what if something had happened?" Nick said. Katie said nothing at first, she simply laughed. 

"I was away...." 

"Yeah, I know that! But you could have called!" Nick shouted. He hated it when she played this game with him, like he was the stupid one. She always treated him like he was some kind of an idiot.

"Katie, what day was yesterday?" Nick asked suddenly, even though he knew she did not care enough to know it was his birthday. 

"Tuesday?" she responded, looking confused. Nick sighed and walked away from her, shaking his head, his blonde hair falling in front of his eyes. 

"Where are you going?" Katie yelled, running after him. She grabbed his arm and pulled him back to face her. 

"I'm done with you." he said softly, the words echoing in the hallway. Katie started to ask him what he meant but he looked angry. For the first time, he looked genuinely angry with her. He held up a photo in his hands, a photo of Katie making out with a guy in a club...groping him. 

"Anybody look familiar?" Nick said as his face turned red. Katie's brown eyes went wide as she looked at the photo and she changed her expression. 

"Where did you get that?" she yelled, still acting like she didn't know. 

"That's not the point, Katie. How long has this been going on for?" he asked, his eyes watering. He blinked them away....he did not want her to know how hurt he was, but more so how angry he was. He had enough of her lies, her games. 

"Baby, I would never do anything to hurt you...." Katie started. Nick rolled his eyes and shook his head at her again. 

"Don't start that crap." he snapped at her. 

"Why don't you believe me? I'm your wife!" Katie shouted, pushing him again. Nick looked angrier than before, she could see fire in his eyes. 

"MY WIFE???? That's what you said, right? You're my wife?" he screamed, his face in front of hers and his temper rising. Katie began to protest as Nick yelled, his voice booming. 

"I'm your wife!" Katie repeated, standing her ground. She did not feel afraid in front of Nick. He was too gentle of a person to do anything to her, she had nothing to worry about. She knew he wouldn't be angry for long, and then the two of them would go back to normal. 

"Our marriage is a joke." Nick said, laughing. 

"Baby...."

"I AM NOT YOUR BABY!!!" Nick screamed at the top of his voice. 

"How dare you talk to me like that!!" Katie screamed, raising her hand to hit him. Nick grabbed onto her wrist and held her back. She tried to release her wrist but he held it tight. 

"Let go of me......I'm your wife...." Katie said through clenched teeth. Nick held up a paper in his hand as he let her go. 

"You keep saying you're my wife. But that doesn't mean a goddamn thing to me anymore. You see this paper?" he shouted. 

"That's our marriage license...." Katie said in disbelief. A smile slowly crept upon Nick's face and he looked at the paper, then started to tear it up in front of her.   
"Are you crazy?????" 

"No.....I'm doing what I should have done weeks ago. I had a nice chat with my lawyer, Denise." Nick said, still grinning. 

"What does she gave to do with anything?" Katie asked as Nick threw the papers he had torn on the ground. His face was cold....his eyes empty of feeling as he looked at her. 

"Next time you trick someone into marrying you, make sure the chapel you are married in is actually legal." Nick told her flatly. Katie's eyes grew wide once more and she backed away from him in shock. How had he figured out that the marriage was a scam?

"We are finished, Katie. We were never married in the first place....you are out of here." 

"You can't do that! I will take you for everything you have...." Katie screamed as Nick walked away from her. He turned around again and laughed. 

"Watch me." he said as he went into her bedroom. 

"What are you doing?" Katie shouted, when Nick returned with his arms full of her clothes. She protested and screamed, cried and begged as Nick walked out onto the porch and threw them onto the front lawn. Nick felt so good as he did this, he was finally getting rid of her.


	39. Chapter 39

Nick had just finished rehearsals for the day and Amanda had come over to the house to hang out for a while. 

"So, Nick...the Grammy Awards are coming. Did you get an invite?" AJ asked as he came into the kitchen. 

"Crap! I forgot all about that!" Nick exclaimed, slapping his forehead. 

"You're in the music industry. How the hell do you forget the Grammy's?" Amanda laughed. 

"I have been so busy dealing with...HER, that I forgot I was nominated for Record Of The Year." Nick said. AJ and Amanda stared at him in shock. 

"Record Of The Year? That is a big  
award!" 

"I know that, Jay. I have to be there, but I need a date. Its gonna look bad if I show up alone." Nick told them as Joey walked into the room. They all looked at him in surprise. Joey hardly left his room because he worked strange hours and slept during the day. 

"Hi, Joey." Amanda smiled. 

"Hey." he said. Joey got a drink from the fridge and sat down at the table with them. Nick gave him a funny look but then continued. 

"Amanda, would you mind coming to the Grammys with me? As friends?" Nick asked. Amanda felt a little disappointed by the just friends comment, but she had never been to an awards show, how could she pass that up?

"Sure! There is a problem...what the hell do I wear?" Amanda asked. She knew she didn't have anything exciting in her wardrobe for the awards show, and would be embarrassed to show up in something that came from Macy's or Walmart.

"I'm sure we can work something out." Nick replied. 

"Nick, the Grammys are in two weeks!" Amanda snapped. Most celebrities had months to prepare for an awards show. Their dresses took a long time to prepare. It was then that Joey surprised everyone by speaking up. 

"I could help with that." he said, and everyone turned to look at him. 

"What do you mean, Joey?" Nick asked. Joey smiled and led Amanda down the stairs to his room in the basement. Nick followed out of curiosity and Aaron trailed behind him. They were all in awe at his room, it was filled with fabric and measuring tape, drawings of clothes...boxes of sequins and lace. 

"Joey...what is all this?" Amanda asked with a stunned expression. 

"I design clothes for a living. I could design your dress for the Grammys." Joey replied. 

"Wow, this is amazing." Amanda said as she looked through his sketch pad. Joey seemed talented enough to pull it off. 

"I had no idea you did any of this." Nick replied. 

"Well, your brother is a big help...right Aaron?" Joey said, and Aaron nodded as he came into the room. 

"He is?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow. He was happy that his brother had found something he liked to do, but deep down he wished his brother wanted to pursue music. Nick decided he would be happy with no matter what Aaron wanted to do for a living. Two weeks later, the dress was finished, and Amanda came to the house to have it fitted. She stood in front of the mirror and checked it over carefully. 

"What are you doing?" Nick asked, laughing. 

"Making sure Aaron didn't mess with it like he did to Katie's dress." Amanda replied. 

"He really likes you..I wouldn't worry about it." Nick told her. The awards show was in Los Angeles, so she and Nick flew there and stayed in a hotel together. Amanda was amazed at the treatment Nick received. It was really the first time she had ever seen him act like the celebrity he was. They rode in limos and flew first class, and the hotel room was enormous and extravagant. The whole time, Nick was still Nick....the one she grew up with. His demeanor never changed even though people treated him like a rockstar. Amanda got ready for the awards show in their hotel room and when she came out there was a man standing with Nick in the kitchen area. He was about Brian's height, a foot shorter than Nick. He looked very handsome in the suit he was wearing. 

"You must be Amanda. Its a pleasure to meet you." the man replied with a smile. 

"This is my new manager, Howie." Nick explained. Howie was one of AJ's friends and he introduced the two of them after Nick had fired his old manager. Nick was happy with Howie so far, he was a lot nicer than his old one. 

"Nice to meet you." Amanda grinned. The three of them got into their limo and drove to the Staples Center. 

"How you feeling?" Nick asked after a period of silence. Amanda looked beautiful that night, the dress Joey had made looked gorgeous and Nick couldn't stop staring at her. 

"Nervous." she replied, playing with her strap on her handbag. Nick took her hand in his, and their heartbeats were in sync with one another. 

"It will be fine...trust me." Nick said, looking into her eyes. 

"So are the two of you dating?" Howie asked, noticing the chemistry they seemed to have. 

"Oh, we are just friends." Nick said. Amanda felt like crying...she knew Nick loved her. They were both single now, and she had dumped Brian for him. Throughout the night he kept telling people they were just friends. Amanda did not say anything to him, but secretly wanted to slap him. She couldn't understand why he had not asked her out or at least told her his feelings for her. Nick won his award for Record Of The Year, he was so happy he kissed her. They finally got back to the hotel at 5 in the morning...Nick sleeping off the champagne he had been drinking. As she watched him sleep, Amanda hoped he was dreaming of her.  



	40. Chapter 40

AJ walked into the room with a smirk on his face and dressed in a leather jacket and a nice pair of jeans. Nick looked up from the video game he was playing with Aaron and was distracted long enough to get his player killed twice. 

"Where you going all dressed up?" Nick asked, sitting up on the leather couch. 

"Nick, I'm winning!" Aaron said, his eyes glued to the television and pressing buttons rapidly on the game controller, his tongue hanging from the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. Nick pressed one button and Aaron's character died instantly. 

"Hey..."

"Not winning anymore, eh?" Nick chuckled. He ruffled his brother's hair and looked at AJ again.

"Really, where are you going?" he asked. 

"I got a date tonight." AJ responded, looking at himself in the hallway mirror and fixing his jacket. 

"Gross." Aaron commented, since he had stopped playing. AJ laughed and Nick joined him. 

"You are 12, but soon you will start liking girls too." he said. 

"Who are you going out with, anyways?" Nick asked as AJ moved towards the door. 

"Amanda." AJ replied with a self satisfied grin. Nick did a double take and stood up, then started to laugh. 

"Stop lying, Jay."

"No, really. I am going to pick her up right now." 

"No you aren't." 

"Yes I am." AJ argued, grinning. Nick shook his head in protest, his temper rising steadily. 

"You ask her out all the time and she always says no. Why would she start saying yes now?" Nick demanded, following AJ to his car. 

"Well, she is single. Amanda is a beautiful woman, she won't wait forever." AJ replied before pulling out of the driveway. Nick went into the house and paced the room for about ten minutes, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He had waited to ask Amanda out because of all the legal things Katie was trying to drag him into....and now he was an to lose her again to AJ. Sure, they were good friends...but Nick knew Amanda didn't like AJ. Did she? It was this question that troubled him. 

"Nick, are you okay?" Aaron asked, watching him from the couch. 

"Get your jacket." Nick instructed. The two brothers got into the SUV and Nick drove in search of AJ. Nick owned two cars, a Ferrari and an SUV. The SUV was mostly for bringing Aaron to school so they didn't stand out. 

"Why are we following AJ?" Aaron asked after a while, when they pulled into the parking lot of the bowling alley. Nick did not answer his brother, he watched carefully as AJ and Amanda walked in, both of them laughing. Nick followed them inside, wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. 

"You never told me.." Aaron started again, but Nick shushed him. He thought it was odd that they were going bowling in the first place. He couldn't remember if Amanda even liked bowling...he had never been himself. Aaron started to talk again, but Nick threw him a dirty look. 

"What's with all the questions?" Nick whispered angrily. Aaron fell silent and looked away as Nick watched Amanda and AJ bowling. They seemed to be having a good time, the two of them laughing and talking. He had to stop himself twice from walking over and telling Amanda he loved her, but decided against it. Nick had let her slip away once, he would not let it happen again. Everything seemed innocent until Nick saw AJ lean in and kiss her. Aaron made a face at this and Nick sighed, wondering why it upset him. He led Aaron to the car and they drove home in silence. 

"Nick.." Aaron said, looking at him. 

"I'm fine, if that's what you were going to ask me." Nick snapped as he wiped his eye. 

"I thought you liked Amanda..." 

"I do, Aaron." Nick sighed heavily. 

"Why don't you tell her-" 

"You are too young for this...I will figure it out." Nick replied as they went into the house. Nick went to his room and did some thinking, he had to ask Amanda out before she went on another date with AJ. Time was running out and he knew it was now or never.


	41. Chapter 41

"I give up, Jay. Nick is never going to ask me out." Amanda said over the phone in frustration. The date with AJ had failed miserably...it had been almost a week and Nick had not asked her out yet. She was becoming restless now that she and Nick were both single at the same time. If Nick loved her, he would have jumped at her the minute he was free. 

"He still hasn't asked you? I thought that date would have motivated him. Nick followed us and everything....what's wrong with him?" AJ said. Amanda headed back towards the house, sighing. 

"I'm never dating again, AJ. If Nick has given up, then so have I." 

"Just have faith. Nick will ask you...I'm sure of this. He loves you." AJ replied. Amanda looked up and smiled....there was a single rose taped to her front door. 

"I take it back." Amanda said before hanging up on him. The rose smelled of Nick's cologne and had a note attached. It said to meet him on the beach. About ten minutes after she had found the note, a delivery came for her. A long box containing a red dress had arrived, along with shoes to match. Amanda put it on and got ready before talking the baby with her to Nick's house. AJ answered the door and smiled as he took her daughter. 

"Wow!" he exclaimed as she laughed. 

"Nick bought this for me."

"I told you he would ask you," he replied. Amanda walked back to the deck overlooking the beach behind Nick's house and was met with candlelight surrounding her. Rose petals littered the stairs leading down to the beach followed by more candles and rose petals. Lights twinkled in the trees and Amanda was stunned at how much Nick had gone through to set all of this up. Shaking a little in anticipation, she took off her shoes and walked down the beach. Two rows of candles made a pathway through the sand until she saw a little platform with a table. Candles on the table flickered as she neared it. Nick stood next to it, his back facing her. He wore a dark suit with a powder blue dress shirt underneath and dark pants. Amanda stood there in silence until he turned around and handed her a red rose. 

"I saved one for you," he whispered, grinning. He looked gorgeous, the shirt he was wearing brought out his eyes. A soft breeze rustled his hair slightly as Nick pulled out a chair for her and let her sit down, placing a napkin over he lap. He moved towards the plate in front of her and removed the cover. A steaming plate of fettucini was under it, and the smell made her mouth water. Nick poured them both champagne and they ate, Nick watching her carefully. 

"This is wonderful, where did you get this?" Amanda asked. Nick looked down and blushed slightly. 

"My kitchen," he said with a chuckle. 

"Really? Where did you learn to cook like this?" 

"When I was young...my mom taught me to cook...I made all the meals. I learned some more in school, I just kind of...picked it up." Nick explained. He couldn't stop staring at her, she looked breathtaking that night, her eyes twinkling in the candlelight. He had made dessert too, some kind of cake. 

"Nick, why did you wait so long?" Amanda asked all of a sudden. Nick looked up at her, confused.

"Why did you wait to ask me out, I mean?" 

"You want to know the truth?" Nick said sheepishly, wiping chocolate from the corner of his mouth and licking his lips before drinking champagne. 

"I had wanted to ask you out when I came back from my first tour. Being away from you during those six months killed me and I missed you a lot." Nick told her. 

"Okay, but-" Amanda started, but he held up his hand. 

"When I came back you were engaged to Lance."

"Nick, if you had told me then that you loved me, I would have left him to be with you. Marrying Lance was a big mistake." Amanda stated. 

"Really?"

"Yes, really! I have always cared for you, Nick." Amanda said softly, taking his hand. 

"Well, I had come back from tour to tell you how I felt and Lance got to me first." Nick explained. 

"Lance talked to you?" Amanda asked, setting down her fork. Nick nodded, his gaze drifting to the water nearby, as the waves grazed the shoreline. The ocean was calm that night, the moonlight dancing on the water. 

"Yes, he said that I had no chance with you and you deserved better than me. Someone stable who could be there for you." Nick replied, his memory coming back. Amanda was shocked to hear her ex husband had said this just to deter Nick from expressing his feelings. After they talked Nick led her onto the sand. 

"Would you like to dance?" Nick asked, bowing a little. Amanda giggled and gave him a funny look. 

"There's no music..." she said. Nick clapped his hands and out of nowhere, music played... 

"This isn't what I think it is." 

"Yes, its the song we danced to at our senior prom. When I got my first..." Nick started, but he was interrupted by her lips. They danced right on the beach, her head resting gently on his shoulder. Nick had never felt more happy in his life as he did right now holding Amanda close to him, swaying to the music in the sand. They sat on a blanket on the beach and kissed for what seemed eternity before Nick stopped and looked into her eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a scream coming from the house....his brother ran towards them crying. Nick stood up in concern and his brother clung to him, sobbing. 

"Please don't let me go back to her!!" Aaron sobbed. The color drained from Nick's face and he took off running towards the house, leaving Amanda dumbfounded.


	42. Chapter 42

Nick raced towards the house, almost tripping in the sand as he went. His heart was pounding at the thought of her returning. He knew she meant to take Aaron away from him....although he had won custody of his brother in court. Nick had promised his brother he wouldn't go back to her after he saw the marks on his back, the scratches and dark bruises dotting his body. As he ran up the stairs, Nick felt his chest tighten as he thought of what he had endured as a child. Going hungry for days on end, being locked up in closets and basements, being kicked and thrown around....the verbal and physical abuse he went through was all coming back, his mother's words echoing in his mind. He raced into the house and saw her standing there, looking angry. She hadn't changed much since he had seen her last. Jane Carter stared at him, her eyes narrowed and watching him with disgust. A little boy cried and Nick shook him away, not wanting to relive it again. 

"What have you done with him?" Jane asked, her tone dripping with sarcasm. Nick couldn't speak, he felt a lump in his throat and his hands were shaking as he pictured himself as a child getting beaten in the same room they stood in. The child's screams rang in Nick's ears and his eyes began to water. 

"You have no business being here." Nick said, his voice barely audible. He couldn't bring himself to even call her his mother. 

"Aaron doesn't belong here, he's coming home with me." Jane said bitterly. Nick closed his eyes, the fear overpowering him. He slowly walked towards her, his hands shaking with every step. 

"You're not taking him. I would   
rather die before I let him go with you." he snapped. 

"I can arrange that, Nickolas." Jane said in a hollow voice. He blinked at her, did she just threaten to kill him? He barely had finished the thought when a fist came across his face. He almost fell but regained his balance quickly and wiped blood from his lip. Looking at the blood on his hand, he blinked in shock. After all these years of being away from his mother, free of abuse...here she was again. 

"How dare you touch me." Nick shouted, tears in his eyes. Jane stood there, smiling at him because she had wanted him to react. She was determined to leave the house with Aaron, at all costs. 

"Where is my son?" she asked, her hand striking again. This time Nick did fall, landing on his side. He didn't move for a while, paralyzed by fear. Nick felt the warm tears on his face and felt ashamed that he was crying in front of her. He saw her move towards him again and he got up, his legs wobbly. 

"He-he's not going with you."

"Still the same little boy. You always were weak." Jane laughed, grinning at him. Nick heard the child crying again and blinked again, clenching his fists. 

"I'm not weak." he said defiantly, his tone stronger. 

"You always were. Just like your good for nothing father." 

"At least Dad apologized for leaving. You hurt me for 10 years....." Nick started, and again the hand came....but this time it never touched him. 

"What are you doing? Let go of me." Jane said, as Nick held her back. She tried to strike him but her hand was locked in his. 

"You're never touching either of us again. Aaron will never go back to you, I won custody of him fair and square." Nick shouted at her. Amanda came into the room at that moment, Aaron trailing behind. 

"Come on, sweetheart, you're coming with me." Jane said sweetly, her arms outstretched towards Aaron. The boy cowered at the sight of her, clinging to Amanda's dress as the tears rolled down his cheeks. He gently shook his head, blonde hair falling in front of his eyes. 

"I said he isn't going with you!" Nick screamed. He heard his daughter crying in AJ's arms and felt enraged. He closed his eyes again, hearing his five year old self begging for mercy. Jane moved towards Amanda to grab Aaron, he hid behind her and yelped in fear. Nick stepped in front of them, his arms outstretched and protecting them. Amanda backed away in shock, staring at Jane in disbelief. 

"Nick..." Aaron sobbed, his face pale with terror. 

"Stay away from him!" Nick hollered, his voice booming. She shoved him into the wall, Amanda and Aaron jumping out of the way. Nick made a noise as he hit the wall and Amanda cried out to him, frightened. Nick raised his hand to let her know he was okay and regained his balance. 

"Aaron is all I have left. You can't possibly take good care of him." 

"Right. That's why the courts took him from you. I saw the bruises. You will never touch him again....I will make damn sure of it." Nick said. All of a sudden, Brian appeared in the room, fully dressed in his police uniform and looking angry. 

"What's going on here?" Brian growled, crossing his arms. His tired eyes fell upon the blood on Nick's face and he understood. 

"Mrs. Carter, you are violating not one, but two restraining orders." he said sternly, crossing the room.   
"I have done nothing wrong, officer." Jane responded nastily, rolling her eyes. She turned to run for the door but Brian blocked her path. 

"Hmmm we can add on resisting arrest on to the list." Brian quipped. Nick had to suppress a laugh at that point. Brian was a good policeman, he would take care of it in no time. Sure enough, Brian handcuffed her and led her outside as she screamed insults at him. Drawing a sigh of relief, Nick fell to his knees, his eyes facing the floor. His Grammy award sat in front of him, partially broken. Nick didn't care, he wiped his eyes and sighed again as his brother ran over to him and wrapped his arms around him, crying. 

"Are you okay?" Aaron asked as Nick smiled weakly. 

"I am now." 

"She isn't coming back, is she?" Aaron asked as Nick hugged him tightly, holding him as if he would never let go. 

"She is gone, kiddo. She can't hurt us anymore." Nick whispered with a smile. As Amanda watched them and calmed her daughter down, she smiled. Even though her perfect night had been ruined, she was really proud of Nick and loved him even more.


	43. Chapter 43

"I'm so proud of you..." Amanda said as Nick walked her home. She lived a street over from him and there was no sense in taking the car. Nick blushed a little and looked at his feet. Amanda thought it was adorable when he did this, it was childlike in a way. 

"Thank you." he said finally, looking at her. She looked amazing in the dress he had bought her, it glinted in the moonlight as they walked, their footsteps in sync with one another. 

"You look beautiful tonight." Nick said, and he meant it. Amanda grinned and adjusted the baby in her arms. 

"Thank you for the dress." she replied. 

"You deserve it." Nick said, his eyes meeting hers as they rounded the corner and walked up her street. Amanda never understood why Nick treated her so good, she was simply a good friend to him and felt she didn't deserve these gifts he gave her. 

"I'm nothing special, Nick. You don't have to." 

"You're special to me..." Nick said, flashing his famous grin at her. They finally reached her house and Nick followed her inside. Amanda knew Nick wanted to get back to his brother, but her plan was for Nick to spend the night. She knew he would....especially after a dinner like the one they had. Nick helped put Celine to bed and came out into the hallway to see Amanda dressed in a satin robe that hugged her curves.

"I really should be...". He started to speak but she had kissed him. They parted and Nick was clearly blown away. He looked puzzled for a second and laughed nervously. 

"You were saying?" Amanda giggled coyly. Nick kissed her again and felt the passion building. There was no way he was going home with her looking the way she did. Nick never finished his thought, the two of them went into the bedroom, kissing as they went and Nick took off his dress shirt and tossed it aside. They both wanted it, wanted each other. Laying in bed, they kissed for a long time before Nick suddenly stopped, his lips hovering over her face. Amanda was slightly disappointed, giving him a look of concern. 

"What's wrong?" she asked, a hand on his shoulder. Nick looked at her and smiled. 

"Nothings wrong....this is....this is perfect." he whispered. Amanda grinned at him, not able to take her eyes off his body. She kissed him again but he didn't return it....not she was worried. 

"Nick...." she started, but he held up his hand. 

"Amanda, you have been a big part of my life. You have helped me through so many things....you are the only one who understands me." Nick said suddenly. 

"You have been here for me too." Amanda smiled. 

"From the minute we met I knew we would end up together." Nick told her, taking her hand and kissing it. Amanda thought back to when she had met Nick. They were only ten years old, how could he have known it then? She decided she had felt something too at that age, but she had been too young. 

"I love you, Amanda." Nick said, looking directly into her eyes. Amanda blinked at him in shock. The three words she had been longing for him to say to her....hoping and praying he would speak to her, had finally escaped his lips. 

"Say it again." she whispered as she felt her eyes water.

"I love you....I always have, and I always will." Nick said again, and this time she cried. Nick had tears in his eyes as well as he kissed her and they hugged. 

"You have no idea how long I have waited to hear those words." Amanda laughed, wiping her eyes as he kissed her. He grinned and she kissed him back, running her hands through his hair. 

"Sorry it took so long." he replied, blushing. They made love that night, but it was different this time...they belonged to each other....they could sleep together with no regrets or repercussions at all, no worries of pain or guilt, no secrets. It was the two of them finally being together, finally able to express how they felt. The next morning, Amanda woke with her head on his bare shoulder, his arm draped around her as he slept. She smiled, knowing it was real....it hadn't been a dream. Nick was hers, all hers. His eyes opened and he looked at her, his mouth curled into a grin as he had the same thought. 

"Hey." he whispered, and Amanda giggled, kissing his shoulder. He stroked her soft hair and kissed her as well. He realized he should be heading home and told her he had to go, but started kissing her. He began to get dressed as she watched. Amanda didn't want him to leave her now that they had admitted their feelings, but understood Nick had to check on his brother. Nick kissed her again at the door and walked out into the street, his jacket hung over his shoulder. He saw Brian getting out of his car. Brian walked over to him and looked at him angrily....Nick knew nothing good would come out of this.


	44. Chapter 44

"So, have a good night?" Brian asked, putting on a fake smile for his friend. Nick wandered over to Brian's driveway, his jacket slung over his shoulder. Nick knew to be cautious of Brian at this time, Brian did not look very happy to see him. 

"Yeah...it went really well until my mother showed up." Nick chuckled. The two of them stood near Brian's car, the one Nick had bought him when he got his record deal. Brian gave him a look as if he was daring Nick to ask him how his night was. 

"Well, your mother gave me a hard time last night." Brian said, his eyes not moving from Nick's. 

"Sorry about that, I really appreciate that you did that. She was trying to take my brother." Nick explained. 

"You realize I was trying to call you all night to come make a statement, and you ignored your phone?" Brian told him angrily. Nick wasn't really listening, he was thinking of the amazing night he had with Amanda. Brian noticed the smirk on Nick's face and snapped his fingers to jar him out of the daydream. 

"What? Oh, sorry.....I was...busy." Nick responded with a grin. 

"Nick, because of that I had to work a double shift on two hours of sleep. So I take it you and Amanda are together now?" Brian snapped. Nick looked at him in confusion. He didn't understand why Brian was so angry, or why when he mentioned Amanda he looked upset. 

"I'm sorry, Bri....I didn't know....but yeah, I told her everything. It felt so good..." Nick   
began. 

"Well, you better not screw this up....if you hurt her I will kick your ass." Brian practically shouted at him. Nick was taken aback by this statement. Brian should be happy for him, he was the one who kept telling him he should let Amanda know he loved her. 

"Brian, you sound like a jealous boyfriend. That sounded like something Lance would say." Nick pointed out, and this seemed to infuriate Brian more. 

"Amanda is an amazing woman and I don't want to see her hurt." Brian replied. 

"Come on, Frick. It's not like you dated her or something." Nick joked. The two of them fell silent and Brian looked down at his feet.   
"You didn't, did you?" 

"Yes, we dated." Brian answered with a heavy sigh. He was so tired and all he wanted was to go to bed and forget everything, but now that seemed like it wouldn't   
happen. 

"When?" Nick asked, his eyes narrowed. He felt the air growing tense and knew he had to tread lightly from this point onward. 

"While you were 'married' to Katie. She was single and I asked her out." 

"How long?" came the next question. 

"We broke up last week." 

"Why?" Nick asked before he could stop himself.

"I told her that I loved her." Brian said, his eyes watering.   
"I'm sorry Brian...."

"Really? Well, I'm sorry too. I guess she would rather have a rockstar than me." Brian answered sadly. 

"Amanda loves me for who I am, not what I have." Nick said. 

"If she had been with me, she would not have chosen you....you don't deserve someone like Amanda." Brian sneered. Nick was devastated upon hearing these words, he was floored. Nick couldn't say anything...he simply walked away, walked home and locked himself in the bathroom. He filled the bathtub and lay there for a while, thinking. He knew Brian was wrong about Amanda, was obviously upset. He couldn't help but think about what Lance had said when he had come back from his first tour overseas. Nick was starting to think maybe Brian was right, but quickly shook the feeling away as he emptied the water from the bathtub and got ready for rehearsals. Amanda was happy to see him and ran over to kiss him, but when Nick hesitated she had to question why. AJ had told her Nick was upset, but she wondered why. 

"What's wrong, baby?" Amanda asked, as they sat down on the stage. 

"Brian..." Nick whispered, sighing. Amanda was fearing the worst, that something happened to Brian and he was hurt. 

"Is he okay?" 

"We had a fight." Nick explained, looking at his feet. 

"Mind if I ask what it was about?" 

"He said that you and him dated while I was 'married' to Katie." 

"That's true, Nick...but..." 

"Its okay...I'm not mad, I was with someone. You had a right to date anybody you wanted." Nick told her. Amanda was impressed with his answer and maturity of handling that information. 

"So Brian said you broke up with him because he told you he loved   
you." 

"Which is also true, Nick." Amanda said. She had a feeling Brian was still hurt by the breakup but he had done a good job of hiding it from her. 

"Brian told me that if he had been with you, that I would have no chance." Nick said, wiping his eyes. Amanda's mouth fell open and she did not speak....Brian was not one to say something like that and it infuriated her. 

"Nick, that is ridiculous. I have wanted to be with you for a long time. How dare he say that to you?" 

"Its not like him....I guess he has been under stress from working so much and not sleeping." Nick stated thoughtfully. 

"I don't give a damn if he was tired, he is a jerk for talking to you like that and for saying that about me. Don't worry, I will deal with him myself." Amanda said, and as she watched Nick rehearse, she got angrier by the minute and knew that this was nowhere near over.


	45. Chapter 45

Leaving rehearsals, Amanda got into her car and still felt angry about what Nick had told her. Nick had always looked up to Brian in a way, put him on a pedestal. Brian was always the one he wanted to be like, and for him to hurt Nick so....it just made her blood boil. Brian was not known for being so nasty usually, so she wondered if his rudeness stemmed from the fact that he was not over the breakup. She drove to Brian's house to pick up her daughter, going through her mind what she would say to him. She still cared for Brian like a brother, and this pushed away a lot of thoughts she was having. Brian lived in a small house a street over from Nick's. He had a well kept yard and a fence because of his dog. He owned a very small dog, a Chihuahua. He was often worried about him getting loose so he put up a chain link fence around the property. Amanda walked up to the door and rang the bell. After a few minutes he answered. 

"Hi, Amanda." he said brightly, inviting her in. 

"Bad day?" Brian added after he noticed the expression on her face. Her hand came across his face with such force that it stung his skin. 

"What the hell was that for?" he demanded, rubbing his face. 

"How dare you speak on my personal life?" Amanda shouted at him, her eyes glaring at him.

"What are you talking about?" Brian asked as they walked into the living room. Celine was in the playpen, looking content. Amanda had to give it to Brian, he had such a way with kids that she would never understand. 

"You had a chat with Nick this morning..." she snapped. Brian looked down at his feet and rubbed his neck sheepishly. 

"Oh...that." was all he could manage. 

"Brian, Nick still looks up to you like when you two were ten years old. For you to talk to him like that, it was hurtful." 

"I was angry at the time. I had to work a double shift on no sleep, and then I ended up dealing with his stupid mother. Then to see him walking out of your house in the morning....it killed me and I snapped." Brian explained, feeling ashamed. He really felt horrible for saying the things he did and would give anything to take it all back. 

"It still doesn't excuse what you said. You really heart him and me. If you are still upset over the breakup, you should have talked to me about it." Amanda said, her tone gradually becoming calmer. She could see he was truly being sincere, he was torn up about acting the way he had done. 

"Amanda...I will always care for you. I should not have come between Nick and you....I was just getting in the way." 

"Don't feel like that, Bri. If my heart didn't belong to Nick, believe me...I would have stayed with you. You're a wonderful guy." 

"I am sorry for the rockstar comment too. That was out of line and I had no right saying that." Brian pointed out. Amanda took her daughter and turned to him before leaving the house. 

"You need to be saying this to Nick, not me." she replied before she went across the street. Brian headed right over to Nick's house where he found him in the driveway with Aaron, building something while Aaron rolled around on his skateboard. 

"Make it higher," the boy said as he rolled past and into the street. 

"Don't go too far," Nick called after him as he hammered. 

"Hey," Brian said suddenly. Nick glanced up and did not speak, but the hammer hit the wood a bit harder than normal. 

"Nick, I wanted to talk to you about what I said this morning." Brian started. Tap. Tap. Tap. Nick hammered away, still not meeting his gaze. He got up and went to the woodpile and chose another piece, then began hammering again. 

"Please talk to me." Brian said, his voice a bit louder. 

"There is nothing to talk about. You said enough." Nick snapped darkly. Brian looked away from him, watching Aaron for a moment as he did tricks on the skateboard. 

"I didn't mean any of that. I was tired..." 

"That's your excuse? Brian...you were the last person expected to berate me like that." Nick replied with hurt in his voice. 

"I wish I could take it all back. I am so sorry I said that to you." 

"Damn it!" Nick shouted, the hammer hitting his thumb. He retracted and shook it, pain shooting through his hand. 

"Let's go inside, you should probably put ice on that." Brian suggested. The two of them went into Nick's kitchen and Brian helped him get some ice for his throbbing hand. 

"I'm sorry I made you bring up dating Amanda. I understand why you were angry, I would have been furious if it were me." Nick said as he held the ice on his hand, feeling a bit calmer. 

"Nick, its all right. You and her belong together...I was being selfish." Brian said with a grin. 

"I am going to ask her to move in with me," Nick told him after they had talked for a while. 

"That's great. Its about time you two got together." Brian laughed. 

"Yeah, I know. So do you think she will do it?"

"If I know Amanda like I think I do, she would do anything you asked her." Brian grinned. That night after Nick's show Amanda walked into his dressing room and Nick greeted her with a kiss. It was nice that they didn't have to hide their feelings anymore and Nick could express himself freely. 

"Great show tonight, baby! I wasn't sure how you would be tonight." Amanda said, kissing him back. 

"Well, Brian came to talk to me. Everything is okay..." Nick explained with a grin. 

"I am so glad you two made up." Amanda said. She was surprised that Nick and Brian had patched things up so quickly, Nick was not one to forgive easily and Brian was stubborn. 

"I actually wanted to ask you something." Nick said suddenly. Amanda raised an eyebrow at him...he could ask her one of a million things. Was he about to propose...she hoped so as she stared into his eyes, his eyes searching for just the right words.


	46. Chapter 46

"What did you want to ask me, Nick?" Amanda said as he kissed her once more in the dressing room. 

"I would like you to move in with us." Nick told her, grinning. Amanda had actually been thinking about this for a while, but was waiting to discuss it with Nick first, because she didn't know how he would feel about anything. 

"That's great, baby....but what about my house? The market is bad right now and I wouldn't be able to sell it." she replied. 

"I could buy it from you." Nick suggested with a grin. She looked at him as if he had lost his mind. 

"Nick....that's insane. You don't need another house!" Amanda laughed. Nick laughed with her but his expression changed. 

"Not for me, for Joey." Amanda stared at him in disbelief. Nick wanted to buy Joey a house. Joey was his roommate who had the other basement room next to AJ. He was a clothing designer, so they all found out recently when Amanda needed a dress to wear for the Grammy awards. Since Amanda wore his design, he was now getting lots of work by people calling him. Unfortunately his room was so small he was limited to how many dresses he could work on. 

"What about AJ?" she asked, thinking of how AJ had been Nick's first roommate and had been living there since high school. Nick and AJ both shared expenses of the house and AJ had helped Nick through a lot when he was living on his own. 

"He doesn't want to move." Nick said simply. 

"Okay, but we should talk it over   
with Joey first." Amanda agreed, smiling as Nick kissed her. It was happening, they were finally moving in together. Nick and Amanda talked to Joey right away. He was ecstatic to have his own place. Once everything was finalized, Joey moved into Amanda's old house, and Amanda moved into Nick's place with the baby. She was excited to be living with Nick, but the moving day wore her out. She and Nick fell asleep next to each other, and it was wonderful because neither of them had to leave in the morning. The next day, Amanda woke up late. She noticed it was ten in the morning and sprung out of bed to attend to the baby. To her surprise, it was very quiet in the house. After getting dressed, Amanda wandered downstairs to find the baby playing in her playpen, looking content. Aaron was at school already and Nick was busily dusting the living room. The place was spotless.

"Morning baby. I put the coffee on for you." Nick replied with a smile. Amanda walked into the kitchen and found a plate of breakfast in the microwave and a pot of coffee was ready for her. Amanda felt spoiled, when she and Lance lived together he was normally gone by 8 in the morning and she hardly saw him until night. Nick was different than most guys she had been with. He was up by seven, took care of the house and still took care of her as well. Nick finished cleaning and came into the kitchen as Amanda ate. He made himself some coffee and sat down at the table to keep her company. 

"Nick, I was thinking. When you became famous, you bought Brian a car. You bought me the nightclub...what did you get AJ?" Amanda asked. 

"I redid the basement room for him. This was right before Joey moved in....it used to be just one room. I made it into two bedrooms and a room for storage. I had a bathroom installed and put in a TV....that's what he wanted." Nick explained. 

"No wonder he doesn't want to leave." Amanda laughed as she sipped her coffee. Nick told her he had to go and do a few things. He left and Amanda had the house to herself for a while. It was relaxing not having to worry about the house not being clean, so she put the baby down for a nap and just relaxed. AJ came home with Aaron that afternoon, having picked him up from school on his way home from work. 

"Hi Aaron." Amanda said as they walked in. AJ went downstairs for a bit and came back up with an armful of clothes. 

"Uh oh." Aaron announced, his brown eyes watching him head   
into the laundry room. 

"What's wrong, Aaron?"

"AJ is about to do laundry!" Aaron told her, looking horrified. Amanda had to laugh at this....Aaron usually made a big deal when somebody other than Nick did the washing. AJ could take care of himself, but sometimes he wasn't sure of what he was doing. Aaron walked into the laundry room where AJ was putting the clothes into the washing machine. 

"That's too much soap, Jay." he said, leaning on the dryer. AJ looked at him skeptically. 

"Amanda, what goes in first, the soap or that fabric stuff?" 

"You can put them both in, but Aaron is right. That is way too much detergent." Amanda said from the kitchen. 

"I don't need a kid to tell me how to do laundry." AJ snapped, closing the machine and turning it on. Aaron and Amanda exchanged glances before leaving the room. About an hour later, Aaron was in the kitchen doing his homework when he saw bubbles coming out under the laundry room door. His eyes went wide and he ran to get Amanda. He brought her into the kitchen and they opened the laundry room door. Bubbles filled the room , along with water that spilled into the kitchen.

"Oh my god." Amanda gasped as she looked at the mess. They couldn't find AJ...he had gone out and Nick was due home any time. Amanda dove into the bubbles and shut off the washing machine as Aaron desperately tried to help her clean it all up.

"Nick is gonna flip!" Aaron shouted, covered in bubbles. The two of them cleaned up almost everything by themselves. A tired looking Nick walked in and stopped when he saw the two of them dripping water in the kitchen. 

"I'm not even gonna ask. I will be in my room." he said as he shuffled upstairs to take a nap. AJ came in soon after. 

"Well at least our clothes our clean," Aaron remarked, and Amanda laughed. 

"AJ I hate you." he said a moment later. 

"Whoa what did I miss?" AJ asked with a smile. 

"We told you it was too much soap, Aje. Now have fun cleaning it up." Amanda said as she handed him the mop. AJ reluctantly mopped the floor and Aaron giggled. 

"AJ is no longer allowed to touch the appliances." Aaron said and the three of them laughed. Amanda decided she liked Nick's house. At least it would never be boring


	47. Chapter 47

Ever since Amanda had moved in, she noticed that AJ liked to walk around the house shirtless every morning after Aaron went to school. One day she decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. She walked into the kitchen wearing boy shorts and a sports bra. He stared at her as she reached into the refrigerator to get some milk. By the time Nick came down for breakfast, she had already gotten dressed.

"AJ, there is a baby and a 12 year old in the house, put a shirt on." Nick admonished. AJ looked sourly at Amanda and walked to his room, grumbling to himself as Amanda smirked. She and Nick sat down for breakfast and she couldn't help but think about how Nick still dressed like he did when he was 15 and hiding his mother's abuse. Nick tended to wear jeans and t shirts most of the time....mostly baggy and loose fitting clothes. He never wore tank tops or shorts even if it was hot outside. 

"Nick....mind if I ask you something?" Amanda said, drinking coffee from her mug.

"Sure. What's up?" 

"How come you don't show off like AJ? You have a great body....you're in shape. Why are you covered up?" Amanda asked thoughtfully. Nick took a bite out of his bagel and stared at her, thinking. He wanted to tell her everything, that he still felt ashamed by how he looked....that every day he felt ugly....that his mother's voice had not left him. He was embarrassed and didn't want Amanda to think he was weak because of his reasoning. 

"There are kids in the house...I don't want Aaron or Celine to get the wrong idea." Nick answered, not meeting her gaze. This was a good reason, but Amanda knew there was more than Nick was telling. She was concerned....the night before she had heard Nick crying in the bathroom. He wasn't telling her the truth and it bothered her, Nick was usually very open with his feelings and hadn't hidden them since high school. She and Nick went about their day, Amanda watching him for any signs that he was upset. Nick went through his normal routine and did not stray from it in the slightest. 

"Nick, are you all right?" Amanda asked, after she noticed how quiet he was. Something was on his mind...he seemed distant. 

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked, putting on a smile for her. She could tell he was lying, his eyes said he was depressed. 

"What's bothering you? Is it because I asked why you don't show off? You look great....you should-" Amanda began. 

"I'm sorry, but I don't like to walk around the house half naked." Nick snapped. 

"Nick..." Amanda called after him as he headed for the back door. 

"I need to be alone for a while." Nick said, his eyes watering. Amanda watched him go, feeling confused. Why was he acting so strange? He had never hid anything from her....always talked when he was bothered. Aaron came home after a while and noticed Amanda looked distressed. 

"What's wrong?" the boy asked, his brown eyes following her through the living room. 

"I'm worried about your brother." she answered softly as she put the baby in her playpen. 

"Is he okay?" 

"He is acting like he is 15 again, something is bothering him and he won't talk to me." Amanda explained. She and Aaron went to the kitchen, and Aaron sat at the table. 

"How?" he asked innocently. 

"I asked him why he doesn't show off like AJ...and he got upset and wouldn't talk about why he was bothered by my question." 

"Amanda, I think I know what this is, let me talk to my brother." Aaron said. Amanda watched him go out the back door and down the beach and smiled. If anyone could get Nick to talk, it would be his brother. Aaron wandered down the beach for a while and found Nick sitting on a rock, staring out at the water. 

"Hey. Mind if I join you?" Aaron said brightly. Nick shrugged his shoulders and did not answer him. 

"What's going on? Want to talk about it?" Aaron asked. 

"Did Amanda put you up to this?" 

"No, Nick.....now what's wrong? Why have you been avoiding everyone?" Aaron said. Nick looked away from him and wiped his eyes. 

"I'm not avoiding-" Nick protested. 

"Yes you are." Aaron interrupted angrily. 

"Amanda asked me why I don't walk around shirtless like AJ does." Nick explained. 

"So why does that bother you?" Aaron asked, raising an eyebrow. Nick scoffed and kicked at some sand, angry with himself. 

"I'm ugly.....who would want to look at me....I'm covered with scars." he replied, his eyes watering. Aaron was surprised at his answer....how could he feel ugly? Nick was famous....had girls practically throwing themselves at him....he was handsome. 

"Are you serious?" Aaron blurted without thinking. Nick lifted his shirt to show Aaron what he was talking about....scars were there but not visible unless someone was looking for them. They were hardly noticeable, and Aaron pointed this out. 

"It doesn't change the fact that I know they are still there, Aaron." Nick said coldly, putting the shirt back down so it covered his stomach. 

"Nick, Amanda is worried. You need to talk to her about this."   
"I don't want to upset her....she doesn't deserve that." Nick replied. Aaron put his arm around his brother and hugged him. 

"Nick, you have to talk to her or you will lose her. She is more hurt that you're hiding than by the fact you think you're ugly. You're not ugly..." Aaron told him. Nick wiped his eyes, surprised at how wise his little brother was. Aaron was 12 years younger and Nick couldn't believe how mature he was acting. 

"I wish I could be as strong as you, Aaron." Nick said suddenly. This statement shocked Aaron....his big brother wanted to be like him! He felt honored and couldn't help but grin. 

"You ARE strong, Nick. You can fight back....all you have to do is stop listening to what other people tell you and just listen to what Nick thinks." Aaron said wisely. 

"Its not what other people think, it's Mom." Nick explained. 

"What about mom?" 

"Every time I look in the mirror, I   
hear mom's voice." Nick explained gravely. Aaron resented his mother for this. She hadn't gotten to him when he lived with her....but Nick had endured far worse than he had, so he understood why Nick wasn't quite over the abuse. 

"Nick, you have to look in that mirror and fight back....you can't let mom run your life." Aaron said.

"You're right....thanks." Nick said, and the two of them headed back into the house. Nick spent a while in his room while Amanda was downstairs with Aaron. Nick decided it was now or never....he had to face his demons once and for all, or they would consume him. He stood in front of the large mirror in his bathroom, looking at his reflection. His body was perfect, his arms toned and a flat stomach....his abs were defined. Nick took care of himself by working out and eating healthy...he prided on staying fit. He flexed his muscles and stared at himself...until he heard her voice, clear as a bell.

"You're ugly....." his mother said, causing him to flinch. His fingers ran across his stomach and he found a scar there, reminding him of her. 

"Stop it...." he whispered, tears springing to his eyes. Nick gripped the bathroom counter and closed his eyes as her voice came again. 

"Stop it..." he muttered, forcing himself to look again. His 15 year old self appeared in the mirror, malnourished and underweight....bruises covering his body. He could see his ribs and spine...bruises dotted his skin. 

"Nobody wants you..." his mother said bitterly. Nick choked back sobs as she continued. Nick looked up when he heard his brother's voice. 

"Fight her, Nick...." his voice told him. Nick looked and saw the bathroom scale. His mother's voice growing louder by the minute. Nick picked up the scale and flung it at the mirror, causing it to smash, shards of glass flying all over the tiled floor. Breathing heavily....Nick looked into the broken mirror. 

"You....don't....control....me." he said, tears running down his face as Amanda ran into the room with Aaron following behind. She looked at the broken glass, then at Nick. 

"Are you okay? What happened?" Amanda asked in concern. 

"She's gone..." Nick whispered, smiling slightly. 

"Who's gone, baby?" Amanda asked, more worried about the broken shards of glass littering the floor by nick's feet. 

"He's talking about mom." Aaron whispered, and it was then that she understood. She told Nick to lie down and then cleaned up the glass with Aaron's help before getting dinner ready. 

"Aaron, I'm really proud of you for helping your brother like that." Amanda said as she cooked. Aaron stood across the counter and smiled. 

"In a way....he helped me too." the boy said. He was glad that Nick could finally have confidence in himself. Aaron wanted Nick to be happy....after all, he deserved it.


	48. Chapter 48

Nick woke up the next day feeling like a weight had lifted off of his shoulders. It was morning, about 7am. He got Aaron to school and once he got home, he walked down the beach for a while, thinking. He sat there for a long time, staring out at the water as the breeze rustled his hair. He thought of the past two weeks....and of Amanda. He couldn't believe she was finally his...she was with him and he did not have to admire her from afar any longer. It almost seemed like a dream, the way his life was at this point. He thought back to when he was 15 and dreamed of having a family, having people that cared about him. He dreamt of Amanda most of the time, especially when she was away. He had gone three years without her. However, it was not until his very first tour that he realized the feelings he had for Amanda was love. He loved her, would do anything for her. He smiled as he gazed at the ocean, knowing what he had left to do. When he was younger, he had hoped and dreamed to be with Amanda, and now they were living together. He had found his brother, had met his father. He had a wonderful house, had great friends and a great career. There was one thing missing in his mind, and he knew there was only one way to make it happen. After spending time alone, he walked back to the house to find Amanda sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee. 

"Morning baby." Nick said sweetly, kissing her cheek. She grinned and ate her cereal as he sat down.   
"Where were you? You okay?" Amanda asked, watching him. She was a bit worried after what had happened the night before. 

"I just went for a walk...but there is something on my mind." he confessed, pouring himself a coffee. 

"You know you can talk to me about anything, Nick." Amanda said. She placed her hand over his and he smiled at her. Yes, there was this connection between them, even if they did not speak, their eyes could read each other. 

"I would like to meet your parents...." Nick said. She was surprised at his statement, and wondered how this would go, considering that her father had hated Lance when she brought him to meet the family. Amanda was not sure how her mother would handle Nick, not to mention that she had not told her parents that Lance wasn't the father of Celine. 

"That's wonderful, Nick. I think they would love to meet you. We could go for a weekend." she suggested. Nick couldn't wait to meet Amanda's parents. He had often wondered what they were like, if they were as kind and sweet as Amanda was. 

"Great idea."

"They have been dying to see the baby anyway, so it would be perfect." Amanda beamed, before going to call her mother in Jersey. That night at dinner they discussed the upcoming trip. Amanda couldn't wait for Nick to meet her parents, and she knew Nick would get along with them for sure.

"So you two are going away for the weekend?" AJ asked as they ate supper. 

"I'm gonna meet her family." Nick said proudly. 

"Ohh cool!" Aaron said, and Nick playfully pushed him in the arm. 

"When do you leave?" AJ asked. Amanda sat there listening to them talk, smiling. She liked dinner time with Nick, Aaron, and AJ...she enjoyed just watching them interact with each other. Celine liked it too, she giggled and watched her father talk with adoration. Amanda had never thought Nick could be such a good father for Celine. She had known him almost her whole life, ever since they were children. He had always been on his own, so she had been doubtful of his parenting ability. However, it all became clear the day Nick had said he would give up his music career to be with his daughter. He had shown her that he was responsible by taking his brother in, by fighting for him. Nick was a great father for the baby, always paying attention to her and making sure she was happy. 

"Friday, I booked our flight already." Nick told them. 

"So I'm watching Airhead this weekend?" AJ teased. Aaron responded by poking his tongue out and flinging potatoes at him. The two of them continued until Nick glared at them and they stopped. 

"Actually, Aaron can't stay here alone with you." Amanda pointed out as she helped Nick clear the table. 

"Don't worry, I have it all covered. I worked it out so that he can come with us...if that's okay with your parents." Nick replied,   
smiling. 

"You mean I get to go?" Aaron exclaimed, his eyes wide with excitement. 

"I'm sure they won't mind." Amanda assured him. 

"This is going to be fun....I can't wait," Nick said as he kissed her, smiling. Later that night, Nick sat in his recording studio, working on some music that he'd been putting off. He started thinking about the upcoming trip and what he planned to do. He thought back to the last time he flew with Amanda, when his career began. Smiling as he tuned the keyboard, he remembered their days in New York City and spending the nights at her parents house. They had been away but he had seen photographs of them, and they looked like nice people. Hell, if they liked Lance they would certainly like him. Nick wanted desperately for this trip to go well, because if it didn't...his plans for Amanda would be ruined. So Friday came and they all went to the airport. Aaron was fascinated by the airport, it was his first time there. 

"Stay with me and don't go out of my sight." Nick instructed as he checked in their luggage. 

"I will." Aaron said, looking at the crowds of people. Aaron had always been interested in flying and airplanes, but had never told Nick about it. He wanted very much to be a pilot when he was older. Aaron sat glued to the window as the four of them waited to board the plane, Amanda holding the baby in her arms. Nick smiled at his brother but it soon faded as he heard the familiar sound of heeled shoes clicking behind them.

"How dare you!" the shrill voice called from behind Nick, and he turned in surprise to see her standing there, looking angry and ready for a fight. Nick was not ready for this, he knew it wouldn't be pretty.


	49. Chapter 49

Nick stared Katie down with hate in his eyes. 

"You son of a bitch...." Katie said, her voice shaking with anger. Nick suppressed a laugh....well, she was right about his mother being a bitch, he thought bitterly. Now was not the time to dwell on his mother. 

"What, Katie? Are you upset   
because you couldn't get my money?" he snapped coldly. 

"I deserve it after what you put me through!" she screamed, her brown eyes furious. Amanda watched the two of them, shaking her head as they faced off. Nick laughed at Katie as she ranted, which made her even more furious. 

"How dare you laugh at me. You caused me so much..."

"So much what? Pain? I doubt it. That marriage was such a joke that I'm not sure if I should even call it a marriage!" Nick shouted   
at her. 

"You put me through emotional distress!" Katie protested, pretending to shed tears. Nick shook away his thoughts and continued to stare her down. 

"Wow, those are big words. I'm surprised you even know what emotional distress means. You clearly are not under stress, especially after tricking me into marrying you so you could collect." 

"You fucking asshole...all you cared about was that little bitch." Katie said, 

"Are you talking about me?" Amanda piped up from the table. She had been silent until now, holding herself back from throttling the blonde woman. 

"The only reason Nick likes you is because of that." Katie said, pointing at the baby in her arms. Nick watched Amanda carefully to see what she would do and saw her growing furious.

"Nick loved me before Celine came along! Don't bring the baby into this." Amanda shot at her. 

"I am not trapped by our daughter...I love them." Nick said, smiling. Katie was not happy to hear this statement. She was hoping that Nick would verbally attack her or at least cause a commotion, but nothing she did was working. Nick's voice remained unchanged, his face without expression. 

"All she wants is a father for the baby. She doesn't care about you! I did." she continued. Nick almost laughed in her face. He knew Amanda wasn't using the baby to be with him. He loved her so much....he didn't care if she had three kids. Katie tried to make Nick fight her in the middle of the crowded terminal, but nothing was working....it was then that she laid her eyes on Aaron. She turned to face him, fire in her eyes. 

"YOU!" she screamed suddenly. Aaron jumped and promptly hid behind Amanda. 

"Leave him alone." Nick warned as Katie strode over to Amanda and knocked her out of the way, causing her to almost drop the baby. Amanda watched Nick's face...he was fuming. Nick's fists clenched as he watched Katie push Amanda. 

"DON'T TOUCH THEM..." he hollered, his voice booming. 

"You little bastard!" Katie was trying to get at Aaron as he hid under the table...her manicured hand reaching for him as he struggled. She grabbed him by the wrist and began pulling him out. 

"Nick!" Aaron screamed, tears running down his face. 

"You humiliated me...now you'll pay." Katie said as she raised her hand to strike. As her hand moved, Aaron flinched but it never struck. Nick had grabbed her wrist and was screaming at her. 

"How dare you touch my family!" Nick yelled as airport security held the two of them apart. Katie cursed at him as they dragged her away. 

"This isn't the last of me, Carter. I will get my revenge!" she shouted. Nick helped up his brother and sighed, glad to see the back of her again.

"You really need a restraining order on her, Nick." Amanda commented as Aaron wiped his eyes. A bruise formed around his wrist and he looked up at Nick, his eyes still watering. 

"I'm sorry....I'm so sorry." he sobbed, his arms around Nick's   
waist. 

"Aaron, its okay. She is gone." Nick told him. Just then the flight was beginning to board, so all four of them got on the plane headed for New Jersey. Nick sat by the window, sighing as he rubbed his aching head. 

"You all right, Amanda?" he asked, holding her hand. 

"Yes I'm fine. Katie is a jerk." Amanda replied. She wanted to call her something else but decided to hold back since the children were present. Nick took gum out of his pocket and handed it to Aaron, who was on the other side of Amanda.

"What's this for?" he asked.

"Chew it so it makes your ears   
pop. It helps with the pressure when we take off." Nick explained, remembering his first flight. He smiled at Amanda as his brother chewed on the gum. Amanda remembered that she had told Nick this when they had flown to New York together when Nick was 18. Nick had to go for an audition with RCA records. 

"I can't wait to meet your parents. This will be fun." Nick said, kissing her gently on the cheek as the plane taxied. As they took off, Amanda hoped Nick and her parents would get along, hoped they would like him as much as she did.


	50. Chapter 50

Adjusting the sleeping baby in his arms, Nick looked out of the window and watched the scenery pass by. He was mere minutes from arriving at Amanda's childhood home, to meet her family. He had been wanting to meet them for a long time, ever since they had met. He wondered what kind of people her parents were and if they were as amazing as she was. He hoped they liked him, and that he would like them. Nick wanted to belong to a family more than anything in the world, it was a wish of his to have parents that cared, that were around when he needed advice or someone to talk to. Amanda noticed Nick was deep in thought and smiled as she looked at the road ahead. She had no idea that Nick was just as nervous about the trip as she was, if not more. Amanda knew that her father would be difficult, after all he had hated Lance when she married him. Her father was very traditional and protective of her, and she was worried he would scare Nick off. Pulling into the driveway, Amanda looked up at the house. It was two   
stories tall, brown with black shutters. There was a large front yard that sloped upward to meet the road, and a set of stairs led to the front door. Nick took the baby, and Amanda led the way to the house with Aaron trailing behind. 

"This is it," Amanda said gravely as she rang the doorbell. 

"I'm ready." Nick grinned as the door opened. Amanda's mother rushed to her and hugged her excitedly, nearly knocking Nick over. 

"My baby's home!" she exclaimed, as she let her go. 

"Good to see you too, Mom." Amanda replied, blushing profusely. Giving Nick and Aaron a funny look, Amanda's mother let them into the house. 

"Well let's not stand here in the cold, come on in." she instructed. Nick walked into the warm house, glad to be out of the February chill. He hated the cold weather in New Jersey, he preferred Florida any day of the week. Nick opened his mouth to say something, but Amanda's mother interrupted him. 

"I see you brought your nanny, but where is Lance?" Ouch. Nick made a face at this comment, looking at Amanda as if asking why her mother didn't know who he was. 

"This is Nick, and his brother Aaron." 

"Isn't he young to be watching Celine? I thought an older nanny would be in order." Amanda's mother said, and Nick mouthed the word nanny to Amanda, raising an eyebrow. He nodded to her and she shrugged her shoulders in reply. 

"Mother, Lance and I are divorced, and Nick is my boyfriend." Amanda said in frustration. Her mother sure could be pigheaded sometimes, and it annoyed her. 

"And who is this little angel?" her mother asked as she spied Aaron hiding behind Nick. Aaron grinned at her as she looked at him. 

"This is my brother Aaron. I hope its alright if he stays with us, I am responsible for him and couldn't leave him alone as he is only twelve." Nick explained as Amanda took the baby from him. 

"Well, I am sure you are hungry after your trip." 

Amanda's mother said with a warm smile, and Aaron nodded. She offered to make everyone lunch.   
"I will help you in the kitchen." Nick offered. 

"Nonsense, you're a guest." Amanda's mother protested, but Nick edned up following her to the kitchen. Nick walked in knowing fully well what he was getting himself into being in a room alone with her, but he didn't care. He was determined to talk to Amanda's parents. 

"Thank you for understanding about my brother, I really appreciate it." Nick said. 

"So how old are you, Nick?"

"I just turned 25 last month....January 28th." Nick explained. She turned, her brown eyes looking him over as he blushed. He could feel her watching him as he moved around the kitchen, and his heartbeat quickened. He felt nervous but at the same time there was a sense of calm as well. 

"How long have you known Amanda? I don't think she told us anything about a boyfriend. I didn't know she and Lance had divorced." 

"Amanda and I met when we were ten-"

"Wait, are you the same Nick that she went to visit in Florida? As in Nick and Brian?" Amanda's mother asked. Nick had to smile at this because Amanda must have talked about them when she left Florida as a teenager.   
"Yes I am. Brian is my best friend. So is Amanda. I guess she told you about me?" Nick chuckled. 

"She talked of you quite a bit growing up. Begged us to death to go to Florida to see you and Brian, she missed both of you." she told him. 

"Amanda has been a big part of my life. She helped me through a lot." Nick stated. 

"If you don't mind me asking, Nick....you're Celine's father aren't you? May I ask how this happened?" 

Dumbfounded, Nick opened his mouth to speak, wondering how she had figured this out. Nobody had told her the truth about Celine or the divorce. 

"Wondering how I can tell, aren't you? The baby has your eyes."

"Yes Celine is mine....Lance isn't her father, I am." Nick said shakily, trying not to meet her gaze, but he could feel her eyes following him around the kitchen. 

"Mind telling me how this happened? If you and my daughter haven't been together that long, how did Celine come into the picture?" she asked. Nick took a deep breath and told her everything, he knew it was important for him not to lie to Amanda's mother. 

"A year ago I was on my honeymoon in Aruba. I had just gotten married..."

"You were married before?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Nick knew he shouldn't have brought Tracy into the conversation. It was hard enough dealing with her death than to suddenly be reminded of how much he missed her, how he blamed himself for the manner in which she passed.

"I was married, to a friend of Amanda's....Tracy. She was killed in front of me during our honeymoon from a stray bullet. They were going to shoot me but she jumped into the crossfire to save my life." Nick said, feeling his eyes water. His chest felt tight but he regained composure, not able to cry in front of a woman he had just met. 

"That must have been hard for you. You're only 25, its rough being widowed at a young age. Do you think of her often?" 

"Every single day. I miss her a lot...it was very hard for me," Nick whispered. Amanda's mother embraced him and he took another calming breath. 

"It left me heartbroken to say the least. I couldn't come back to FLorida alone so I called Amanda, the one person who understood me. Next thing I knew, our emotions got the best of us and we slept together." Nick told her. She stood there silent for a long time, letting Nick get it out of his system. 

"So you mentioned you're responsible for your brother." Amanda's mother said, trying to change the topic. Nick was answering everything she threw at him and he felt confident that she liked his answers. 

"Aaron is my brother, we met at thanksgiving. He showed up on my porch and I took him in. I am his legal guardian, so I am responsible if anything happens to him."

"You're very mature for a 25 year old, it seems like you have your life together."

"Thank you. I have been on my own since 18, so I had to learn to take care of myself quickly. I take care of the bills, cook and clean, do laundry, and make sure my brother does well in school." Nick explained. 

"That's wonderful. Most men don't cook or clean. So what are your plans with my daughter?" she asked with a smile.

"To be honest, I want to marry her. I can't imagine my life without her." Nick said as they put the lunch onto trays. 

"How do you know you're ready for this commitment?"

"We have been living together and raising Celine, so its almost like we are married already. I just want to make it official." 

"I would be happy to have you in the family, Nick. You're a wonderful man for Amanda."

"I really appreciate that. I like you as well." Nick said. He helped her being the food to the dining room with a smile on his face, thinking that now he only had to win over her father and he would be set. Little did he know how much of a challenge that would be.


	51. Chapter 51

Aaron listened to the adults talking as they ate lunch. He had no idea what they were discussing, so he focused solely on the window across the dining table. He knew better than to interrupt, but something outside had caught his eye and he suddenly jumped out of his chair and dashed to the window, pressing his face against the cold glass. 

"Nick, its snowing!" the boy said excitedly, his brown eyes twinkling. A wide grin appeared on Nick's face and he went to the window to look at the falling snow. About two or three inches had fallen already, the large flakes floating past the windowpane. 

"Yep, that's snow all right." Nick grinned again. 

"Can we go outside?" Aaron begged, tugging on his big brother's arm. Nick looked at Amanda, who laughed. 

"Baby, you need permission?" she teased. Nick and Aaron got on their coats and Amanda dressed the baby so everyone could go outside. Nick was the first to walk down the porch steps, holding the handrail as his feet began to slide on the ice covering the sidewalk.

"Nick, be careful. There is a lot of ice out here." Amanda cautioned. Nick turned and laughed. 

"Don't worry, baby. I will be FINE!" he said, but the last word turned into a yelp as he slid and fell squarely on his backside. "You all right?" Amanda said as she suppressed a laugh. Nick stood shakily and had to hold onto the railing to keep from falling a second time. Aaron giggled at him but seconds later he slipped on the same spot as Nick. He didn't fall but got his balance quickly. Amanda had the baby in one hand and a camera in the other taking pictures of the boys experiencing their first snow. Back in Florida, Nick had told Amanda that he had wished to see snow since he was very young. So Amanda picked this particular weekend to come to New Jersey because they were expecting a big snowstorm. She didn't tell Nick or Aaron about the blizzard that was coming, she simply wanted them to see the snow. Nick seemed more excited than his brother was, and he had regressed about ten years. Aaron and Nick were chasing each other and throwing snow, laughing as they darted through the snowflakes. Amanda laughed and took lots of pictures as the baby smiled. Pretty soon she took Celine inside so she wouldn't get cold and left the boys outside. Amanda's mother helped her change Celine out of the pink snow suit she was dressed in. 

"Amanda?" Linda asked all of a sudden, sitting down by the window and watching the boys. 

"Yes mother?" Amanda replied as she took the baby's boots and placed them on the floor. 

"Nick and I had a very interesting talk before lunch." Linda said, looking at her daughter. Amanda felt a panic attack coming on as she thought of what her mother discussed with Nick and how Nick handled himself. She had been worried about this since he had expressed that he wanted to meet her parents. Amanda wanted her mother and father to like Nick. She wanted them to get along...for it not to turn out like it had when she and Lance were married. Her father had not liked Lance from the moment they met. Her father was very traditional and very protective of his only daughter.

"Isn't Nick wonderful?" Amanda said with a smile. 

"He is very responsible for such a young age. 25 years old and taking care of that boy on his own. That takes courage." Linda stated. Amanda sighed with relief as her mother praised Nick for his achievements and bravery of taking on so much for his age. 

"Nick said he is widowed, is that true?" Linda asked, her eyebrow raised. Amanda knew this was coming, that Tracy would be brought up eventually now that they were in Jersey.

"Yes, do you remember my friend Tracy from school? Nick married her." she explained. 

"He still misses her..." 

"He does?" Amanda said in surprise. Nick had never come to her and talked about Tracy's death. He had been heartbroken but Amanda didn't know he still thought of her or missed her. She thought it was sweet that he was thinking of his former wife, that he was not completely over it meant he still had feelings for her. Amanda shrugged this off and tried to change the topic. 

"Another concern I have is that he does not have a relationship with his parents. I was hoping to meet them." Linda said, crossing her arms. Great, Amanda thought to herself. She knew this had been coming as well. "Mom, Nick was abused as a child." she said. 

"Oh my God, he was?" her mother gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth in shock. 

"He was abused for ten years, it was very hard for him and he is still dealing with what she did to him." Amanda said quietly. Nick and Aaron were starting to head for the house, so Amanda now wanted this discussion to end quickly. 

"Oh my God. How can a mother do that to their child?" Linda whispered, shaking her head. 

"I want to strangle that woman. Remember when I kept begging to go to Florida? I wanted to make sure he would be okay. She was starving him when I came down during high school." Amanda told her tearfully, remembering how thin and under fed Nick had been, the bruises and welts covering his body. She remembered how the slightest touch could cause him pain....and Amanda wiped a tear away as she sniffed.

"Honey, its okay. He seems like a strong person, he made it through all of that." Linda said as she hugged her daughter. 

"I was so scared for him, mom. He nearly died, I don't want to lose him." Her mother held her and nodded, realizing that Amanda and Nick's love was genuine. Amanda composed herself as Nick and Aaron came back inside from the snow, white flakes dotting their blonde heads. 

"Have fun?" Amanda said, putting on a smile as Nick walked over and kissed her on the cheek, his face red with cold. 

"That was great, baby. Thank you." Nick whispered. Amanda's mother went to get them hot chocolate as the boys got out of their coats and wet clothes. Linda walked back into the room with the mugs and handed one to both boys, but her eyes narrowed as Aaron took his. She saw the large bruise on his wrist, which was now swollen. 

"Oh God." Nick said as he realized what she was looking at.   
"Where did that come from?" Linda demanded, her brown eyes glaring at Nick. Nick shook his head and his eyes wide in protest.   
"Mother, I can explain..." 

"Shut up, Amanda. Let Aaron tell us what happened." 

"Linda...please..." Nick begged. She did not listen, but she crouched in front of Aaron and smiled sweetly at him. 

"Aaron, how did this happen to your arm?" she asked kindly. As if on cue, Aaron looked up at his brother. Nick shook his head and whispered but Aaron looked back at Amanda's mother, his eyes welling with tears. 

"Don't look at your brother, answer me. Did he do this?" Linda said. Aaron began to cry then, not helping matters for Nick at all. 

"Mom, Nick wouldn't hurt him!" Amanda protested. Linda glared at Nick and said something about repeating the cycle of abuse. 

"Listen here. I am responsible for my brother, I would never harm him! It was my ex, Katie. She was at the airport and tried to hurt him." Nick explained angrily. 

"You are making me question the safety of my granddaughter." Linda said as she sat down next to Aaron, who had tears running down his face. 

"Nick didn't do anything!" Aaron said suddenly, causing the adults to stop fighting. They all looked at him in surprise. 

"Nick is the best brother in the whole world, he would never hurt me." Aaron stated. Nick smiled as Linda apologized to him for thinking that way. It had been a very interesting and long day, but Nick knew he still had to talk to Amanda's father, and it was not going to be easy.


	52. Chapter 52

Nick woke up the next morning to see a blanket of snow on the ground. After having breakfast, he offered to help shovel the walk and driveway for Amanda's father. Aaron and Amanda helped by cleaning off the buried cars in the driveway. Nick stepped outside and was shocked to discover the snow was almost up to his knees. 

"Nick, be careful....its pretty deep, I would say it snowed two feet last night." Amanda cautioned as she and Aaron headed for the cars. Gripping the shovel with both hands, Nick dug into the snow. He was not expecting it to be so heavy, as it was wet snow and not powder. He almost lost his balance trying to lift the shovel but after two tries he mustered enough strength to pick it up. 

"Don't overdo it, Nick. This is heavy snow....you can hurt your back." Amanda called. Nick waved at her and kept going. After about an hour or so, Nick finished and his back was so sore he had to walk carefully into the house. Amanda walked into the bedroom and saw him holding his back, trying to rub it one handed. 

"Need some help?" she asked with a smile. She walked over and gave him a long backrub.

"That feels wonderful." Nick said, sighing with pleasure. He loved Amanda for this...she always knew just what to do to make him content and happy. He never had to tell her or ask her if he needed anything, she always seemed to know. She knew Nick like the back of her hand. Amanda could tell what was bothering her boyfriend without him saying anything at all, and Nick was the same with her. He knew just what she needed to be happy. After resting a while, Nick spent time with the baby, putting her down for a nap. He sang her to sleep, his voice gentle and soft. When Celine was asleep, Nick turned to walk out of the room, but saw Amanda's father in the hallway. 

"Hello," Nick said, his mind already warning him that this was no friendly visit. John's face was without expression as he walked towards Nick, his footsteps heavy on the carpet.

"That's a nice singing voice you have there." he commented. 

"Thank you," Nick said, caught off guard by the compliment. 

"I would like to have a chat with you, Nick. If that's all right." he said softly. Nick nodded, his heart beating faster as he felt that familiar lump forming in his throat, the one that usually appeared when he was nervous. 

"Okay." Nick said, barely audible as he followed John into the open room nearby. The room was a little small, with a desk and chairs, bookcases lined the walls. Nick walked in and looked around, he felt his heart beat faster. Nick had never liked small rooms, they made him uncomfortable. 

"Have a seat, Nick." John said with a small grin. Nick sat in the armchair in front of the desk. He watched as Amanda's father closed the door behind them and walked over to the desk, sitting down in front of him like an officer about to start an interrogation. Nick glanced nervously at the closed door, feeling beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Nick did not like enclosed spaces. When he was home he never closed the door in a room, he always left it open slightly. Nick had been locked in enough closets and basements as a child, and he had this claustrophobia as a result of his abuse. 

"You wanted to talk to me, sir?" Nick said softly, trying to keep his composure. Amanda's father sat across from him, his arms folded and leaning on the desk between them, his brown eyes boring into Nick's. 

"What is your last name?" John asked in a serious tone. Nick knew he was about to be questioned by Amanda's father, and any wrong answer would cause him to screw everything up. 

"Carter." Nick replied. 

"Nick Carter....your name sounds familiar." John said, nodding. 

"Amanda might have talked about me when we were growing up." Nick offered without thinking.

"How long have you known my daughter?" John asked. Nick kept looking at the closed door, knowing there was no way to escape this questioning. 

"Since we were ten, sir. We went to school together in Florida." Yes, this answer seemed good. The questioning continued, and Nick answered everything that was thrown at him, just Iike he was in an interview. He felt more confident as the minutes passed. 

"So what do you do for a living, Nick?" John asked, standing up, and wandering over to the bookshelf as if he was looking for something to read. 

"I sing....I'm a solo artist." Nick explained. He worried if Amanda's father was going to approve of his music career, that he would accept him for who he was. 

"Have you been doing this for a   
while, Nick?"

"Since I was 19, sir. I'm 25 now." he answered, as Amanda's father paced the room. 

"You have quite a gift. Do you plan on doing this as a career for a long time?" he asked. Nick looked at his feet, he had not thought of the day when his music career would end, how he would support his family, but he knew he had enough money put away just in case. 

"Yes, I enjoy making music. I plan on doing it as long as I can." Nick replied with a smile. 

"How long have you and Amanda been together?" John said after a brief silence. Nick knew this had been coming...when he would start asking about Celine and how she was his daughter when Lance and Amanda were married. 

"A few weeks." Nick told him, not meeting his gaze. The lump in his throat tightened again and he swallowed, beads of sweat forming on his forehead once more. 

"My wife tells me that you are the true father to Celine. So my question is this. If Lance was married to Amanda when the baby was conceived, then how is Celine your daughter?" Uh oh. Nick had no idea how to answer this question, so he just said the first thing that came to mind. 

"A year ago I was married to a friend of Amanda's. She passed away on our honeymoon." he explained with a sigh. He had been trying for nearly a year to block out Tracy's death but it kept coming to haunt him. 

"I'm sorry for your loss, Nick. It's not easy to lose someone like that." 

"No, it wasn't easy at all. I couldn't bear to make the trip back on my own so I called Amanda. Our emotions got the best of us and we slept together. A few months later she told me she was pregnant with my child." Nick replied. 

"So why did Amanda tell us the baby was Lance's?" John asked. Nick flashed back to the day Celine was born and was reminded of how much it hurt to let her go, telling Amanda that he was giving her up. 

"I didn't sign the papers....I felt that if I signed those papers it would ruin their marriage. Lance was so happy to be a father, I couldn't take that from him. So I gave away the rights to my daughter." Nick explained, looking at his feet in shame. 

"That must have been difficult for you, I see you love Celine very much." 

"Yes, it was the hardest choice I ever made in my whole life. Amanda and Lance split up a few months ago, so she gave me the rights back on my birthday." Nick told him with a smile. 

"You gave away rights to your daughter to save Amanda's marriage?" John said in surprise. He looked at Nick, raising his eyebrow at him. Nick wondered if he was making a good impression. 

"Yes, I did. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, to give up my daughter. I love her more than anything in the world. I'm sure as a father you'd understand." he answered. Nick was feeling slightly more confident as the minutes passed. 

"You're a very responsible young man, Nick. But what exactly are your intentions with Amanda?" 

"I actually came up here to meet you both because I want to marry your daughter." 

"You're asking me for permission?" 

"Yes sir. I love her." Nick said. John surprised him by smiling warmly. 

"That is wonderful to hear. Lance never asked me for permission to marry Amanda, he never came to talk to me." he explained. Nick had to hold back his smile, act like he wasn't happy to hear this information. 

"Sir, I would feel the same way about Celine. She is my only daughter and all I want is her to be happy." he told him. After their conversation, John excused Nick and went to talk to Amanda, to find out what she thought of being with Nick. Nick had made sense to him, and he wanted to make sure Amanda was completely happy. 

"Hi, daddy." Amanda said as she hugged her father. She had always had a good relationship with her parents since she was very young. 

"Sweetheart, are you happy with Nick? Does he treat you well?" he asked her. 

"Daddy, Nick is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He always makes sure I'm taken care of, and he is a wonderful father. I love him." Amanda replied. Later on that day she saw Nick being hugged by her father. 

"Welcome to the family, son." he said as he patted Nick on the back and shook his hand. Nick had a big smile on his face, and Amanda teared up. She had no idea how he had done it, but her father liked Nick. That to her meant the world. Nick could finally have a family like she had, her parents seemed to really like him. Everything was going perfectly, she just wanted it to stay that way.


	53. Chapter 53

Nick looked out of the window of the airplane, feeling nausea taking over. He never had a problem flying before, but wondered why he wasn't feeling well. Shifting in his seat, he tried to get comfortable but couldn't. They were halfway back to Florida, Aaron sleeping next to him and Amanda holding the baby. Nick couldn't help but smile to himself as he thought of how much he loved her and his new family....how he planned to propose. On the flight back home, Nick thought back to the last few days and grinned contentedly. Everything was going exactly to plan...and now that they were to be engaged, Nick couldn't stop thinking of Amanda as his wife. His dreams were finally all coming true...he would marry her and then everything would be perfect. Shifting once more in his seat, his stomach was in knots. He couldn't fall asleep for some reason, so he was awake all the way back to Miami International Airport. Once they had landed, Nick held Celine as Amanda helped get their bags. Amanda felt tired and so did Aaron and the baby. She couldn't wait to sleep in her own bed once more. They weren't even out of the airport when Nick's BlackBerry began to ring. 

"Hello?" Nick answered. Amanda smiled and shook her head at her boyfriend. 

"Who is calling him? We just landed." she muttered, a little annoyed. She should have known Nick wouldn't be left alone once they got back from her parents house. Nick came back as they were leaving the airport and going to the car. 

"That was Howie. I have to work on a few songs tonight." Nick explained as he got behind the wheel. He felt very tired and drained already but knew that studio time was in order that night and he would be working late. Once they got home, Nick went right into the studio and Amanda put the baby down for a nap. 

"How was the trip?" AJ asked as he walked into the room. 

"Nick really impressed my parents. They like him and said Nick is wonderful." Amanda told him. 

"That's great. Do I hear wedding bells?" AJ joked with a grin. He knew how much Nick and Amanda belonged together and was glad things were finally working out for them. 

"God , Jay. That would be wonderful. I'm in love with him....now that I know he loves me just as much, I would love to be married." Amanda said with a smile as she thought of Nick as her husband. Lunch came and went, and so did dinner, but Nick had not come in the house yet. Amanda was disappointed that he didn't come to bed at least, she waited until about two in the morning before laying down. She looked out the window and saw the red light on the door of Nick's studio, and knew he was recording. The next morning, Nick was not at breakfast either.

"Where is Nick?" Aaron asked when he came into the kitchen looking sleepy. 

"He never came out of the studio. Have you seen him, AJ?" Amanda asked as she looked to see if Nick's car was in the driveway. His car was gone, so that meant he had gone to see his manager. Sighing, Amanda was a little worried. Nick had been up all night and had not eaten either. She figured he would sleep once he came home. 

"Baby, aren't you tired?" Amanda asked as she saw him falling asleep at the computer in their office. 

"No, I'm just waiting for this conference call. I have to record more tonight." Nick said with a yawn. He put on a smile for her but his head was hurting him, his body ached. Nick felt his stomach churning as he shifted in the chair. 

"You should take a nap. You look really tired." Amanda suggested. She hated when Nick pretended to be fine when in reality he wasn't at all. Amanda could see the circles under his eyes and that he was pale. 

"Baby, I will be ok." Nick promised, smiling once more as the phone rang. Amanda knew better than to interrupt him so she left the room. Nick was in the studio again that night but came to bed and lay next to her, his stomach growling and churning. He knew he should have eaten but his body wanted him to sleep. Nick lay next to Amanda, putting his arms around her as she slept. Nick knew she felt him, as a smile crept upon her face. The two of them lay there the rest of the night, wrapped around each other. Nick woke up early the next morning feeling awful. Wobbling to the bathroom, he felt nausea taking over again and promptly vomited. He felt so weak that emptying his stomach made him more tired.

"No....no....please not today." Nick whispered as he splashed some cold water on his face and ran a hand through his hair. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw that he was very pale, his eyes had dark circles under them. Nick's legs felt weak as he walked downstairs feeling dizzy. He had to stop himself from fainting at least twice on the way to the kitchen where AJ sat eating cereal. 

"Whoa, dude you look like total crap." AJ commented over his bowl of Cheerios.

"Danks a lob, Aday" Nick said. He was horrified to hear how stuffy and scratched his voice was. AJ smirked at him in amusement. 

"Oh doe." Nick muttered. 

"Nick, maybe you should stay home." AJ said, as Nick coughed. 

"No, Day. I hab a beeding." Nick wheezed, blowing his nose. 

"A beating?" AJ laughed. 

"Doe Aday. A beeding. I hab do go. Howie callb me bebore. Don tell Abanba." Nick sniffled. He hacked again before shuffling out the door. AJ shook his head at the sick blonde, watching him leave. As the day progressed, Nick felt worse. His throat felt like a golf ball was lodged inside, his head ached. On the way to rehearsal, Nick had to pull over and empty his stomach, his breakfast coming back up. He leaned over the blacktop, his hands holding onto his knees for support.

"I can't let her see me like this....not after I promised I was okay." Nick thought as he wobbled back to the car. He could feel the fever taking over him, beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he drove to the nightclub. He had to fight dizziness to just walk up to the door, feeling out of breath. He knew his fever must be over a hundred but was determined to go to rehearsal, his guitar case slung over his shoulder as he walked inside. Amanda was clearly annoyed that he was late. 

"Nick, where were you?" she asked, but her expession softened when she saw how sick he looked. 

"Are you okay?" she asked, trying to hug him. Nick pulled away and smiled, stopping himself from coughing. His stomach was yelling at him and he felt the bile rise in his throat. 

"I wull be dine, bady." he said softly. Amanda knew he was sick because he sounded so stuffy. Nick tuned his guitar and got up on stage. 

"Nick, I don't think this is a good idea. You're obviously sick." Amanda scolded him. Nick started to strum the guitar. 

"Pleade leds dust reburde" came the reply as he sniffled again. He opened his mouth to sing but what came out made everyone cringe, some of the band covered their ears. 

"Whoa whoa whoa. Nick what the HELL was that?" Amanda demanded. Nick blushed, sweat forming on his face as he felt humiliated. 

"Ib fide." he coughed. He tried once more but his voice sounded like a dying wounded animal. 

"That's it Nick. You're going right home and going to bed." Amanda said sternly, annoyed that he had shown up to rehearsal clearly ill. Nick sat down on the stage, feeling dizzier than before. 

"Bady....blease. I...." Nick started before letting out a huge sneeze. 

"Rehearsal is off. You clearly can't sing, Nick." Amanda said. She wasn't angry at him but was concerned as she felt his forehead. He was burning up, his forehead was very hot. 

"Ababda" Nick started but a stern look from her told him he would not win this one. 

"Go home and go right to bed. I will be there later." Amanda instructed as Nick shuffled out of the club looking defeated. Nick drove home, his stomach in knots still. He felt lightheaded, his nose stuffed up and his throat scratched and raw. 

"Wow, you look horrible." AJ observed as Nick wobbled into the kitchen and rummaged through the cabinet.

"Danks a lob Day. I feel lide grab." Nick replied as he made some tea. He went upstairs as AJ answered the phone. 

"Is Nick in bed?" Amanda asked when he picked up. 

"Yeah he just went up to his room. I told him not to go to rehearsal. He looked horrible this morning." AJ told her. Amanda sighed. Nick was sick that morning, which meant that she might be sick too. Once she got home, Amanda went to check on Nick, but he was sleeping. She told AJ to take care of the baby so she wouldn't give her whatever Nick had, and she ordered Chinese food for dinner. Nick didn't come to eat, he spent most of the night in the bathroom and in bed. He hated being sick....because Nick was so active, laying down and doing nothing bothered him. He tried a few times to clean the house or sneak out to the studio but Amanda rushed him back to bed. She took care of him and he liked that she cared so much. A memory resurfaced of his father when he was very young, when he had the flu and his mother didn't care, his father had stayed up all night with him. Nick smiled at the memory, feeling safe. Amanda brought him some toast and soup on a tray to his bedroom. 

"Baby you have to eat something...." Amanda pleaded. Nick took the bread and ate slowly, his stomach already protesting. 

"Feeling better?" Amanda asked, smiling at him. Nick smiled back but had lost his voice so he couldn't speak, he simply nodded at her. Nick fell asleep soon after eating, the fever directing him there. He thought he was asleep for a long time before he woke up feeling better. 

"Nick?" a sweet voice called. Nick's eyes fluttered open and he was not in his room. He blinked and saw everywhere was white, like clouds. The floor under his feet was springy as well. He looked for the person that called his name and saw a woman with dark blonde hair, wearing a white dress. 

"Nick....I have been waiting for you." she said, smiling as she walked over to him and they embraced. He felt the familiar touch of her soft hands and smelled her perfume, drank it all in. 

"Tracy?" he whispered, tears springing to his eyes and smiling at her. She nodded, her green eyes shining. Nick kissed her and then realization hit him....she was dead. She had been dead for almost a whole year, did that mean he had died as well? 

"I know what you're thinking." Tracy whispered in his ear. Nick was so happy to see her again, but he didn't want it to be like this. 

"Am I.....am I?" Nick asked, his voice breaking. 

"If you choose to be, baby. We can be together forever." Tracy said, her hand on his neck. Nick thought about this. If he chose to stay, he would never see Amanda or his daughter again. 

"i know you love her, Nick. I don't want you here if you don't want to be here. Do what your heart is telling you. I will always love you, baby....I will wait for you." Tracy said. Nick nodded at her. 

"I'm sorry.....I miss you so much....but I love Amanda." he whispered, touching her soft hair and kissing her gently on the cheek.

"Go to her....she needs you more than I do....you belong to her." Tracy said, holding him. Nick leaned in to kiss her again but woke up in his bed, feeling sick but much better than before. He knew now that he belonged with Amanda and he had to make it official, there was a lot of planning to do. Nick grinned to himself, at least he had plenty of time to plan everything. He wasn't going anywhere.


	54. Chapter 54

"You sure you'll be okay while Amanda and I are gone, AJ?" Nick asked with a grin as he packed his suitcase. He was taking a trip to the Virgin Islands with Amanda, their first vacation alone. AJ was hesitant but promised he would take care of the kids. 

"Nick, I got it covered. Celine loves me. Aaron is 12, what are you worried about?" he scoffed. Nick finished packing and shit the suitcase, turning to look at him with a bemused expression. 

"Jay, you can't even make toast." he teased, crossing the room to check his closet. 

"That was just the one time." AJ quipped. 

"Okay, but still. I don't want the house blowing up while I am away." Nick said, as he rummaged through his closet before picking out a suit and packing it in the second suitcase he laid on the bed. He was nervous about the trip, all right. This trip with Amanda would change everything for the two of them. The next evening, Nick and Amanda said their goodbyes before leaving for their trip. 

"I wish you would tell me where we are going, baby." Amanda said, her brown eyes narrowed at him. 

"Ah, but its a surprise." Nick said with a wink. Amanda hated when Nick was secretive, but loved it at the same time because their relationship was always exciting. She moved to hand AJ the baby, but Celine grabbed her around the neck and made noise in protest. 

"Sweetheart, mommy is going on a trip with daddy. You're staying with Uncle AJ." Amanda said, as Nick tried to pry the baby off of her. 

"Be good for Uncle AJ, honey." Nick said, once AJ had the baby. Celine grunted in protest and reached for Amanda. Her blue eyes were watering and Amanda almost took her back. It was the first time she would be separated from the baby since she was born. 

"Do we have to go?" Amanda said, turning to face Nick and pouting. 

"We have to get to the airport, baby." Nick told her, watching the time. Amanda said goodbye to the baby again and they left, leaving AJ with the kids. AJ carried Celine to the couch, and sat down while holding her.

"Well now what?" Aaron asked, shrugging. Celine was focused on the door, watching it to see if Amanda and Nick would return. 

"Did you do your homework?" AJ asked as he turned on the TV with his free hand. 

"Awe come on, AJ. Nick isn't here." the boy protested. 

"Your brother would never let me hear the end of it..." AJ said as the baby started whimpering. 

"Not now Celine...." he thought when she let out a wail. She was full blown crying about a few moments later. AJ stood up and carried her through the living room, pacing back and forth while patting her gently on the back and shushing her. The baby cried and cried, her voice drowning out everything else. After about two hours and trying everything he could to calm her, AJ had just about given up. 

"Can't you make her stop, AJ?" Aaron begged, covering his ears and wincing at the baby's screaming. AJ looked frazzled as he bounced her gently and shushed her, but nothing worked.

"Its not like she has an off button, kiddo. I don't know what else to do." he said in frustration. 

"Can't you sing to her? That's what Nick does." Aaron suggested. Sure...that was easy for Nick to just sing to whoever he wanted to. AJ knew how to sing somewhat, but he never showed off. He was just not into singing to the baby. 

"What about you, Aaron? You sound like your brother." AJ said in protest as the baby cried louder still. 

"Oh no...I don't do the singing thing. I couldn't." Aaron protested, backing away. 

"How the heck do we get her to stop crying then?" AJ mused. He thought of calling Amanda and Nick, privately decided he shouldn't bother them. 

"She's gonna get sick if she keeps up like this." Aaron pointed out, as AJ handed him the baby. 

"Take her in the other room while I use the phone." he said, after Aaron gave him a look of protest. AJ picked up his cell and called the first person he could think of.

"Hello?"

"Brian, I need you to come over here. Celine won't stop crying..." AJ said, sighing as a headache started taking over. He felt like a failure for calling Brian, he had promised he could handle taking care of the baby while Nick was away. Brian showed up not long after with his dog Tyke. Aaron fell in love with the Chihuahua right away. 

"He is soo cute!" Aaron marvled as the dog ran around the kitchen. 

"I had to bring him, I can't leave him alone. What's wrong with Celine?" Brian said as AJ came in the room with Celine, who was still crying even though she had no tears left. 

"Make her stop! Please?" AJ begged, looking stressed beyond belief as he handed the baby to Brian. 

"Come here baby girl...don't cry..." Brian said sweetly, gently rubbing her back and kissing her on the forehead.   
"AJ, why is she crying?" Brian whispered as he was calming Celine. 

"How the fuck should I know? She hasn't stopped since Nick and Amanda left!" AJ explained as he rummaged for some asprin. He heard a shaking noise and turned around to see Aaron holding a jar of money. 

"Crap....wait! I....oh come on Aaron. Nick isn't home." AJ whined. 

"Pay up AJ." Aaron smirked devilishly, holding up the jar. Nick had placed the jar in the kitchen to keep people from swearing in front of the kids. The money was going to be split into college funds for Aaron and Celine....so Aaron had taken to the idea almost right away. AJ dug into his pocket and took out two dollars before reluctantly stuffing them into the jar. 

"I hate that thing. Nick and his bonehead ideas." AJ complained before realizing that the baby had stopped crying. 

"How do you DO that? I have been trying all day!" AJ said in surprise. Celine was content, her head on Brian's shoulder and her lips curved into a small smile. 

"When Lance left Amanda I was the one who helped take care of the baby. Celine is used to being with me. I suppose Nick and Amanda went away and Celine is having separation anxiety?" Brian whispered with a grin.

"She started crying as soon as Amanda left. They are gone for a week, can you help me take care of her? I promised them I would, but you seem to be better for her." AJ asked. Brian smiled as the baby fell asleep on his chest. He always loved Celine like a daughter, he was glad to help. AJ was usually too stubborn to ask for help but admitting defeat was a start. He just hoped nothing else would go wrong while Nick and Amanda were away.


	55. Chapter 55

Nick was excited as they drove from the airport to their private cabana in the Virgin Islands, where he had taken Amanda on vacation. He felt his heart race once they got inside the cabana, they were really there. Nick had found the place while he was sick....surfing the internet on his laptop when he had been confined to his room for two days. The beach was isolated...so nobody could bother them. 

"Nick, this is beautiful..." Amanda marveled at the view from their window in the kitchen, that looked over the bay. The ocean was so clear you could see right to the bottom....Amanda knew they didn't have that back in Jersey. This is why she loved living in Florida, it was so much cleaner and relaxed than back north. Nick walked over behind Amanda, putting his arms around her and kissing her neck as she giggled, kissing his face. She loved him like this, when he was romantic and affectionate. Nick was always good to her, always making sure she felt loved. The two of them rested on the first day after their flight, snuggling near one another in the king sized bed. In the morning, Nick surprised Amanda with a spa day....what surprised her even more was that Nick came along for the manicure, pedicure and facial....not to mention the massage. After the day of pampering, they relaxed in the hot tub drinking champagne. 

"How did you like the spa, Nick?" Amanda asked as he massaged her shoulders, his thumbs caressing her shoulder blade. 

"It was very relaxing. You girls may be onto something there," he replied with a chuckle as he finished his second glass. Amanda laughed and they kissed passionately before going to bed hand in hand, completely in love. The next morning, Nick woke up feeling knots in his stomach. He was so nervous about their dinner that night on the yacht he had rented out and hoped it would all go the way he wanted it to. As Amanda slept in the bed, Nick rummaged through his suitcase and pulled out a small velvet jewelry box....containing a ring. Taking the ring out, Nick twirled it between his fingers, the diamonds twinkling brightly. It was a silver band encrusted with diamonds all the way around it and their initials engraved on the inside. This ring had been with Nick for a long time and he had saved it for this day, the day he would ask Amanda to marry him. He had been waiting for this day, had planned it carefully down to the last detail as he did for everything. When it was time for dinner, Nick waited at the end of the dock for Amanda. She was dressed beautifully, wearing a red dress that came just above her knees. Her brown hair was tied back, and she wore simple jewelry, a silver chain and earrings. Amanda walked to the end of the dock where there was a large yacht waiting just behind Nick. It was still light outside, but the sky was turning beautiful colors of red, pink and orange. As the boat sailed out over the open water, Nick led Amanda to a table set for the two of them on the deck. 

"This is beautiful, Nick....thank you." Amanda said as he held out her chair for her to sit down. Amanda was impressed by the view, nothing but water all around, and a gorgeous sunset in front of them.

"Nick, this has been a wonderful vacation, I'm glad I got to come here." Amanda said as she ate her chicken.   
"I thought you could use some time away from the family, just the two of us." Nick said, one of his hands fumbling inside his pocket. 

"I was just surprised that you wanted to go away again after we just went to see my parents." Amanda said, eyeing Nick curiously as he shifted in his chair....his eyes looking towards the sun setting in the distance. 

"Well, family is important to me...I wanted to meet them." Nick answered as he poured her another glass of champagne. 

"I love that you took the time to meet them, my father said he respects you for that." Amanda said. 

"I'm glad they like me, because I plan on being with you for a long time." Nick replied as he handed her the glass and watched her drink it. Amanda stared at him curiously, his eyes watching her champagne glass. After a few sips, she saw something glinting in the bottom, a diamond ring. 

"What is that?" she exclaimed with a huge grin on her face as one appeared on Nick's. Nick tried desperately to get the ring out of Amanda's champagne glass, but his hands were too big. Amanda laughed and took the glass from him before draining the contents. She handed him the ring and he dried it carefully with a napkin from the table. 

"Amanda...." Nick started as he bent down on his right knee in front of her. Amanda immediately began crying, a smile spread across her face. 

"Amanda, I would love to spend the rest of my life with you....you're the best thing to happen to my life. Will you marry me?" Nick said, holding the ring to her as the sun sank below the horizon. The stars were beginning to come out, the sunset fading away. Amanda wiped her eyes and nodded, tears of happiness filling them. 

"Yes....yes....I will." she whispered, and Nick placed the ring on her hand before they kissed under the stars.

 

-To be continued in Still The One!-


End file.
